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Thread: This is not a fetish

  1. #1

    Default This is not a fetish

    I have read numerous of forums were someone pleads for help on getting there spouse to understand there infantile needs. Most seem to end up in divorce because there spouse sees it as a fetish and wants nothing to do with it.

    Once someone sees something as a fetish. They don't want to know anything else about it and trying to convince them otherwise is almost if not imposable. To them it's a fetish and thatís all they want to know about it.

    As long as we continue to see and call infantilism a fetish. The public will not be willing to understand. This includes our spouses and family members. I do not see infantilism as a fetish. I see it as our way of coping or dealing with stress, loneliness etc.

    my wife sees infantilism as a form of regression. She agrees it is not a fetish.

    Another area that makes it hard for the public to except AB's is when all the public sees are AB fully dressed up as babies. This can be too much exposure adding to the fetish perception.

  2. #2
    GaashaHuzzah

    Default

    Technically, DL IS a fetish...

  3. #3

    Default

    For some people it is just regression, but for some people it IS a fetish.

    That's really all that needs to be said.

  4. #4

    Default

    Im AB. Im not sure about DL's.

    but I feel AB is not a fetish.

  5. #5

    Default

    Neither are implicitly a fetish, but both have the potential to become so.

    It is just like enjoying a beer every few months does not make one an alcoholic--but overusing beer to the effect of it supplanting your other life domains and activities WOULD be different.

    Also, I wish that people would stop using diagnostic terms as descriptors. That can cloud the issue greatly.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by h3g3l View Post
    Neither are implicitly a fetish, but both have the potential to become so.

    It is just like enjoying a beer every few months does not make one an alcoholic--but overusing beer to the effect of it supplanting your other life domains and activities WOULD be different.

    Also, I wish that people would stop using diagnostic terms as descriptors. That can cloud the issue greatly.
    To be honest, I think enjoying a beer every night doesn't make you an alcoholic. (Indeed, I have a beer just about every night, but I have more than one fairly infrequently.) Being unable to skip a night, or unable to stop drinking, would. As you say, if your drinking interferes with your ability to fulfil your responsibilities and have a social life, then you're an alcoholic. I think the same is true of nappies. Even if you wear every night, it's not a problem unless you're unable to skip a night, or you nappies start interfering with the rest of your life.

    As you say, H3g3l, a fetish specifically refers to an object without which a person cannot enjoy sexual satisfaction/gratification. For most of us who are DLs, nappies are a paraphilia, not a fetish.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by GaachanTheWench View Post
    Technically, DL IS a fetish...
    Where is your definition of a "fetish" coming from? This is important to outline, as its use is mixed and also attached to outcomes and attitudes.

  8. #8
    Loopygone

    Default

    I feel there are certian parts of it that are very much a fetish. For me anyways.
    You're trying to label everyone as the same. Don't. Each and every one of us is different in our approach, attitude, and what we want out of this "thing". Saying everyone who's an AB only does it for stress relief and dealing with lonelyness is silly. Just because thats what you use it for, doesn't mean the rest of us do.

    Doesn't matter what we label it as, the public still won't except it easily. Some people still can't accept the fact that there are gay people in the world, calling this something else won't change people.

    Misunderstanding spouses and divource.... I feel thats more due to the fact that the AB wasn't totally open with their partner before getting married. If people were more open before popping the question they might have better chance of acceptance, instead of dumping the "freak" card 5 years into a marrage. Its more about the lack of trust, then the actual fetish I feel.

    And the public seeing fully dressed up AB's, what do you suggest? We stop dressing up? Start acting "normal" so an unwilling public might accept us as uncrazy? When ever an AB ends up in the news, the news media will go for the most sensationalist approach, and for AB's thats usuall a fat old man in a sissy dress. Not a good looking guy in a sleeper.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mingus View Post
    Being unable to skip a night, or unable to stop drinking, would. As you say, if your drinking interferes with your ability to fulfil your responsibilities and have a social life, then you're an alcoholic. I think the same is true of nappies. Even if you wear every night, it's not a problem unless you're unable to skip a night, or you nappies start interfering with the rest of your life.
    Yep. I look at dimensions of duration and impact before diving in and using "fetish" or "paraphilia" or other terms that have diagnostic and descriptive implications.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Mingus View Post
    For most of us who are DLs, nappies are a paraphilia, not a fetish.
    This is one of the roots of the problem; most people believe the two terms are interchangeable.

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