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Thread: important to separate?

  1. #1

    Default important to separate?

    Hi everyone, Ive only introduced myself so far on the greetings section of the forum, but I was hoping I might be able to get some advice from some of you

    Recently, my boyfriend admitted to me that he had a diaper fetish, before we were intimate with eachother. Since then, we have tried to be intimate, but he has 'problems', so to speak - he says it is from worrying about thinking about his fetish while we are together. I was just wondering how important it is for him to separate intimacy from fetish, and whether anyone has had any similar problems and how they have overcome them? Any stories/experiences/advice would be massively appreciated

    G x

  2. #2

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    It's ultimately something for you two to sort out. It depends on the level of comfort with it being involved in your intimacy, and that really refers to both of you. Normally, I'd expect the person without the ABDL urge to be the one most uncomfortable but I could also see being not ready to share that or never inclined to at all. It's different for everyone. All I can really say definitively is that I don't think it is objectively necessary that there be any separation, it's all a wiggly thing that you two can work out.

    Perhaps we can be clearer if you give us a bit more to go on in terms of your feelings: when you say he's "worried" about the fetish, do you mean (or think he means) that anxiety about involving or not involving diapers in your intimacy is causing a problem or that he's having trouble performing without the diapers? How do you feel about his desire for diapers? Do you think it's competition? Is it disgusting? Maybe just another weird kink in the list of things humans get stuck on? Something else? Sorry it's so vague but I think we can be more helpful with a bit more information.
    Last edited by Trevor; 14-May-2010 at 22:01. Reason: removing redunant redunancy.

  3. #3

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    I'm going to have to agree with Trevor. This is definitely something you two need to sort out together as a couple. It's always possible that he is just kind of *ahem* awkward and is embarrassed about that, as well. Try indulging in his fetish if you're comfortable with that. It'll make him feel less alone, I'm sure.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    when you say he's "worried" about the fetish, do you mean (or think he means) that anxiety about involving or not involving diapers in your intimacy is causing a problem or that he's having trouble performing without the diapers?...Sorry it's so vague but I think we can be more helpful with a bit more information.
    Thanks for your kind words and advice . Well his fetish is something he's been battling with, so far as I understand he doesn't want to have it, and so is keen to develop intimacy without involving diapers. He has never slept with someone before, so i think maybe its because he's never had to separate sexual feeling from diapers. He says he is worried that he will start thinking about it while we are together; he says he doesn't want to 'put me in the same compartment' as his fetish, I think he is keen to separate the two parts of his life. I'm wondering if that may be healthy for him to do that and whether anyone has successfully managed it?



    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    How do you feel about his desire for diapers? Do you think it's competition? Is it disgusting?
    I admit that im overwhelmed by it all, having never really come across it, and I am reluctant to involve diapers (as is he, very strongly). Im quite open minded though, and don't consider it disgusting - but when I read your post, I noticed the 'competition' part, and i'd never really thought about it that way, but I suppose to a certain degree you could call it that. If anything (as i said before), its he that doesnt want to put me in competition with it, I think.
    I hope this might give a bit more detail. Im not entirely sure how to make him comfortable, or if he wishes to separate it - how to do that as well. Any further advice would be amazing
    thanks G x

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