Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22

Thread: Overcoming shyness and how to approach people/talk to people?

  1. #1

    Question Overcoming shyness and how to approach people/talk to people?

    I was wondering if any one has tips for overcoming shyness and how to start a conversation with someone. Something I've never been good at. I'd appreciate it if someone would be able to assist me with this.

  2. #2


    You may have social anxiety I'm not sure if you do but I sure have it big time.
    If you really want to get over it it helps to seek out a little help or just practice getting into social situations a little more often.
    Remember that nothing terrible is going to happen if you start a conversation with someone.

    I had trouble mostly with eye contact I don't know why but I don't like the feeling of someone staring me in the eye so I used to wear sun glasses quite often, it's silly but it just became my trademark for a while and it did help me talk to people.

  3. #3


    Ahh, my job is basically approaching random people and talking to them. I guess it comes naturally to me, but sometimes I do get a bit insecure after the nth idiot has told me to F off or said something mean to me.

    When I am feeling a bit sensitive, I find the best way is to just act confident, even if you're not. If people see you as a self assured, confident person then they're not going to mess with you. Smile, and breeze right up to them. The worst they can do is tell you to go away, which really isn't all that bad!

    Start with something fun and light, either ask them a question related to the situation their in, e.g. if you're in a shop, and see they're buying a lot of alcohol, ask them if they have a party going on that night.

    Keep things light and friendly, and if they look uncomfortable then just leave. Say 'right I'll leave you to get on with it then.' and away you go. It's seriously not that big a deal, speaking to new people.

    If you're being 'forced' to meet new people e.g. starting a new job, then have some fun crazy questions lined up. Last night when I was PR-ing I was asking people what their favourite type/brand of condom is. It makes people stop and listen to you, and can lead to some interesting questions. Of course if it's a new job, then maybe keep it a bit more clean than that, but something off the wall and fun will make people remember you more and think you're a fun and friendly person. Remember first impressions count, so make it a good one.

    Make sure you don't smell, and look happy and friendly. Make sure your clothes are acceptable, or at least passable, and that you've brushed your teeth so you don't have smelly breath!

    And most of all: JUST BE CONFIDANT!

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Talula View Post
    I find the best way is to just act confident, even if you're not. If people see you as a self assured, confident person then they're not going to mess with you. Smile, and breeze right up to them. The worst they can do is tell you to go away, which really isn't all that bad!

    And most of all: JUST BE CONFIDANT!

    People who think they know me would tell you that I am a very well adjusted and confident person who fears little and has never met a stranger. The people who actually know me realize thats all just my shell.

    It all about confidence. You have to find something that makes you feel like a little badass and try to channel that. Stop trying to out think yourself and cut yourself down. The cycle of shyness can lead to loneliness and self loathing and that just doesn't end well.

  5. #5


    I have been like that my whole life, I'm still very shy around people, I guess I will never get over it.

    Being drunk worked for a little while, but you do sober up and your back to where you were, and staying drunk is not a good option.....

  6. #6


    I can certainly relate to your situation. I've always been kind of shy but not as much as I used to be. I still have issues with approaching people and striking up a conversation. I just recently lost a job I had at an office supply store because of my introvert personality. I've learned to accept it but at the same time finding a job that suits me has proven to be a challenge. It isn't easy for shy people to be productive members of society but there are ways to get around that. I communicate much better in writing than I do talking, it allows me to get all my thoughts out without going blank.

    I know for me I tend to get more energy by having alone time. I still enjoy getting out an socializing every now and then but it gets tiring for me. If I hang around someone for too long I get irritated by their presence, especially when they like to do stuff that I don't like to do. I had a buddy awhile back stay with me for a couple weeks before he moved out of state. I thought it would be cool to have him over for two weeks but after about a week he just started to get to me. Quiet/Alone time is good for me personally.

    Also one thing I learned is that people in general pretty much suck!

  7. #7


    I've suffered from severe social anxiety ever since I was a small child.

    I'm still not completly over it, but now I can be considered just "shy" rather than someone who would totally break down during social situations.

    What helped me actually (besides lots of therapy xD) was talking to people online. It probably sounds weird but it's so much easier to be yourself online. It's less scary, and if you get rejected or anything like that, it's so much easier to recover.

    What I tend to do in social situations in real life, is wait for a good moment to talk to someone. Maybe they bring up a subject that you could put some input in to. Maybe they are wearing an article of clothing you like and you can bring that up. Or see them doing something that you are also interested in. You could start up a conversation about the enviornment you are in. (ie. if it's noisy, you could be like 'boy it's noisy" and start a conversation from there, or if you're in a classroom, you could talk about the subject of the class to the person/people near you)

    A lot of people use small talk. I tend not to do that much since I find it completely pointless and easy to screw up, but it might be a good idea if you have no other choices.

    Shyness and anxiety are hard things to get over, but with a lot of practice (Practice is VERY important) you'll get gradually better at it.

  8. #8


    I'll get up and dance in front of a group of people I don't even know, but when it comes to someone whose cute I totally can't do it... at least not for a little.

    OP: are you afraid of being rejected or something? Why do you find it hard to start conversations with people?

  9. #9


    Basically, my job is in a technical support call center.. I am a manager and talk to people every day (agents, angry customers, customers that haven't got their issues resolved after 2 hours, etc) I am good at this job but could never do this face to face. The reason I seem to have issues talking to people is because I don't normally have a subject for conversation. That seems to be the problem here.. I've had a girlfriend break up with me "because I didn't have enough to talk about" I've never been a guy that could keep someone's attention.. I consider myself a boring person..

  10. #10


    Yes I can talk to someone all day long about cars, but when it comes to anything else I am at a loss for words.

Similar Threads

  1. Why are people annoyed by innocent people?
    By Calico in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 10-Jul-2009, 15:02
  2. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 23-Dec-2008, 22:03
  3. People come and Go
    By baby_mike in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 12-Apr-2008, 01:34
  4. People will believe anything
    By chevre in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 31-Mar-2008, 14:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.