I went through three fifths of vodka in the last week alone. I seriously need to stop drinking, and to stay off the liquor for good. I have proven to myself that I really cannot stop after one or two drinks if there is a bottle in my possession.
I just might be an alcoholic at this point.
So, I figure the first thing I need to do is to just simply stop going to the liquor store, to not purchase any more bottles. Oddly enough, there is a liquor store right next door to my apartment complex, which is too easy for me to walk into if I am feeling blue and thinking - "I'll just have a shot to calm my nerves and that'll be it". It never ends with one shot for me, though, I am very well aware of that now. I have to be disciplined enough to deny myself even that first shot. I need to be strong.
I wonder what I should do when the urge to drink strikes me, though, for when it strikes, it strikes hard.
I have little faith in AA, because I don't want to rely on a "higher power" to get through this. I need to find the strength within myself to get off the booze and stay off the booze. Heh.