I have to share this. Enjoy your new bed time story.
That was bloody gruesome. So adult.
I've seen horror movies.
Came across this a day or so ago, it's brilliant. Best bit is the back boil bit and the aftermath.
May I present Berserker Hell, a Warhammer fanfic - FanFiction.Net A lovely story about a Chaos Berserker from Warhammer 40k, who displease his undescrible Masters. For punishment he's sent to the 100 acre wood.
"Say," the creature said hopefully, "you wouldn't happen to have a smackeral of honey you'd like to share would you?"
Brakain activated his chain axe. He was being tested, he knew. He still had his weapons and that, he reasoned, could only mean that he had a chance to redeem himself in the eyes of Khorne. He hefted the screaming axe over his head and leapt to the attack.
"Blood for the Blood God!"
Just before the axe bit into the protruding tan abdomen, the creature looked up at Brakain with clear disappointment in his expression, "I'll take that as a 'no'." At the same time, something small and pink darted out from behind the bear and disappeared into the brush screaming, "ODEAR!ODEAR!ODEAR!ODEAR!ODEAR!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thank you. I thought it was brilliant as well as very creative. I love humor that's completely out of left field. I don't get why it's being called "adult". I guess I'm just use to far worse and loving it mind you.