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Thread: What The **** Is Ladylike? (Discussion)

  1. #1

    Default What The **** Is Ladylike? (Discussion)

    Before Reading: The title does come off a bit offensive, but it's a quote from a song. Storm Large - Ladylike

    I've had a somewhat (though really not) similar thread like this deep within the past. But, the topic has somewhat changed since then. I'd like to make it very clear I am not biasing any gender, as what I'm about to explain can happen with any gender.

    I'm sure all the ladies here have experienced this before, or at least see it around them.

    In relationships of any pair, why is it every so often a partner is very controlling? Why do they feel us women (hell, even men, but this is more geared towards ladies, guys!... You can still give your opinion ^^; ) should look a certain way? That we can only do certain things, or that we aren't allowed to be ourselves at all? What drives someone to be so possessive, controlling, etc?

    I'd like to discuss the following questions in this thread:

    What is ladylike in your opinion? Like, how should a woman act?
    Have you ever been in this situation? Or saw someone close in this situation?
    And, your opinion on the subject in general.

  2. #2


    Some people just have controlling personalities. I have a friend who doesn't ask me to hang out with him, he tells me. He also knew that I went on some website, so he started searching me on the internet until he found this site. It just his personality, and some people (me for example) are perfectly ok with that. I don't know if I could handle that kind of person in a relationship, but I would know that because I've never been in a relationship. I guess if you really don't want to be with a person like that just look for the early signs before hooking up.

  3. #3


    "Ladylike?" Whatever society seems to deem appropriate for a woman, I suppose... which is total BS. Although I approve of egalitarian relationships, I myself don't seek that specifically... although it wouldn't exactly be unwelcome. When you get right down to it, a woman is capable of doing anything a man can do...

    For instance, I had someone I talk to every now and then infer that swearing wasn't "ladylike" the other day at an inappropriate time; they did it in an effort to control me. So what did I do? I told them: "**** your "ladylike" ********." =P Some of the most modest ladies I know can swear like sailors; I usually only swear when I'm constantly provoked. (Or for emphasis at times [with good friends]... usually comedic emphasis.)

    Basically, I think gender roles are kind of silly, not to mention restrictive, but I won't argue against the idea that there are some things that seem to turn up more often than others. It really depends on what culture you're examining, actually.

  4. #4


    Meh, that's society for ya. If you're trying to say it's better off to be a guy, you're not going to be getting much sympathy for me. Men have 'rules' (or.. whatever they're called) to follow as well. We don't get to dress up and be pretty - we're supposed to be handsome, or look like a gentleman. We're the ones that are supposed to risk our dignity and pride asking women out or to marry us.

    Trying to figure out why society wants us to be certain things is beyond me. I don't get it. But that doesn't mean I don't conform to what they want because I don't want to be some outcast because I think I should be able to wear makeup and pretty underwear and dresses as much as a woman should be allowed to. (Well,... personally, I don't really want to... but others might?)

    Personally, I'd rather wear the skirt in this situation. Lol, what I mean is that I'd rather have guys think it's their duty to open doors for me or whatever being 'ladylike' entails. Of course, I'm quite passive, so it rather suits my personality. I feel like I have to be someone I'm not trying to impress women and live up to their standards.

    As of late, though, society is getting.. better? worse?, well, society is changing, and I think it's allowing women (and men, for that matter), to not have to conform to the standards that we thought were correct for so long. But, maybe that's just me seeing things through a guy's perspective.

  5. #5


    I'm sorry, Goose, but men definitely don't have as many social expectations as women... it's close, but not quite.

    Just be yourself... screw society's expectations. If you're not hurting anyone, what's the issue?

  6. #6


    The whole matter of being ladylike is a belief that dates back to ancient times. Men were expected to lead and women were expected to follow. And for the longest time as far as I can recall from various textbooks is that every successful civilization that has a written history has had a society that has followed such a belief almost to the letter. The only two possible exceptions are Sparta (women were treated nearly as equals; even the queen had absolute power when the king was gone), and the Vikings (again, same thing but women weren't allowed any kind of absolute leadership). Great civilizations have always done this; but with our new and changing world society, this belief is becoming very weak. Such books will be irrelevant in years to come.

  7. #7

  8. #8


    I do believe women should be ladylike, just like men should be gentleman. It's not so much a matter of fitting into your proper gender role, but acting in a decent, and respectable manner.

    As for me though, I like a controlling partner. I like being objectified, degraded, dominated, etc... Within my limits, of course.

  9. #9


    I agree that women should be ladylike. For me this means having basic manners, sitting with your ankles crossed when wearing skirts, etc. This might be because I was raised in the South and this is what we're taught to do.

    I do have to say though that I am the mild mannered, meek and shy one, but I control my relationships. That control is given to me based out of love and respect, not because I demand it. This goes against society's "norms".

  10. #10


    the gender roles of men lead women follow basicly extend to biology, and what we did as hunter gatherers, men hunted and showed off 'lekked' for the hand of the girl, and women gathered in groups, raised the kids, and picked who theyd mate with. while this doesnt mean that women shouldALWAYS be meek and dominated, the idea that we havent really gotten our minds out of being stone agehunter gatheres, does go a small way to explain the concept of being ladylake, ladylike essentially falls into these catagories asi see them,
    maintainence of appearence, as this 'barring modern, destrucive trends' indicates health and better chance of a good pregency,

    womens demureness and being discouraged from leading, warring or hunting is based in this SINGlE idea, in a group of say, 200 people do you REALLY want to have the ones who carry and make the children to, when theyre not, or maybe still pregnent, get themselves killed and reduce the next breading seasons pool of mothers, its just a BAD idea, and due to the fact that women seem to have emotional and physiological adaptations centred around raising a kid (mammaries, the maternally defensive/ protective instinct, theyre also, in the stone age setting, less suited to the things men would have been doing.

    hey, i know it ainst perfect, but the logic women and men are different and roughly are suited to certain worlds isnt that far off the mark, that said, modern society has proved that either men, or women can, and do take up position in each others traditional domains

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