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Thread: Life Dilemma

  1. #1

    Default Life Dilemma

    Not really looking for specific advice, just need to tell someone....

    Here's my situation:

    - I'm in my 4th year of college, but will need at least one more semester before I can get a degree.
    - I went to an expensive state college for 2 years and then moved back home and took 2 years at a technical institute.
    - I'm bisexual, a furry, and a DL - my parents know about none of these.
    - I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life
    - I've changed majors from Chemistry, to English Ed., to Psychology, to computer programming.
    - I'm nearly 23 years old and still live at home.
    - I work part-time (~15 hours/week) at a gas station and make less than $600/month.
    - I live in the midwestern US, where unemployment is insane.
    - I have pretty much no marketable job skills.

    At this point, I'm really just living to continue living. I feel as though I have no real purpose or drive. My life is completely boring and stagnant, and it's driving me insane. I am nearly failing 2 of my courses (out of 3) and I can't bring myself to even care enough to get a tutor.

  2. #2

    Default

    Do you like what you are studying? (be honest w/ yourself)

  3. #3

    Default

    I know you said you were not looking for advice but sometimes hearing another opinion can really help clear you're mind. First of all lemme just congratulate you for making it so far without cracking or breaking down, it is really rough trying to "jump" start getting a new life a career ect moving out of parents house. I think however you need to just sit down and clear your head try to visualize what you want to do with yourself...even if you lack the motivation to think about it, you could write a list of pros and cons of different majors. In my psychological opinion you should approach this matter with gentle care and be delicate with it, try to focus on a tiny section of your life rather then focusing on the big huge picture.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Manveru View Post
    Not really looking for specific advice, just need to tell someone....

    Here's my situation:

    - I'm in my 4th year of college, but will need at least one more semester before I can get a degree.
    - I went to an expensive state college for 2 years and then moved back home and took 2 years at a technical institute.
    - I'm bisexual, a furry, and a DL - my parents know about none of these.
    - I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life
    - I've changed majors from Chemistry, to English Ed., to Psychology, to computer programming.
    - I'm nearly 23 years old and still live at home.
    - I work part-time (~15 hours/week) at a gas station and make less than $600/month.
    - I live in the midwestern US, where unemployment is insane.
    - I have pretty much no marketable job skills.

    At this point, I'm really just living to continue living. I feel as though I have no real purpose or drive. My life is completely boring and stagnant, and it's driving me insane. I am nearly failing 2 of my courses (out of 3) and I can't bring myself to even care enough to get a tutor.

    Alright, bro, here's the deal, bro: stay in college, bro; move out west where the technology field is, bro.

    Working in a gas station is still money, bro. Don't worry about what you want to do, bro, just do what makes you happy, 'kay, bro?

    Oh, and bro, totally, like, get the hell out of the midwest, it's not safe for a bro to be out there being a bro. And a degree is marketable, bro. Your brouality and other broisms like being a furry aren't your parents bro-business, alright, bro?

    Get through college, bro, and things will be, like, cool, bro.

    STAR WHALES.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by krebstar View Post
    Do you like what you are studying? (be honest w/ yourself)
    No, I really don't. And that's one of the problems. I get really passionate about something for a short time and then I just stop. I know if I try I can do well but I have no urge to try, so I don't.

  6. #6

    Default

    If you haven't already I would schedule a meeting with your counselor at your college, and hopefully you will receive some guidance to help you find your way in the world.

    One of my best friends was having a hard time figuring out what he wanted to do with his life. After he went to his counselor he was able to find a career path better suited to his interest.

    It's worth a shot.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Manveru View Post
    Not really looking for specific advice, just need to tell someone....

    Here's my situation:

    - I'm in my 4th year of college, but will need at least one more semester before I can get a degree.
    - I went to an expensive state college for 2 years and then moved back home and took 2 years at a technical institute.
    - I'm bisexual, a furry, and a DL - my parents know about none of these.
    - I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life
    - I've changed majors from Chemistry, to English Ed., to Psychology, to computer programming.
    - I'm nearly 23 years old and still live at home.
    - I work part-time (~15 hours/week) at a gas station and make less than $600/month.
    - I live in the midwestern US, where unemployment is insane.
    - I have pretty much no marketable job skills.

    At this point, I'm really just living to continue living. I feel as though I have no real purpose or drive. My life is completely boring and stagnant, and it's driving me insane. I am nearly failing 2 of my courses (out of 3) and I can't bring myself to even care enough to get a tutor.
    Wow... Sounds like a completely normal 23 year old. Believe me, there are tons of people in your shoes; Probably more in your situation than not.

    Are you healthy?

    Do you have a roof over your head and food to eat?

    Do you have people that care about you?

    If you can say "yes" to the above, you're doing better than millions of people around the world... Take solace in that and appreciate it. It really is a reason to be happy.

    The other stuff is much more minor...

    - I'm in my 4th year of college, but will need at least one more semester before I can get a degree.

    - I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life

    - I've changed majors from Chemistry, to English Ed., to Psychology, to computer programming.

    Cool! Not only are you just like many of your peers, but you've got the hardest part behind you! Pack whatever you need into one more semester and get it over with. If you can't decide on what you want to do/major in, get a generic degree such as business management or computer science. You can always go back to school and take classes to specialize in a certain area.

    - I'm bisexual, a furry, and a DL - my parents know about none of these.

    And your parents don't need to know. You're an adult, and they don't need to know intimate details of your sexuality or personal hobbies. The bisexual thing and coming out to the 'rents will come with time, and usually is prompted by a serious relationship. I waited until I was 27 to tell mine, and had no reason to tell them prior, but a serious relationship changed that, and I wanted my partner to integrate with my family. Before, it was just something I explored on my own.

    As far as being a DL and a Fur, try to look at it as a virtue... Something you would be missing out on if you weren't inclined to participate in such hobbies, and embrace it! The Fur community is pretty awesome, and so are the majority of ABDL people out there. It's a great thing to be a part of, regardless of the good feelings you get when you partake.

    - I'm nearly 23 years old and still live at home.

    Cool! Great way to save $, and focus on finishing school. You and millions of other smart people are doing this instead of struggling with full time school and a full time job (or two) so they can have money for rent, food, insurance, car payments, gas, etc. Consider yourself lucky to be in a situation (and have willing parents) where that is possible.

    - I live in the midwestern US, where unemployment is insane.

    So after you graduate, work for a few months, and move. No place to work and stuck in a rut? Get the heck out of dodge. It might be scary to have to pick up and go to some place totally unfamiliar, but it also might be the best thing you ever do. I'm only 2 hours from where I grew up, and the job market is immensely better than at home, with much better pay. I also left behind the rut of doing the same thing every day... Work, mischief with friends, computer till early AM. Moving made me "grow up", I guess. Something I probably should've done before college.

    - I have pretty much no marketable job skills.

    I bet you do... You just need to sell yourself properly. Just the fact that you're pursuing a Bachelor Degree qualifies you for much better paying jobs than a gas station associate. Do you have a resum? If you were to pick one of the majors you've had, could you find work around where you currently live?

    Most importantly, in the long run...

    1. What field has the largest number of openings for satisfactory compensation (decent pay, benes, etc.)?

    2. What field can you grow in the fastest?

    3. Can you see yourself doing the same thing in 20 years?

    4. What do you want to do?

    You will figure out what you want to do. It might not be this week, and it might not be when you're 30... The idea (at least IMO) is to enjoy what you have now, and enjoy the fight to be a better person. Focus on getting those grades up fast, and don't give up now, even if you graduate with an undeclared major. You should be proud that you've completed the last 3+ years.

    Seriously... Focus on school. Forget about the fact that it sucks to be cooped up in the 'rents house, that you might have a boring job and social life, and just get it over with. It'll be the best decision of your life, trust me.

  8. #8

    Default

    1. Very few people your age know what they want to do with their lives. Of the few that think they know, most of them are wrong or are trying to do something for the wrong reason.

    2. You can write in complete sentences. I assume you can read as well. Even in technical occupations, the ability, willingness, and patience to read the instructions will put you at the top of most occupations. There's not THAT much original thought out there. Old stuff just get rearranged. Try reading Shakespeare if you doubt me.

    3. Even in technology, a lot of the ideas have been there for a long time. Think about da Vinci. He had the ideas 500 years ago. His ideas had to wait for capital accumulation, building of an industrial base, and materials sciences to catch up. Not that original ideas aren't important, but there's an awful lot of them already out there waiting for someone with the patience and perseverance to make them happen. Bill Gates is a moron compared to the people whose ideas he bought, stole, or marketed. Ideas aren't that hard compared to all the things it takes to make them happen.

    4. Living with mom and dad isn't the greatest, but it happens, especially in times like these. As we found out in the crash a couple years ago, most of the people you admired who had all the stuff didn't really own any of it. *Poof*

    Be patient, have faith in yourself, keep an open mind, and don't be afraid to take a leap if something really grabs you by the gonads. The people who talk the most usually have the least to offer. They're too busy yapping to be come up with anything useful. Something will find you if you don't find it first.

  9. #9

    Default

    Not many at your age knows exactly what they want to do, Please continue with your education until you figure out just what you want to do.

    You can get just a job doing anything to make ends meet, if you need to find a better part time job look for one but in this economy its going to be tough finding anything that pays well.

  10. #10

    Default

    Let's see what I can try and decipher of this.

    - I'm in my 4th year of college, but will need at least one more semester before I can get a degree.

    So what is preventing you? I know that at the point where you are, it can be tough. I am currently suffering from senioritis and cannot survive to see the fact that I have one month left in high school. All I can say is that one more semester can't hurt at the end of the day when you are handed the degree.
    - I went to an expensive state college for 2 years and then moved back home and took 2 years at a technical institute.

    Sometimes finances do become a factor. I will be surprised in myself on how I will enter a state college with currently no scholarships. I know that I can get scholarships but I have unfortunately been too lazy. It all depends on how you feel in your education at your current community college and how that is working.
    - I'm bisexual, a furry, and a DL - my parents know about none of these.

    I myself am bisexual and DL, but my mom does know that I am TB/DL and that I may be bi. This only can be resolved in how open you are as a bisexual and how you think your parents will view this. Sometimes it can be tough, but you are their son and that will never change.
    - I have literally no idea what I want to do with my life
    What interests you? I understand your issues with committing with one thing, but what exactly can you define that interests you. Now, can you imagine doing that for a career? I am majoring in Architecture in fall and yet I can see myself more as a rapper than an architect. Sometimes my personal dreams get ahead of me, but at least I have tried to focus myself as an architect, especially since that is my primary and most realistic career choice.
    - I've changed majors from Chemistry, to English Ed., to Psychology, to computer programming
    Has this been every year that you have changed careers? Well at least you have some expertise in a wide range of topics, which may help you in the future. But again with the topic above try and find something you truly like and attempt to commit.
    - I'm nearly 23 years old and still live at home
    I hate how the system of society works with this, but since you are still a college student, living at home is more of an asset since it would cost more to live on campus/apartment. I would probably say by 25 you should probably have a place of your own by then.
    - I work part-time (~15 hours/week) at a gas station and make less than $600/month
    At this time of economy, a job is a job. I have a job making 8.50 and see all my friends who still have to rely on their parents on money. If you pay bills on your own, then I can see how that can be an issue, but at this time, a job is a job and hopefully opportunities can come better for you.
    -I live in the midwestern US, where unemployment is insane.
    At least Minnesota isn't Detroit yet! This is all that I learn in AP Human Geography. But if you do plan to move out, anywhere in the East Coast (DMV to Boston) is a metropolis of many opportunities. If you plan to go into the technology field, there are vast opportunities in the West Coast, especially in the San Jose/Silicon Valley sector of California. However, there is a high cost of living in these parts, but anywhere in the West Coast of the US is pretty much the tech stronghold of the United States.
    - I have pretty much no marketable job skills
    You do have a lot of talents in many fields so far. Speak any foreign languages? Hard worker? These things do count.

    I apologize if any of my above statements seem offensive or pessimistic, but I feel that effort has to be given to accomplish what you are trying to do with your life. I hope that in a matter of time you can figure out what exactly you want to do with your life. Just remember that you only have one shot at life and just rule out that working hard to find out the one thing you truly want to do with your life is still better than forcing yourself into one field of career and suffering through it for the rest of your life. Its your decision and I do hope you can find that path that will make your life successful and happy.

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