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Thread: FOR INCONS: how much actual control...

  1. #1

    Default FOR INCONS: how much actual control...

    FOR INCONS: how much actual control DO you have? In other words, besides the unwanted wetting, can you still sit on a toilet and 'pee intentionally'?

    ** Personally I have very limited control over this but can manage some. Usually tho right after i stand up there is some more that comes out or I end up going a few mins later anyway.

    For anyone else: this thread is very likely to have graphic comments made but due to the nature of the topic.
    Last edited by kitsiulla; 23-Apr-2010 at 14:32.

  2. #2
    Butterfly Mage


    My incontinence isn't too bad. Mine is more of the "urge" variety because it gets painful to hold in bladder control. Also, I seem to dribble after urinating.

  3. #3


    I am profoundly urinary incontinent. This means my urinary sphincter leaks badly. Normally my urine flows in frequent small dribbles that I do not feel.

    I consider myself fortunately that I do have good bowel control. Shortly after major meals I remove my diaper to use a toilet. While pooping into the toilet I also usually wet some. Only when sick in bed do I sometimes lose bowel control.

    Although I do not feel it directly when I wet and I have no control over that, years of experience lets me predict accurately my total urine flow during a given period of time. I schedule my diaper changes accordingly. Also when I can do so discreetly I check the status of my diaper by gently squeezing it.

  4. #4


    For me it depends on my little nerve friend. It's kind of strange, there are times when i just wont pee at all (thankfully thats only happened like twice, and only one i needed a cath), times where i can control it but the sensitivity is like super dulled. Right now i cant really feel much in the way of how much im holding and if i forget myself (or im sleeping) my bladder will just kind of let go. I never could figure out why the dr's couldn't figure out what was up lol. Usually though i can sit on the toilet and force myself to go though. What i found though with me is that the longer my bladder is just kind of running by itself the weaker things get in there... so every time i start to get feeling back its almost like re-potty training in a sense.

  5. #5


    My b/f had a radical prostatectomy for cancer, and constant dribbling was a problem in the beginning. He gradually improved, dribbling less and suffering just stress incontinence– urine squirts out when he sneezes, coughs, or laughs hard (stress incontinence is also common among women after bearing children). Eventually, he's hoping to make a full recovery. (He's not keen on diapers; he uses pads and looks forward to the day it's no longer an issue.)

    As for me, I'm regularly fine. However, after peeing (using the toilet), my bladder occasionally doesn't fully empty and when I stand up, after a few seconds, my bladder will release the rest for me. When this first happened, I ended up with damp panties a few times; I've learned to sense when this is going to happen, so I just hover over the toilet as I stand and let it do its thing. Unfortunately, I've forgotten what the doc called this so I can't give you a name.

  6. #6


    Angela, I sympathise with your bowel loss. I can't imagine having less control there than I do now. Only rarely will I have an accident. The only 'problem' is a once in a while 'wetness' that bugs the *forgive the pun* crap out of me more for the smell than anything. I think it has to do with the wet/warm around it maybe relaxing the outer sphincter? As far as expelling, the only way I can tell is feeling the trickle crawling around and added warm and pressure from the diaper expanding.

    Peri - I try to always 2nd guess if i'm going to still expel when i stand up. Do you have it where you stand and leak, then try to sit back down and it stops only to start again when you stand? It's like playing some kind of frustrating game. When I'm wearing pull-ups I pretty much just pull everything up as far as i can then stand up and quickly and forget about it but without pull-ups on it's downright agrivating. I did learn one little trick that helps sometimes but i'm pretty sure it'd only work for guys.

    mccracker - is there a certain 'inside muscle group' you try to focus on for when you expel sitting down? I know it's hard to describe. I try to basically do a "mental sweep" of all the groups and it's like it'll trigger it. I'm curious if there's a certain area to focus on. If I just keep doing the 'diaphram contraction' then it feels like i'll never get off the pot because i keep feeling like there's another bowel movement trying to pass then nothing but pain after.

  7. #7


    I have urge incontinence--it seems to be that my problems are neurological in nature and as such are even harder for the doctors to figure out. When my bladder decides it's full (whether it is all the way full or not) the sphincter will let go and totally empty the contents.

    What I can do is if I try, I can try to release any contents in my bladder when I'm on the toilet, so I could try tp keep from using diapers, but timing it would be tough. I gave up trying long ago.

    I don't have much trouble with bowel control, though I have had a few times when I've been really sick or stressed out where I've lost control. That is NOT fun.

  8. #8


    TB Chris, thank you for the sympathy.

    However, as I wrote I do have bowel control, except when I am really so sick I have difficulty getting out of bed.

    Of course I real sympathy to everyone who is bowel incontinent.

  9. #9


    Chris, as far as trying to get myself to go it depends a lot on the situation. Like the 2nd time i couldn't go at all it took some effort (and almost having to punch myself in the stomach) but i was able to push in where the sphincters should be and was able to get a small and growing flow going. If im doing ok and im just not feeling it its sort of like I have to almost clench my stomach up and i can go. Lately i have been getting lucky and being able to relax and go like normal just minus the feeling.

    ---------- Post added at 03:32 AM ---------- Previous post was at 03:28 AM ----------


    It looks like i misread you and your talking about bowel issues, something I thankfully don't have. However if you cant go at all its really best not to force yourself. I found out the hard way that that leads to roids, surgery, and freaking lasers crammed into your rectum. Even with my anatomy i don't know very much about what controls those muscle groups. Also if its a bit hard you can use a fleet and massage your stomach a bit to break up whats in there or take miralax... that one was a life saver.

  10. #10


    I have 0 control over both bladder and bowel movements. I feel slight pressure, then end up messing myself. As for urinary, well, i leak all the time.

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