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Thread: ABDL and LGBTQ

  1. #1

    Default ABDL and LGBTQ

    So here's something I've been wondering about for long time. How do you see ABDL and LGBTQ (or LGBT/GLBT, if that's how you call it) identities overlap? I'm not talking about being gay and also being an ABDL. What I really have in mind are the last two parts of the acronym, the T (transgender) and the Q (Queer). It seems to me like for some people, it isn't just happenstance that they are transgender or queer AND an ABDL, but sometimes the two are melded together. Having a transgender or queer identity is integrally bound with an adult baby or diaper lover identity in such a case.
    To use myself as example: diapers and regression are jointly a part of demasculinization and submission. They bring me both into a world of androgyny, which qualifies as gender variance, and a world of BDSM, which is often regarded as falling under the umbrella of queer sexuality.
    I know very little about sissies, but I could see that as also embodying a kind of transgender identity (but I could be totally off on that point).
    Another question is, do you think that those of us for whom being ABDL is sexual can justifiably call that a kind of queer sexuality and therefore identify as LGBTQ?
    I do think, though, that the ABDL community, in part due to its comparatively low profile, faces very different from the LGBTQ community, so I don't know -- it might be somewhat misleading to "jump on the queer bandwagon" so to speak, as if we get nearly as much flack as other people on account of our sexuality.

    Your thoughts?

  2. #2


    Queer isn't a sexuality, its a derogatory term. I, personally, don't care, but just be aware if you ever try to use it as a term to describe one's sexuality. I've honestly got no idea what your question is, you just kind of go around in a circle. But being gay has nothing to do with being submissive, if thats what you're asking.

  3. #3


    All these sexual acronyms are really starting to confuse me.

    Be that as it may, no. And as to that, how does BDSM instantly infer Homosexuality? That seems to go against much of what I've seen and known.

  4. #4


    I don't think that there's a necessary correlation at all, in my experience.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by sparkmaster View Post
    And as to that, how does BDSM instantly infer Homosexuality? That seems to go against much of what I've seen and known.
    No no no no -- that's explicitly what I DON'T mean. Let me clarify:
    First, to comment on Grizzy's post, "queer" is being reclaimed -- read the wikipedia article on it if it makes thing clearer. In my neck of the woods, it's no more derogatory than "gay." In fact, I'll be studying queer theory and queer literary criticism next year, and I can assure you that the professors at my *quite liberal* institution have no intention of offending anyone by the term.
    The LGBTQ community can be most broadly defined as the community of individuals whose sexual identities are not heteronormative (one man and one woman in a monogamous relationship), or whose gender identities do not conform to the normative concept of gender (masculine males and feminine females). The "LGB" part picks out non-heterosexual orientations, while "T" picks out gender variant identities (like transsexuality, androgyny, and genderqueer) while "Q", or queer, is a wider umbrella that basically serves to include anyone the other letters missed, like people who are polyamorous, pansexual, straight but in a utterly non-normative way, etc. Depending on who you ask, BDSM and fetishism will also fall under the umbrella of "queer."
    But I don't often see people thinking about being ABDL as placing one within the LGBTQ community. In addition to mere semantics, I have also noticed, as in my personal life, that transgender and queer identities are *sometimes* interwoven with ABDL identities, as in the case of regression drawing one into an androgynous sense of self, or when it combines with BDSM. So:
    1) Do you think being an ABDL means that one is a part of the LGBTQ community (obviously this doesn't apply to those for whom being an ABDL is neither sexual nor related to gender)?
    2) Have you seen transgender and queer identities interwoven with ABDL identities, and if so, how?

    Does that make it clearer, or does that just confuse it even more? I apologize if it's a little unclear what I'm getting at; it's something that makes sense to me, but I don't really get the chance to talk about.

  6. #6


    Let's start with the term 'queer' - which arose from meaning odd, different; the assumption behind the term being that there was a norm such people were different from. I have heard people - especially people over 70 - use the term with no insult meant; I have heard gay people chant "We're here, we're queer, get used to it." I have also heard others use it derogatively. It's a matter of context.

    I do know in some contexts gay implies being male - hence "queer" to include lesbians: two such contexts would be the acronym "LGBT" AND "queer literature/criticism."

  7. #7


    Am I the only one tired and hungry enough to read the thread title and for a split-second think "hey, a discussion about bbq! I love ribs!" only to be disappointed afterward?

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by bgi39jsjw0ggg View Post
    Am I the only one tired and hungry enough to read the thread title and for a split-second think "hey, a discussion about bbq! I love ribs!" only to be disappointed afterward?
    RoFL go eat!!!

    isn't BDSM bondage and sado/masochism? how is that gay?

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage


    Any overlap between abdl and gltb has got to be coincidental. After all, disposable diapers have only been around since the 1970s but gay people have been around as long as humanity.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    Any overlap between abdl and gltb has got to be coincidental. After all, disposable diapers have only been around since the 1970s but gay people have been around as long as humanity.
    What about fetishes about other baby paraphernalia such as plushies? Or for cloth diapers? How about 'strictly' ABDL people who don't care about the props much more as props, but like it for how it makes them feel babyish? You can't use the time disposable diapers were first being made to say that there can't be a correlation. Diapers in some sort have existed long before the 70s. And babies and children (to want to be a baby or a child the concept first has to exist) have existed longer still.


    I would say any apparent correlation between ABDL and LGBT (seriously, don't use queer, even if the term is being reclaimed as you said most people are not aware of this and it will cause offence) is more to do with people with one 'sexual difference' are more likely to become comfortable with other differences. If a person would otherwise follow a one man one women monogamous relationship without any sort of kinkiness involved then having one kink is more likely to frighten the hell out of them more than someone who has already gotten over being frightened to hell be being gay or whatever - once you've gotten over those feelings once it'd probably be easier to accept other things.

    There do seem to be some people where a gender identity and ABDL seem combined. Usually something like they only feel ABish when they are also being a girl. In most cases I don't feel that is the case, from what I have seen in the matters of transgender they tend to have the same gender concerns whether they being little, wearing diapers, or going about their every day lives. As for sissies, in some cases they are transgender, but in a lot of cases they like pretending to be girls with no concerns about their gender (in their head they remain male), they just like girly things or from humiliation or whatever they like being made to be a girl. With this last one, the fact they are male is part of what makes it so potent. It could also be a combination of all 3 of these.

    BDSM and the ABDL communities seem to have some overlap instead of awareness (I would like to say from my experience of BDSM communities the vast majority, at least of what you see online, is heterosexual male Dom/female sub or switches). I know of Dom/mes who use ageplay like things on their subs, and I know of a lot of people here who like ABDL, and are also involved in the BDSM scene in one way or another - most of those being submissives or switches - harder to be Dominant as a baby I guess. However the vast majority of people involved in one don't seem to be involved with the other more than a few slight overlaps - I know when I joined a BDSM forum most didn't know 'ABDL' though they knew of the concepts behind it and didn't mind the fact I was into it one bit.

    With any subject like this there are two things you have to remember - correlation does not imply causation, and people don't always like to talk about, or even admit to themselves, when it comes to deviations from the norm, especially sexual - and especially those bits which due to being less common than others get minimal coverage in the press. A lot of correlation comes from if you are willing to talk about the one you are more likely to be willing to talk about the others.

    Also - at the OP - your posts are very difficult to read. Try putting a line between paragraphs and in general consider reading through your posts again and seeing if you could improve clarity. I wasn't the only one who had difficulty understanding what you were asking about and it could really help.

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