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Thread: What role does AB/DL-ism play in your life?

  1. #1

    Default What role does AB/DL-ism play in your life?

    Um...I kinda want some opinions on this, so I thought I'd ask around. What exactly do you think AB/DL-ism (infantilism) should be to a person?

    Lately, I can't stop thinking about it in my free time, and its starting to eat away at me. I really don't wanna become obsessed with this, but I like it too much to just give it up.

    I'm sort of an idealist, so, ideally, I think it should be similiar to a hobby. Just something you do for fun sometimes and isn't a big deal (because we all know, wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers after the age of 5 is no big deal *insert sarcasm here*).

    Am I making mountain out of a molehill? What do you think?

  2. #2


    I think most of us deal with this at some point or another. It can take a long time before you reach a comfortable level of engagement, and each person's level is going to vary. If you can enjoy being an AB or DL without having it interfere with your social life, family relationships, and professional or academic responsibilities, I think there's no cause for concern. Now, it can take a long time to reach that level. Many of us have at some point gone through the destructive, frustrating and unhealthy binge/purge cycle. If you are thinking about it all the time and it's interfering with the rest of the life, that's not healthy. Sometimes you'll go through a period of high salience, and decide to wear a lot. There's nothing wrong with that--I go through periods where I wear quite a bit, do the whole age play thing, and so on. Other times, I'll go for a week or two and do very little.

    I think you need to try to be honest with yourself about how your AB/DL status is influencing your life. You need to be somewhat self-critical--is being an AB keeping you from doing things that you need to do, or things that you enjoy doing? If it isn't, however, you need to try to reach an accommodation that works for you. I find if I'm thinking about nappies a lot, wearing them for a while or playing with myself will put me more at ease. For a long time I was more a DL than an AB, though I'm now embracing my AB side. Being an AB/DL is, for most of us, a hobby, but it's more deeply-rooted than that. It isn't necessarily something you can pick up or drop as you please. Some posters here have all but stopped wearing, but for most of us that isn't something we want to do. It sounds like you have a healthy concern about keeping this as part of your life without letting it dominate your life. That is a huge step in the right direction. Now, you just need to find the balance that works for you.

  3. #3


    Iīm sure that a lot of us tryed to stop and get out this inseparable part of personality. Me to. But later I asked: Am I happy without my stuff, without my relax ? And how ages are running, more and more I answered NO. Hell is, that I canīt be AB, when and where I want, only when and where I can. May this way is better, this world isnīt ready to see AB/DL outside. Sometimes itīs the hell, you want and you canīt for actual ambience. Itīs why I can have some balance. I canīt say if it works good, but it works. Is esy like this: Iīm what Iīm, and now I donīt give shit what can think others. I know that this night Iīll...

    Discover this concept is really hard way.
    Last edited by CrazySmoker; 03-Jun-2010 at 11:15.

  4. #4


    You've kind of asked two connected, but different questions here:

    1. What role does AB/DL play in your life?

    From a DL perspective, diapers are a fetish.


    It isn't something more, but it certainly cannot be written off as something less. It's more than a hobby and much much less than a necessity. I consider it a legitimate part of who I am rather than simply something that I do, but I'm careful not to let it in any way dictate my life. I enjoy it and I'd rather have diapers in my closet right now than not, but I could easily live without them and I wouldn't dare put myself in a position wherein I stand to lose social relationships because of the fetish. I don't hate having a diaper fetish, but if I could get rid of it I would do so in a heartbeat because it's in no way worth the trouble.

    2. Does anyone have advice on how I should reconcile my AB/DL tendencies with my everyday life?

    I'd imagine we all have periods where we think deeply about role our kinks and related desires play into our lives. Such a period in my life ultimately led to me to start a private journal (something I'd highly recommend to anyone, and have in fact recommended before on ADISC - in fact, a journal may be quite helpful to you at this particular moment) and eventually led to me joining this community.

    To an extent, what we think AB/DL should be to a person doesn't really matter insofar as you are the only one who can actually settle upon a balance point in your life. If they make you happy, there is nothing wrong with doing AB/DL activities - you just have to figure out how to balance them with the other activities that make you happy as well as with a responsible plan to achieve long-term happiness.

  5. #5


    I never wrote, that be AB is something wrong. Is a part of my mine. Point of my opinion is that every addict means slawery and this I hate. But this time exception done.

  6. #6


    I think it should be similiar to a hobby
    In my opinion, I treat my AB/DL side of me like a hobby.
    Definition of hobby fits it almost exact: An activity or interest pursued outside one's regular occupation and engaged in primarily for fun.

  7. #7


    Won't assume all of us go through this but I definitely go through ups and downs. There are times where I feel like I need to be in a diaper all the time or am thinking about being in a diaper. There are other times where I can go for some period of time without wearing or thinking about it at all. I have always tried to figure out if there was some trigger, but after all these years I have not figured out.

    I do find when I am in that "obsessive mode" that by indulging as much as I can the urge tends to lessen whereas if I try to avoid, it becomes more of a distraction.

  8. #8


    ive tried to stop as well but in the long run ive learned that it is a part of me and I cant turn it off So now i enjoy it to the fullest i can without bringing attetion to myself.

  9. #9


    I am a mature adult woman challenged by profound urinary incontinence. Back in October 1990 I had already needed diapers 24/7 for over 5 years, and night diapers for 14 years. All the effort to plan my life around diaper changes was depressing me.

    Then my youngest sister Missy, who is also incontinent, told me she uses Adult Baby play to cope. Not all the time, but when she is home. For a week after trying a pacifier and baby bottle I was super happy. Then as I read much more about the AB world I tried some more things, such as an adult Onesies. In my apartment I would help my plushies perform plays to entertain me.

    One thing led to another. Missy and I participated in two Halloween costume parties wearing matching Onesies Missy designed. Several AB men introduced themselves. I was asked to write for DPF. I fell in love with Don Davis, who is my loving husband.

    For me the actual playing with my plushies might only be a few minutes an evening when home. I almost always use a pacifier when going to sleep. Most Sundays Don and I have brunch with a bunch of AB friends living near us, which includes Missy and her husband.

    Despite being diapered 24/7 I do not let any AB thoughts distract me when I am working.

  10. #10


    Mingus, CrazySmoker, NutFreeFruitCake, MrKittyKat, BBWanaB, MTDL84, and AngelaBauer, thank you very much for all of your comments, suggestions, and advice. Listening to you has been very helpful and given me some insight on what I should think about, and what I should be aiming for. I appreciate it!

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