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Thread: Why do we become ab's if we are all so diverse?

  1. #1

    Default Why do we become ab's if we are all so diverse?

    So im driving myself crazy trying to figure out what triggets infantalism. I was reading several post and some people have had horrible childhoods while others had great ones. I had an incredible done and reletively normal but I was always infatuated with diapers. My fiancee is a abdl because she had a abdl a rough turn of events and I showed her infantalism... so Im puzzled as to why we become infantalist regardless of culture or upbringing it seems to fucking random@_@

  2. #2


    Maybe infantilism is just an inherent personality trait that some people have.

  3. #3


    I think the biggest lack of clarity as to a cause is that we're not all talking about the same thing. The difference between two ABs or two DLs can be as great as between any given AB or DL as to what they like, don't like or what they feel has caused this. These are labels for our convenience and don't represent an accounting of the whys and wherefores. Superficially, we're a big group of people who like diapers but there's so much variation that I don't think it makes sense to look for causes in a casual, non-clinical way.

    Ultimately, I think the cause is less important than what you do with the desire when it's here. Maybe someday we'll get some rigorous study from professionals but even knowing definitively where this came from wouldn't make much difference to me. Why do I like almonds? I think it's pretty much the same except that it's more potentially upsetting to others. Best of luck making peace with it.

  4. #4


    Yeah, what Trevor said.

    There is after all more than one way to skin a cat. People are diverse, so are their backgrounds. In the end, most of our desires came from some event far beyond our memory, like when we were 1 or 2 years of age. If that is the case, then none of us are really able to pinpoint a specific event in our lives that lead to these desires. It's like we're guessing about the colors of a painting, but we can't look at the painting itself, only its reflection.

  5. #5


    This is silly on several levels.

    For one, AB/DL is a wide spectrum, that on one side is a purely sexual attraction and the other is a totally different attraction. A lot of labels for low-percentage-incidence groups are actually rather broad, covering a bunch of super-low-percentage-incidence groups that share some similarities.

    For two, AB/DLs are freakin' rare specimens. There's a real sense of irony to asking how we all seem to be alike even though we're supposed to be diverse because we are pretty freakin' unusual. This is the very essence of what makes us diverse relative to the rest of the world.

    For three, nobody knows what causes infantilism or anything else that has anything potentially to do with sexual orientation; if someone did, we'd probably be among those best informed who weren't activity publishing research.

  6. #6


    well, only you know what caused it for you. You are the only one who knows why you are a ab/dl, everyone else would just be guessing. If you are really interested in figuring out why are a ab/dl, you need to think of the correct questions to ask yourself. A counselor or therapist might be able to help you figure it out, by guiding you in the direction of questions to ask yourself. Short of that, some people it might take many years of questioning themselfs, or they might not figure it out at all.

  7. #7


    So im driving myself crazy trying to figure out what triggets infantalism. I was reading several post and some people have had horrible childhoods while others had great ones. I had an incredible done and reletively normal but I was always infatuated with diapers. My fiancee is a abdl because she had a abdl a rough turn of events and I showed her infantalism... so Im puzzled as to why we become infantalist regardless of culture or upbringing it seems to fucking random@_@
    You might want to hunt down other posts I've made on this topic.

    Let's start with basics. If you look around, let's just take American culture because I'm familiar with that, but look around you. Our society, like it or not, is infatuated with an idea that dates back to the stone age--the idea of not losing youth. Look around and you see engineers that were inspired as kids watching star trek and the like and now we have cell phones, sliding doors, video telecommunication, you name it. I hear so many stories of inventors like that that claim not only is it their dream job but in many ways they describe themselves as being able to be a kid again...that they think with that mindset. Our culture is also infatuated with never appearing old. The obsession is the weight loss industry, health food industry, cosmetic industry...none of this is new at all.

    As I said at the beginning of this, cave men were doing this--using berries or dyes as a beauty tool. We have evidence of the Egyptians for sure and pretty much all primary sources of civilization have a society with similar taste. The Egyptians had early forms of makeup and of course mummification and all that.

    Because of the substantial amount of consistent and timeless desire to maintain youth, I wholeheartedly believe that our desires have a beginning surely in genetics and are likely triggered by a number of the things commonly talked about here. The trigger could be coping--one post I just read talked about someone bed wetting following a loved one's death. A desire for comfort, a desire to relax...all of these triggers if you think about it...this all relates a lot to the youth craze.

    What do you accomplish by putting enough makeup on to hide all your blemishes, lose 30 lbs, or jump out of a plane? (with a parachute!) You fool yourself into thinking you aren't as old as you are, that you didn't lose that youthful side and you gain the feelings of...comfort, attractiveness, renewed spirit, and coping with the fact you are older than you used to be. There is a definite generalized fear in our culture of loss...think of some people's greatest fears--one is Alzheimer's, death of course, and not being able to do the things we used to and still love. (like playing some sports or other "youthful" ventures)

    We may express the desire for youth differently than mainstream culture but I believe our entire civilisation has the urge to not lose youthfulness.

    So here we come to the point where I'd like to link this idea of youthfulness that I believe is inherent in most people. If that be the case, why aren't we obsessed with weight loss and other silly endevours as such. So we got here by saying genetics has something to do with it and my belief is everyone is wired a little differently. Those "triggers" discussed earlier let's replace them with stimuli for your mind. A feeling of comfort is really the releasing of chemicals in your head right? Well it's pretty simple that if I put something that tastes good to you in front of will eat it...and want more! Some people may think it tastes terrible as well.

    So okay, let's just think in general that people's brains are actively seeking things that taste good to feel various good feelings and avoid the bad. But it goes deeper than that, we get a much more furfilling and sensational feeling from doing what we do. So I think we are driven to this particular desire due to a subconscious rumbling. If we think of our mind as an AI program it tends to make more sense. If given a special trigger, adding to a database of for instance "coping mechanisms" or "relaxing mechanisms," our mind one day is forced to look for the ultimate in a particular stimuli we need at that time. This is where that one day where we occasionally question where AB starts in the first place. Only something like this connects us deep enough within ourselves to accomplish what our minds demand in terms of stimulus at the time.

    I do not think it is solely a surrogate, rather an addendum in excess to how that stimuli is "normally" achieved in the rest of society. If you could have a potato chip that tastes 100 times better than everyone else's potato chips, your mind is willing to justify for you that that's a good deal and urges you (as any good AI program would) to take the significantly better chip.
    Last edited by Iggy; 16-Jun-2010 at 05:35.

  8. #8


    Iggy, great theory indeed, but even though it might apply to many, it does not apply to all, and I know this because it does not apply to me (course I am a very odd individual )

  9. #9


    The problem with trying to develop a comprehensive theory for the causation of infantilism is that infantilism is essentially a loose set of wants and affects, not a set of causes connected to effects. Consider the difference between the measles and cancer. The measles is defined both in terms of symptoms and causes, namely, fever, rashes, coughing, small spots, being caused by the rubeola virus. One who has the rubeola virus in a dormant phase does not have measles, nor does one who exhibits the same symptoms without the virus have measles. So a theory of causation can be very simply derived from the definition of the term: the measles (by virtue of being a disease caused by the rubeola virus) is caused by the rubeola virus. But outside of such situations, where tautology ensures that the theory is valid, things are much more complicated.

    Cancer is solely defined as a set of symptoms, namely, uncontrolled and inordinate cell division. One who tries to develop a theory of causation for cancer might discover certain common causal links -- e.g. that 70% of people with lung cancer smoke cigarettes (not an actual statistic) -- but if the study proceeds, one will quickly become lost. This set of people got cancer from HPV, this set from sun exposure, this set from genetic predisposition. Any theory that tries to be comprehensive, linking all of these causes together, misses the point: cancer is not defined according to its causes, but only according to its effects. There is simply no reason to believe that all the causes should be linked, that there is one unified uber-cause that gives rise to both HPV and sun exposure and cigarette smoking. The assumption that there must be a single, unified theory of causation is a blatantly modern and unsubstantiated.

    It's not often that I compare ABDLism to cancer (eesh), but in this case the analogy fits: the meaning of "ABDL" has nothing to do with causation, only with a set of wants and affects that people possess. There is simply no reason to assume that all cases of ABDLism must be causally similar, nor that their causes can be linked together in any unified, comprehensive way. So, OP, I would encourage you not to get too wrapped up in figuring out "what causes ABDL." A better question to ask is, "What caused ABDL in my life?" There may be common denominators between different people's causes, but there certainly doesn't have to be.

  10. #10


    Its all in the personality I think. Some people develop it, some are probly just born with it. The fact is all of us are so diffrent that I bet not all of us got into diapers and stuff the same way. It's just the way it is. Or I think so.

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