Quite simply, how much effort should you put in when looking for a relationship?
A little bit of backstory. With my minimal experience (1 relationship) that you should avoid relationships out of desperation, especially when it turns out you don't get on with a person as much as you think you did. Also learned, almost in the worst way possible, that you should avoid a relationship out of lust - especially a kinky one. Thankfully avoided that one before getting into it though. But now I'm starting to get an idea of what a healthy relationship looks like. And I want one. Lots. I just have to see two people in a happy relationship - even a heterosexual one (i.e. one I'm not even interested in) and I get incredibly jealous.
So - if I want to get one, how much effort should I put into it? At the moment there is no one I know well enough and like well enough in that way that I would consider a serious relationship with them. I'm not sure there ever has been. And I've been told lots of different things about it.
On the one hand you seem to have these people who join loads and loads of dating websites, go out to bars regularly looking for people, go out regularly speed dating. Really put a lot of effort into trying to find someone.
Then on the other hand you get people who don't seem to put much effort in at all. Eventually (I'm not pretending it's always a quick thing) someone just turns up and everything just goes well.
How much effort would you put in looking for a relationship? What would you recommend in general? Any comments in general along the lines of putting effort into looking for a relationships?