How did I become a DL?
Hmmm, I had as about a normal upbringing in a very normal family as any. Never abused, parents never divorced, parents loved all 6 of their children, I felt loved at home. Very religious with an understanding of who I am as a Son of God. I am a College Graduate with a B.S. in Electrical & Computer Engineering, and Physics Minor. I am a highly successful Digital Design Engineer, and have been wearing diapers since the age of 14. I am currently 42.
How did this all start? I have asked myself that question many a times. It is all convoluted. I canít put an exact finger on a timeframe but I believe there are several factors that led me to start wearing diapers, Insecurity being at the top of the list.
When I was young, perhaps 12 years old, my parents left us alone for the first time with babysitters as they left on a week long vacation. Seems that every night I wet the bed. I guess I was anxious, and longed for my parents. To counteract the bed wetting from ever happening again, I would make sure every last drop of pee was out of me at bedtime. Sometimes this would take 10-15 trips back and forth to the bathroom. The eventual development of OCD added more to my mental anguish. At bedtime OCD eventually controlled my life. Each day I would dread having to go to bed due to the OCD ticks going off in my head. I had to make sure everything was locked up, water off, no pee within me etc. Sometimes it would take 1 to 2 hours to get to bed. Partly on account that I had to use the restroom a lot, a nervous tick no doubt. Well when you are in a family of 6, your siblings can be cruel. I was teased a lot for OCD and making frequent trips to the restroom. I don't blame my brothers and sisters one bit. They were just being siblings. Now that we are all older I have a great relationship with all my siblings. Teasing is just what kids do.
I remember when a free adult diaper came in the mail, Depends. I thought it was an answer from God. My mind started working. It was a solution to escape the teasing. And it worked. We still had cloth diapers around the home, (my mom was old school - all 6 kids in cloth) so the diapers were in abundance. And since I was old enough I washed them myself without anyone knowing. My mom caught them in my room onetime, and asked me if everything was fine and I said yes. She never asked again.
It was never a sexual thing per say. Adolescence was a very confusing time. I didnít speak to my parents about sex, drugs or rock n roll. You can kind of figure things out as you go.
I found that wearing diapers was a way to escape from being teased, perhaps, taking me back to a time in which I felt secure and protected. My night times were less stressful, I wasnít teased as much and I was able to get to bed sooner. This outweighed the fact of ever getting caught something I never really planned on. First law I lived by: Donít ever get caught. I was already teased, this would just be added ammunition.
However, I was ultimately teased by others until I was in 9th grade. Quite honestly I don't know why. I had friends, felt loved by my family (besides the teasing), but I was too easy going and an easy target for ridicule. I didnít date much; Iíd rather be playing video games. I liked girls (still do, married my best friend), just was always nervous around them.
To this day I love wearing diapers. I wear them around the house. Only my wife knows. I work from home, but when I go into work, I wear them to work. They take me to a place that is stress free; a place where I can relax. I feel more like me when I am wearing a diaper. I think I would feel differently if I was truly incontinent. The fact that I have the freedom of choice allows me to control being a DL or Not. We all want Freedom, without it, we feel Confined.
I know that there are a lot ways to relax without wearing diapers; maybe someday I will practice them. However, diapers are so much a part of my life, very much like drinking water.
My wife accepts it. (See ďI told my wife Iím a DLĒ) She knows how much I was teased as a child, and to me diapers took me to an area of security, a sense of oneness with myself. I felt/feel protected, even to this day. I don't wear diapers 24/7. I am a very active person, which does not necessarily lend itself to a 24/7 lifestyle. I wear them a lot at night, and during the day around the home, on a date with my wife or out shopping.
I guess I could spend a lot of money with a psychologist trying to sort all of this out, but why? I am a highly functional individual, don't regret the past, love the present, and look forward to the future. My wife accepts me 100% for who I am. Jokes with me about the issues. Winks at me across the room when a carefree diaper comment is heard (our little hidden secret). I don't feel judged nor criticized.
Someday my wife may change me, but not because she wants me to change for her, but because I have found a solace, a place of refuge, in the arms of her embrace. As for now she just wants me to be me, and this is who I am.