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Thread: How did I become a DL?

  1. #1

    Lightbulb How did I become a DL?

    How did I become a DL?
    Hmmm, I had as about a normal upbringing in a very normal family as any. Never abused, parents never divorced, parents loved all 6 of their children, I felt loved at home. Very religious with an understanding of who I am as a Son of God. I am a College Graduate with a B.S. in Electrical & Computer Engineering, and Physics Minor. I am a highly successful Digital Design Engineer, and have been wearing diapers since the age of 14. I am currently 42.

    How did this all start? I have asked myself that question many a times. It is all convoluted. I canít put an exact finger on a timeframe but I believe there are several factors that led me to start wearing diapers, Insecurity being at the top of the list.

    When I was young, perhaps 12 years old, my parents left us alone for the first time with babysitters as they left on a week long vacation. Seems that every night I wet the bed. I guess I was anxious, and longed for my parents. To counteract the bed wetting from ever happening again, I would make sure every last drop of pee was out of me at bedtime. Sometimes this would take 10-15 trips back and forth to the bathroom. The eventual development of OCD added more to my mental anguish. At bedtime OCD eventually controlled my life. Each day I would dread having to go to bed due to the OCD ticks going off in my head. I had to make sure everything was locked up, water off, no pee within me etc. Sometimes it would take 1 to 2 hours to get to bed. Partly on account that I had to use the restroom a lot, a nervous tick no doubt. Well when you are in a family of 6, your siblings can be cruel. I was teased a lot for OCD and making frequent trips to the restroom. I don't blame my brothers and sisters one bit. They were just being siblings. Now that we are all older I have a great relationship with all my siblings. Teasing is just what kids do.

    I remember when a free adult diaper came in the mail, Depends. I thought it was an answer from God. My mind started working. It was a solution to escape the teasing. And it worked. We still had cloth diapers around the home, (my mom was old school - all 6 kids in cloth) so the diapers were in abundance. And since I was old enough I washed them myself without anyone knowing. My mom caught them in my room onetime, and asked me if everything was fine and I said yes. She never asked again.

    It was never a sexual thing per say. Adolescence was a very confusing time. I didnít speak to my parents about sex, drugs or rock n roll. You can kind of figure things out as you go.

    I found that wearing diapers was a way to escape from being teased, perhaps, taking me back to a time in which I felt secure and protected. My night times were less stressful, I wasnít teased as much and I was able to get to bed sooner. This outweighed the fact of ever getting caught something I never really planned on. First law I lived by: Donít ever get caught. I was already teased, this would just be added ammunition.

    However, I was ultimately teased by others until I was in 9th grade. Quite honestly I don't know why. I had friends, felt loved by my family (besides the teasing), but I was too easy going and an easy target for ridicule. I didnít date much; Iíd rather be playing video games. I liked girls (still do, married my best friend), just was always nervous around them.

    To this day I love wearing diapers. I wear them around the house. Only my wife knows. I work from home, but when I go into work, I wear them to work. They take me to a place that is stress free; a place where I can relax. I feel more like me when I am wearing a diaper. I think I would feel differently if I was truly incontinent. The fact that I have the freedom of choice allows me to control being a DL or Not. We all want Freedom, without it, we feel Confined.

    I know that there are a lot ways to relax without wearing diapers; maybe someday I will practice them. However, diapers are so much a part of my life, very much like drinking water.
    My wife accepts it. (See ďI told my wife Iím a DLĒ) She knows how much I was teased as a child, and to me diapers took me to an area of security, a sense of oneness with myself. I felt/feel protected, even to this day. I don't wear diapers 24/7. I am a very active person, which does not necessarily lend itself to a 24/7 lifestyle. I wear them a lot at night, and during the day around the home, on a date with my wife or out shopping.

    I guess I could spend a lot of money with a psychologist trying to sort all of this out, but why? I am a highly functional individual, don't regret the past, love the present, and look forward to the future. My wife accepts me 100% for who I am. Jokes with me about the issues. Winks at me across the room when a carefree diaper comment is heard (our little hidden secret). I don't feel judged nor criticized.

    Someday my wife may change me, but not because she wants me to change for her, but because I have found a solace, a place of refuge, in the arms of her embrace. As for now she just wants me to be me, and this is who I am.
    A DL.

  2. #2


    It's most likely a mental fixation just like any other fetish out there. It doesn't have to be sexual, but it certainly will be with you for the rest of your life. Just as you said, it has something to do with your upbringing and past life. Personal daily experience is what shapes a person after all. In my case, wearing diapers is a form of release.

  3. #3


    I have to say I was converted to the wet side by my other Darker half.

    I put on my first diaper about 6.5 years ago, because he asked me to do so for his sake.
    Now it has become like just another form of clothing that I put on every day.

  4. #4


    Thank you. I enjoyed your post very much. It put me at ease because I've been wearing lately and I thought maybe it was a bad thing. It's not. Why would it be? I became AB/DL because of circumstances in my family when I was very young. AB/DL is a part of my identity. I like that you have accepted what you cannot change, at least for now, as you've said. I think I can too.

    Thanks again,

  5. #5


    i think you explained me i have no idea how it started! im 14 and it started about 1 month ago. that is all and also

    i dont know.......

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