Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: Help with nyctophobia, please

  1. #1

    Default Help with nyctophobia, please

    Hello friends,

    this will surely be a rather long post, so bear with me. Iím getting kind of desperate now, but I will explain thorougly.

    All my life Iíve been suffering from one phobia, and just one. All my youth I thought it was just common fear, a phase that every kid goes through. But I never got past it, instead it grew into a paralysing aspect of my life which I, due to the conditions of my problem, probably never will be able to avoid.

    I suffer from nyctophobia, the fear of darkness. As I said, when young I was always positive about it, thinking it was just temporary. But now, Iím almost an adult and I canít walk more than a few feet in darkness before panic strikes and totally destroys whatever sanity that was currently residing in me. The feeling, for me, to be in a dark environment (though, not in bed) is the same as killing a piece of me. I immediatly start to hyper ventilate, shake and lose all mental control I have over the situation at hand. It breaks me up totally, and it pretty much always happen multiple times a week, by different circumstances.

    When I try to sleep, itís a bit different, but still nerve-wrecking. I tend not to get panic attacks, but rather long periods of angst and cold sweat, for example. Being a creative person I always imagine things that seem to real to me to forget, that I canít escape my own mental creations in the dark. Itís like the darkness corrupts my surroundings, everything getís more hostile. Environment, stuff... christís sake, even my closest friends turns corrupt when light ceases.

    This is for me a social handicap. I sleep with multiple flashlights in my room, I always carry one with me in my jacket, just in case. Darkness is one thing you canít really escape either, itís always present and I always have to find ways to avoid it.

    Believe me, Iíve tried to get help. The only real acknowledged method of ďcuringĒ a phobia that Iíve heard of is practiced in modern psychodynamics, a whole system of theories developed by Sigmund Freud himself. These methods usually consists of gradually approaching oneís fear until you get used to it and stop being afraid. But to what odds will this work with me, whoís been sleeping in pitch black for almost my whole life?

    But take note, this phobia is probably my most deepest secret, and shame when you put it like that. I havenít told a soul about it (except you, now) and I hope Iíll never have to either. I see this as my weakness, my Achillesí heel. So I wonít aim to tell this to people, and hopefully itíll be a secret Iíll take to my grave.

    Iíve reached desperation with this, as I said at the beginning, and any advice at all is greatly appreciated.

    cheers mates x

  2. #2
    Error404

    Default

    It's not a weakness. Most people have one fear or another. The best thing you can do though is to force yourself to face it...There's no magic cure or answer...You just need to expose yourself to it as well and as often as you can in a secure environment until your brain learns that there is nothing to be scared of.

    In all fairness, a good 90% of people are still heavily unnerved in pitch black locations, simply because the unknown is so much more creepy than the known.

  3. #3

    Default

    Indeed, it may be so. But facing it is a bit of a paradox. Being in darkness is, for all humans, an ineventebility (yet, pardon my spelling). This far, spending casual time hasn't helped, but I see what you're aiming for.

    The thing is, which I didn't really put alot emphasis on in the original post is that, once in darkness, all the deepest thoughts and ideas I have kind of get free, and in my head, also real. When you're mind seperates you from reality and makes you face your own mental manifistations, hell, I'm always a bit surprised I'm still as sane as I am now.

    But still, thanks alot lad, every bit helps in the end.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Crassi View Post
    Being in darkness is, for all humans, an ineventebility

    No it's not.. The only times I ever been in complete and total darkness is situations I willingly put myself in. And all of those times it was to be scared on some level. From standing in a pitch black bathroom saying candyman/bloodymary in the mirror 3 times, to riding Space Mountain at disneyland.


    That said, there is nothing wrong with being afraid of the dark I think. The main reason being you couldn't possibly see which poses a danger to yourself and others. Just like I don't light heights because I know if I fall off a cliff that's like 300 feet high I will be dead. People that don't know how to swim can fear water because they know there's a chance they could die.

    phobia's are perfectly natural I think and are a natural way to help us stay alive or keep us from injury.


    Also im not afraid of the dark... im afraid of what hides in the dark. (Sorry, but it is fun to make fun of ourselves)

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Fire2box View Post
    Just like I don't light heights because I know if I fall off a cliff that's like 300 feet high I will be dead. People that don't know how to swim can fear water because they know there's a chance they could die.
    Well, the difference I see is the fact that darkness is more or less abstract, or just an abscence of light, if you speak in those terms.

    I do not fear the abscence of light, no. I fear what my mind makes of the darkness, hence the fact that I fear the face that I, unawarely, put on it. It's contradicting, yes, when you do not fear the abstract, but yet you do not fear anything necessarily physical at all, which in the end makes it, yet again, something "unreal". Or maybe I'm just digging in the wrong end, God only know.

  6. #6

    Default

    I'd also consider that it may not be a phobia. It may be a brain disorder. It seems that what you are describing is that: in the absence of light, you are unable to distinguish real/rational thoughts from imagined/irrational thoughts. I've read about some strange brain disorders and this doesn't seem to be out of the realm of possibility. Perhaps your brain uses the presence of light to "anchor" your emotions to "reality", and without light it just runs haywire.

    Just a wild ass guess on my part.

  7. #7

    Default

    I remember be afraid of the dark when I was younger, but I grew out of it after realizing I could always turn on a light.

    I still do not like totally dark situations and avoid them, I sleep with a TV on and if it go's off during the night I have a flashlight charging near my bed and other lights placed around my house in areas where I can get to them.

    I'm not afraid any longer.

  8. #8

    Smile



    Quote Originally Posted by Crassi View Post
    The only real acknowledged method of ďcuringĒ a phobia that Iíve heard of is practiced in modern psychodynamics, a whole system of theories developed by Sigmund Freud himself. These methods usually consists of gradually approaching oneís fear until you get used to it and stop being afraid.
    I don't think the "exposure therapy" is the only way to treat phobias - I've read that psychotherapy and/or drugs can also be used, so maybe you could try to speak to a psychotherapist or your doctor to see if they could help you. This page on eHow has a couple of suggestions that might be of interest too.

    I hope you manage to work something out.

  9. #9

    Default

    I was afraid of the dark as a kid, but I've always been close to the spiritual, so things seemed to go bump in the night. Now however, I feel completely different. The dark is my friend. I know my house almost instinctively. In the dark I can hear anything that is moving in it. If someone was to break in, I could negotiate the house in complete darkness, knowing where each hall leads, each twist and turn, where as the other would be at a loss.

    I no longer fear the things unseen, but embrace them, though the house I'm living in is very quiet most times, and I sleep like the dead. If I were you, I would have a night light in my room. Make your environment friendly to you. Rather than feel guilt, just realize that no one is perfect and find ways to accommodate your fear.
    Last edited by dogboy; 21-May-2010 at 04:40.

  10. #10

    Default

    If you think about it, fear of the dark is fairly rational, what you fear is not the dark itself, as you say, but what your mind does when it is confronted with this. It is perfectly rational to fear the unknown, and for creatures so dependant on sight, like we are, not being able to see is rational.

    Best thing I can reconnend is to just keep telling yourself that it is all in your head.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.