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Thread: Does anyone else have a friend like this?

  1. #1

    Default Does anyone else have a friend like this?

    Well this is what I am wondering. Today a long time friend of mine (12 yrears to be exact) and I went to best Buy. I walked around with him to go check out all the stuff that he wanted to check out. I then say I want to look at iPod car adapters. He replied with "No, fuck that you don't need one" in an annoyed angry tone. He followed me over there and I was looking around the MP3 section and he was like

    "Hey are you fucking stupid, you aren't even looking in the right spot, they are over here"

    They were there and I looked at it, he instantly starts criticizing the brand and telling me how much it sucks. So I look at the thing and decide that I am not going to get it, since I didn't particularly like and and for the fact that I could get the same brand $10 cheaper at wal mart. He then precedes to start harassing me about wasting his time looking at it, and how I am too cheap not to buy it here, etc.

    So, we go back to his house and while there he decides he is going to play his PSP and just basically shun me out of what he is doing, thank goodness I had my itouch on me. He plays PSP for awhile, then decides to basically act as if I wasn't there.

    After an hour there I decide that it is 10 PM, I wanted to go home so I could go to sleep to get up for work in the morning. At that point he starts asking me
    "Why do you go to bed so early"?
    "Because I wanted to be well rested for work tomorrow" I replied

    He gets pissed at me for wanting to go home to sleep

    "You don't even do anything at work" He says, "I go to bed at 2 and wake up at 6 everyday during the week".

    I basically tell him "Okay, well you are a person that can do that, I can't, I wish to go home now".

    His mom comes in to say "Hey, take him home, he has to go to work tomorrow".

    "Why do you go to bed so early" He asks me again.
    "Because that is what you do when you have a job"! His mom lashes back at him.

    ------------------------------------

    This is not just a new act by him, he has always been like this really, so I know he wasn't like having a bad day or anything. I am really the only friend he hangs out with, so maybe he just likes spending time with me and that is why he doesn't want me to go, but idk...

    Do any of you have a friend that is like this, or can offer me any advice as to why he may have acted like this tonight and in the past?

    -Thanks

  2. #2

  3. #3

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Raad View Post
    The real question is why you are even friends with him.
    There is no simple answer to that question, in fact it is one which my psychologist and I are trying to piece together right now.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raad View Post
    The real question is why you are even friends with him.
    Yeah, it's something you need to experience to understand. It's a sort of symbiotic relationship. One person takes everything while the other gives. I recently got out of that kind of thing, not because we stopped being friends but he somehow suddenly realized that he was being an asshole and stopped. I wasn't perfect either, but he was a flat-out asshole a lot of the time. Saying "Just don't hang out with him" doesn't work because for some reason you feel a need to be around him. Even though he makes you feel like shit there is something about being around him that is comforting. I don't know, but that's what it was like for me.

    Maybe I'm completely off base on this, but it sounds a lot like what I went through. Read "The Kite Runner". You will probably feel a strong attachment to Hassan.

  6. #6

    Default

    Kind of. I don't find them giving me shit like that, unless I piss them off first. Then again, I don't spend a lot of time with friends outside of school, anyways.

    Try getting angry at him. If you're the only person he hangs out with and you get angry at him, he might realize how much he needs you as a friend... Or something like that.

    Just throw in some sarcastic comebacks here and there. When he criticizes you, point out that it's not his f*cking decision and he should stfu, kthx. (In a friendly manner, if you will) Or ignore him and buy it anyways. Throw his own tricks back at him. If he plays PSP, tell him you're bored and pester him to do something. If not, go home. If he asks why next time, ignore him or say something like, "Because I'm bored."

    idk, that's honestly what I would do. Not sure how to answer your question any better than that.

  7. #7

    Default

    My first best friend of 14 years was a total dick, I was only friends with him because he was the only kid across the street.
    If we stayed together longer than two days we would literally be at each others throats and beating the hell out of one another.
    He basically called me a faggot and cut ties with me when I came out of the closet.
    I was still at his house when I told him so when I went to pack up my stuff I couldn't help myself and I stole this Venom action figure of his that he constantly boasted about and never let me touch.

    I don't feel bad for stealing it either, I look at it as payment for 14 years of lies.

  8. #8

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage

    Default

    I wouldn't have a person in my life that I allowed to treat me like that and still call a "friend". I have a boss that treats me like that (she gets away with it because of her position), but I don't consider her a friend.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Zephiel View Post
    Yeah, it's something you need to experience to understand. It's a sort of symbiotic relationship. One person takes everything while the other gives. I recently got out of that kind of thing, not because we stopped being friends but he somehow suddenly realized that he was being an asshole and stopped. I wasn't perfect either, but he was a flat-out asshole a lot of the time. Saying "Just don't hang out with him" doesn't work because for some reason you feel a need to be around him. Even though he makes you feel like shit there is something about being around him that is comforting. I don't know, but that's what it was like for me.

    Maybe I'm completely off base on this, but it sounds a lot like what I went through. Read "The Kite Runner". You will probably feel a strong attachment to Hassan.
    Almost like you develop a dependency on them, since you have been around them for so long and what not. I think you hit the nail on the head with this one here.

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