I've been quite fortunate. I knew my great grandparents and vaguely remember going to see a great great grandmother when I was a child. I didn't loose my grandfather on my dad's side until I was 29.
I will soon turn 33 and for the past year and a half have watched my Mother's Dad slip away in the cruel grip of a cancer that has spread throughout his body and recently reached his brain.
This is a man that supported and pushed me to get an education as my Dad told me that I was a screw up and would ruin my life. I guess you could say that by not being present my Dad caused both of my Grandfathers to step in and fill the void. In loosing my mom's dad I will loose a supporter, daddy, logical guide, and a man that I've always looked upon as being immortal.
I can't even bring myself to tell my granddad that I lost my job because the last thing I want is him worrying about me in his final weeks. Worse yet I hear my Dad's words ringing in my ears as I desperately seek another job in the worst economy of my lifetime.
Anyway, I needed to write this. My Granddad asked me to have my exgirlfriend come to see him and I thought I would talk with her about the situation, until she said that she couldn't promise to drive down to see him before he dies in the weeks or months to come.
I can't say that I'm in a good place right now. I need to sleep that I may get up and be well prepared for my interview with the Sheriffs Department in the morning, but I'm just not sure where it ranks in importance at present.
If anyone has any spiritual or philosophical words of encouragement, I welcome them.