You heard me right. I, Happy Lurker, am building a paradise. At the moment it is only in the planning stages, but hopefully it'll kick off with the support of some of you fine folks. Anyone is allowed to come, and there is no registration process (unless you currently live in Toronto, in which case you will have to be evaluated).
I am hoping to buy a private tropical island somewhere. Hopefully there will be no buildings on it. If there are they will be promptly demolished. If you don't like heat or malaria, than you probably aren't fit to live in my paradise.
You're also not fit to live in my paradise if you hate other people. This paradise will be built on friendship and community. As a result, there will be no single leader. Instead, everyone in the community will have a part in decisions. Wealth will be shared with everyone, not hoarded. We share everything: bannanas, mangos, lobster, shelter, water, ect. If you're neighbour needs something, then you are to give him/help him get/teach him how to get whatever he needs.
The island will be completely cut off from the outside world. We will soon be forgotten.
Music and art will be prominent in our culture. You won't be able to walk down the street without hearing some kind of refreshing tune.
If you wish to come, you are responsible for buying your own plane ticket, but once you get down here money will have no meaning.
At first there will be no electricity, no shelter. I'm sorry, but at first we will just have to spend our nights laying in white, coral sand looking up at the untouched stars and bright moon as a tropical breeze blows softly past. I recomend bringing a tent if such things disgust you.
Perhaps after the first year I'll have designed a battery that can power our refrigerators where we shall keep a plethora of smooth, tropical fruit drinks.
There will be lots of clean, pristine rivers full of fresh water running down from the mountain in the center of the island. There will also be tons of fruit trees whose plump, juicy fruits we can feast on untill we have the technology to build fishing lines and lobster cages.
Only Buddhism will be practised, as I know many of you are atheists and very high-strung, so I feel a bit of non-divine meditation could do you well. Group meditations will be held every morning in my hut.
Clothing will be optional. You will not be judged based on appearence. Besides, I bet a bit of tan is all you need to look good.
Turtles will be the national pet.
Cocounts will be the national currency. And I have decreed that they shall be shared equally.
Limbo tournaments will be held frequently and spontaniously.
All volleyballs will have faces painted on them in order to be legal.
Cannabalism will not be tolerated, I don't care how sick of tropical fruit you are.
The people living on my paradise island will be required, by law, to be the most laid-back and chilaxed people in the world. Under penalty of being tickled.
The first month everyone is down there will be a national holiday. You will be required to lay around on the white sand beaches in the shade of palm trees as the clear, turquoise ocean softly laps up onto shore. I'm sorry, but you have to.