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Thread: The Idea of Virginity

  1. #1

    Default The Idea of Virginity

    Here's a question that has been bothering me. So we were in my photo class were watching a show(one tree hill) and the girl was some form of born again virgin. I happened to make the comment that no matter what you say you either a virgin or not there is no in between and ounce it's gone it's gone. My teacher said virginity could be mentally reclaimed to which i replied no it can't.

    SO my question is where do adiscer's weigh in on this do you think virginity can be reclaimed? IS virginity merely an idea? As i stated before i don't believe it can be reclaimed through any ceremony despite what any one says.
    Last edited by d4l; 17-Apr-2008 at 00:33. Reason: fixed grammar/spelling

  2. #2


    um... no.

    virginity is a physical thing... not an idea...

    once the deed has been done... it's been done...

    okay... the only exceptions I could see to this are abuse & rape... that dosen't count.

    to lose your virginity it needs to be a willing experience...

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by Darkfinn View Post
    um... no.

    virginity is a physical thing... not an idea...

    once the deed has been done... it's been done...

    okay... the only exceptions I could see to this are abuse & rape... that dosen't count.

    to lose your virginity it needs to be a willing experience...
    You just contradicted yourself you can't have it both ways it is either a physical thing and can be lost by rape or is a mental thing and can be preserved even through forced intercourse.

  4. #4


    I said two exceptions...

    You can't do anything to stop abuse or rape... and actually most girls who are victims won't even mention it... so if a guy is their first willing partner odds are they won't mention other circumstances...

    I only say this b/c of related personal issues with someone who is very close to me... and I won't divulge further...

    It's a bit different if say someone slept around in high school and now that they are in college they've had a change of heart and decide that none of those other guys counted... ya can't change the fact that you were a skank and slept around...

  5. #5


    To me, the concept of virginity is a bit more than physical, but little more than conceptual, too. It blurs the line between the two of them; virginity is not just having your hymen broken, and virginity is not just having sex for the first time, either.

    To me, virginity is not an idea nor a physical aspect as much as it is a rite of passage, mentally and emotionally. Think of it like this: We celebrate birthdays, but without birthdays, wouldn't we still get older anyway? A birthday is a great concept that is followed up by a physical response -- the idea of aging compared to the physical action. Virginity is much like this. It's a novel idea of feminine right-of-passage, but the hymen will break at some point in your life anyway, whether through physical intercourse, advanced physical strain, or in older age, where it punctures on its own.

    Nowadays, because pre-marital sex is becoming so common, virginity has been provided the freedom of being an idea. I do truly believe that a woman who has been promiscuous and free with herself early in life, and then later on decides to abstain for her own safety and mental comfort, can become a virgin again through thought and self-conversation and the change of moral values.

    Secondly, with modern science, it actually is possible for the hymen not necessarily to be repaired, but "recreated", per se. This article discusses the clash in religious belief and modern science -- it's a bit surprising to look this deep into the subject.

    I believe, in the end, the decision is up to the woman -- she should not lie to herself, of course, and just call herself a virgin after she spreads her legs each time ... but if she wants to feel virgin again, then she can do so as well. This is a world too engendered to free reign of thought for us to be shackling ourselves behind physical barriers of impurity and mental ones that truly have no point.


    Here's a slightly nasty thought to spur on the conversation:

    If a woman refuses to have vaginal sex, but proliferates with anal sex time and time again...

    ... is she a virgin?

  6. #6


    I think that virginity can be reclaimed in your heart. For instance, if you become a born again Christian after you have had sex, you now know that it is a sin to have sexual relations before you are married. Now you regret having had sex and pledge to not have it until you are married.

  7. #7


    I believe basically what darkfinn believes. I think that virginity does involve not only breaking the hymen but also giving it up WILLINGLY. So I think if a girl gets raped BEFORE she has had consentual sex then, she is still a virgin. Except if a girl is promiscuous and wants to reclaim virginity, I think that is wrong. It is basically cheating, why should someone be able to do that. Plus thats false advertising to all your dating partners which is F**ked up! If I had sex with a girl and found out after she told me she was a virgin that she used to be promiscuous or even if she just did it once before without telling me, I would be pretty furious.

    Even though I believe she can claim it when she is rapped I still believe when she tells her partner that she is a virgin, that she also tells the person about her rape. Now I know some of you may say she may not be comfrotable enough to, well if thats the case then she should not be having sex yet. A psychologist would agree with that too.

  8. #8


    What an odd thread. Not so much the original question, which was just a bit odd, but nothing major for us, but the direction of the responses strikes me as most peculiar.

    First off, one might think from reading this thread that only a woman can be a virgin. I get the slut vs. stud dichotomy, but it's stupid and I would have thought such clever people here would be past that notion.

    My next thought: it's really sounding as if folks are thinking about virginity as some coveted prize to be attained, or like checking out the teeth on a horse. Maybe I'm just reading into things, and I certainly won't put words in anyone's mouth, that's just the vibe I'm getting. I wouldn't impugn someone's decision to wait for that someone special, but if someone exercises reasonable caution about their partners and makes use of proper protection, it's all pretty much the same to me.

    To the original question, I think the notion of reclaiming virginity is pretty ridiculous. I broke my nose in a stupid accident. No amount of wishing will ever make that unhappen. I got it fixed and it's pretty good and I can smell fine with it, but the fact remains that it was broken (and no, I'm not making allusions to hymens). If you've engaged in sexual activity, you're not a virgin. I suppose if you want to get all weirdly detailed about it, you could define your levels of virginity, but that seems pretty stupid to me as well, almost like saying you don't really drink alcohol because you only like gin. Pretty silly stuff.

  9. #9


    To me a born again virgin is a bunch of BS. You fool around around it will always be with you mentally and who ever was your first will ALWAYS be your first. They will also be the ones that have your virginity and no matter how hard you try it would be impossible to get back.

  10. #10


    I believe that virginity, much like Rance, is a tie between mental and physical aspects.

    Lets say I was raped. I had no choice in that, I didn't ask for it, and I didn't want it. If I have never slept around, and I don't believe in sex before marriage, is it fair for me to have to say now, "No, I'm not a virgin?" Well I think, yes, I am a virgin, I've been waiting to get married, and whether or not I had sex my mentality still tells me I'm not a virgin.

    Someone brought up a "Born Again Christian," I'm not too sure about that, but then again I'm not putting much thought into it at the moment.

    So like I said, virginity is a mix between a physical and mental thing.

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