Hi, my name's Dillon. I know a few people on here, but not many, since I haven't been on here (except occasions) in around 2 years. I figured I should post something, and since this is a decently interesting story, I figured I would answer: Why was I gone that long? I got caught, and the worst case scenario played out before my eyes. I don't expect sympathy, or anything else. This is just a turning point of my life (so far for the worst, haven't had much luck since.) keep in mind, some parts are hazy in my memory, so I may leave something out, since this happened about 2 years ago (it happened around September '08) The only thing I want out of this; if this causes at least one person, just one, to be more careful, and keeping them from facing humiliation from their family, then it will have all been worth it to me. I will tell it to the best of my memory (make sure u read it when u have time, cuz this is LONG!)
Summer of 08:
I had just gotten home from my dads house from the first part of summer, and I was relaxing, and everything was going good. Just last chrismas (in 07) I learned I was a tb, and I was making friends fast...
But at a price...
I couldn't see it then, but I was absolutely addicted to the Internet. I had a reason to be, I guess, since I was and still am very unpopular IRL (in real life), but I could hardly tear myself away from the computer. It was getting bad.
One night, I was talking to one of my more cynical friends, Jerry (not his real name!! All names in this story are altered to protect identities). He wanted me to meet his friend, Mike, because he was afraid he was starting to dislike him more and more. So I met him, and he was a nice person, at first. He asked me the usual questions I am asked by an ab, my ASL, if I'm an ab/tb or dl, if I wear for need or for fun, etc, etc. But when he got to that question, I said, "neither. Don't have them " and, being nice, said nobody should have to go without, and offered to buy me some diapers. Here was my first mistake: I took him up on his offer... I thought I could do it. He bought them and had them shipped to my house.
. . .
One saturday, while my parents were gone, the package came. I hurriedly snuck it into my room without anyone noticing anything. Then, at night, when everyone was in bed, I wore them for the first time. It was a great feeling! I felt great, probably the happiest I've been in my life. I got away with this for about a week, and then, I had my first accident: someone else sent me other stuff without me remembering, and my step dad opens it. He just figured it was stuff from when I was little and handed it to me. God was I lucky, nothing else was said!!
Thursday night, i was getting ready to see my dad the next day, and I forgot to get rid of evidence, because I was tired from packing. I fell asleep, and went to school, then to my dads.
It was a very stressful weekend. He yelled at me, I yelled at him, it didn't settle down till sunday, and then it was like nothing happened. And then, my dad got a call. I knew what it was before he said, "hello?" I knew what it was even before he picked up the phone. My mom caught me. Oh, what I would have given to turn back time! But it was too late, the damage was done. My dad talked to my mom for at most 30 seconds, and then hung up. "that was your mom" he said, "she said that there is something going on about you that I need to know about, so we are meeting at your moms new work. Anything you want to tell me now?"
I panicked. My heart skipped a beat, my insides felt like they were on fire, and I had a horrible stomach ache.I was in BIG trouble. We left fazoli's and my dad was prodding me to tell him, but I could only answer questions. He finally had a look of anger, disgust, and fear. He looked at me and said, "*bleep*(the GD word) *Dillon! Are you gay?!" shocked he would even ask me that, I said no. He asked me 3 more times, and when he was convinced I was straight, he let out a sigh of relief.
*I went to dads house, talked to one of my friends, and he said not to worry, it'll be ok, just to not tell him. Even if I knew it weren't true, I believed him. I needed to believe him. 2 hours after debating on how to tell him, I finally gave up on how to make it sound better. So I eventually gave up. I said, "OK, I'll give you one hint, Chick McGee", referring to the guy on the Bob and Tom radio show who pretends to be gay and an AB. He said, "I already asked If you were gay!" and after he said that, he figured out it wasn't that. He immediately said, "who cares? You aren't hurting anyone." at that very moment, it felt like a 500 pound burden was lifted off of my shoulders. I was blissfully ignorant of what was about to happen next though.
After a 2 hour drive, I got out of the car, and when I stood up, that burden and then some struck me immediately. I told my dad I was extremely uncomfortable doing this, and he looked at the ground and said, "Dillon, I know how hard it was for you to tell me what you told me, and we have a much better relationship than you have with your mom. So I'll make you a deal; I won't say anything. Whatever you say, I'll go along with, whether it's truthful or not." I thanked him, and I tried to think of a lie. But I couldn't. I didn't. It was a big mistake of mine to not act on his offer. I went in, and I sat down, and my mom started talking, and she sounded like she was crying, and she was. That's the first and only time I've ever seen her cry in my life. She brought out a diaper I used and showed my dad, and I was just shocked, to see her do that. I looked at it, and then at her. She had tears rolling down her face. "please... Tell me, what is wrong? Did someone molest you?"
*I looked in my lap and knew there was no way I could in good conscious lie to my mom right now. I was speachless, but I finally managed to utter something, "I... I don't know what to say..."
"The truth, honey." she said.
I couldn't do it. I knew I couldn't lie to her like this. I was at total loss for words. I just looked at my dad for help, as if I had lost the ability to speak. "do you want me to tell her?" my dad spoke up.
"Y-yeah. Tell her the truth." I was shaken by all of this. I wanted to go to bed really badly and forget about this. My dad began explaining all of it, better than I could have. And my mom was relieved. And my dad said we should take this into perspective, as this was my first adult problem. He also had me and my mom agree that what was said in this room, never left this room. So we agreed and mom took me home.
After a long time in walmart and driving around, I went home. Mom told me to take a shower. I did. Thus giving her time to scavenge through my room for stuff to throw away. She found it. Along with the information of the guy who sent it to me. I to this day am uncertian if it ever caught up with mike, the last time I talked to him he was very drunk and needed help. I pray he's alive out there somewhere, and getting the help he needed with his alchohal abuse.
Next school day, I stood after school. Due to my step dad and brother both getting new phones and new phone numbers, and my mom having no signal at work, I called my sister to pick me up. She called my step dad, and told him that she was picking me up. "Dont worry about it, I'm picking up your brother!" she still insisted on picking me up, but my stepdad got hateful and yelled at her and hung up. Apparently my sister got word from my brother of what was going on, and she raced to get here, but to only get there just too late. my mom took me to a therapist, Dr. Muhammad (Far from his real name!! Lol) and he asked what was wrong. I politely refused to tell him. He then admitted me into, what I call the "loony bin for teens", partially due to the fact I forgot the true name of the place. I got introduced to everyone, read the code of conduct for the place and when I was halfway through reading it, a guy with black, long hair stuck out his hand for me to shake and said, "Sup man, what are ya in for?"*To this day I joke about that place being jail because of that. I didn't tell him, and he said, "ok, that's cool. My names Chris, everyone's out here, so come out and introduce yourself."
Day 01 (Monday)
I finished reading the packet of papers, passed the test over it with flying colors, and then sat down with everyone. A girl who had been their longer than anyone else, Shelby, was starting to get aggrivated that she wasn't going to leave for at least another 2 days. So, while the nurses weren't looking, she jumped up on the counter, pushed up a ceiling tile, and just as it looked like her impossible escape was about to be reality, the tile her right hand had weight on gave out and broke, and she fell probably ten feet. She was sent to her room for the night. A nurse asked for me, and she led me to my dad. I looked at the nurse, holding the door open. She was required to stand there, to make sure I don't escape. My dad talked to me, and he brought my clothes. He got ready to leave, and he laughed. He said, "I drove by king buffet on the way here, and I thought, 'man i'd like to take you there right now'." I had a strange reaction. I laughed, and then I started to cry. Why was I crying? It's not like that's the last time I'll ever go to a Chinese restaraunt. No. I cried, because I knew I was no longer free. I eventually got my "phone call". One of the nurses wrote down a note my parents or someone told them to do, saying to call my sister when I could. I called her, and she answered. She said "hey, did you know if I would have been just a little quicker, we'd be halfway to Mexico by now?" and she began telling me about how after she got off the phone with me, she called Vernon and he was angry, and my brother told her what was going on, and she was crying. In no time my five minutes were up and I had to wrap it up.
After we were sent to bed, I laid down and tried my best to sleep. But I frequently woke up and peeked outside. A nurse asked me about it, and I said I was checking the time, since I wasn't used to going without my watch.
At this point, I would like to say that I don't remember a lot of details of my stay. It wasn't a pleasurable thing. I will leave out some things, though, like the daily doctor talks, the nightly talks with the therapist, and other repetative parts. *But there are some things that I forgot, and therefore, this section isn't as long.
Day 2 (Tuesday)
*Then, I woke up, and I hurriedly got ready, because I read that I had to be up and out of my room by a certian time. I showered and left my room, only to have a nurse tell me I was up early, and everyone else wouldn't be awake for an hour. But they decided to let me stay out there and wait. As they checked my vitals ( blood pressure, heart rate, etc) I heard a woman talking to another nurse "polite, sociable, made 100% on his test yesterday, waking himself up, he's my type of patient!" I just laughed at this. After it was done, I looked around, and one thing more than everything else combined aggrivated me: there were no windows. If there were, you couldn't see out of them. All I could make out from my very blurry window in my room was that directly outside my window was gravel, meaning it was a roof out there. How could this be? I was on the ground floor. This confused me, but I had more important things to worry about. I will give the place one thing: school days were 1 1/2 hours long, and it was pretty easy. But there was hardly any time for breaks. After "school", there was breakfast, guest speakers, games, activities, educational videos, it would have been much more fun if it felt less like jail. And truely and honestly it is a nice place, but not seeing the outside world for a few days has an effect on people.
At about 5, we were sent to our rooms as a sort... I don't know what to call it. It was something like quiet time. Not having a room mate, I got bored quick. I kicked a pillow in the air, until I was told to quiet down, and I eventually ended up sleeping.
"...illon? Dillon!" I heard a nurse calling for me. I hopped up.
"is it time to come out yet?" I asked.
"yeah, I told you your family has been here 10 minutes ago. Come on out."
My mom and dad were there, along with my sister and brother and step dad. At least mom had*enough*integrity to not tell them too.
My sister was the nicest one out of all of them. My mom and dad were very unremorseful of their actions. Quite contrary, they believed that was the best course of action. I finally got threw that day. No phone calls tonight.
I was up when they came to wake me up for the next day. Much of this day was the same as day 2, except a few daily differences. I got a noon and evening call today, but no visitors today. Sometime between day 2-4, Shelby was released, but only to transfer to somewhere else, due to her unstable attitude, due to her being pinned up for 21 days. Also in this time frame, another person left and 2 new people came. It is important to note everyone who I met was their for either: attempted suicide, cutting their wrists, suicidal notes, or cannabalism. Talk about a blow to your self esteem. Days seem to merge in my memory at this point.
The doctors and therapists didn't like me keeping them in the dark about why I was there. They set up a family meeting for tomorrow.
This day was slow and painful. Eventually, my parents threatened to essencially hack and use my laptop for evidence. I still had horrible stage fright when asked why I was there. My dad eventually yelled it out. I went bezerk. I'm proud of myself that, even though I was extremely mad, I didn't hurt or damage something. Back then, I let anger get to me way more than it should. We wrapped it up and I went to bed later that night
Day 5 (Friday)
It was routine for me now. Same old, same old. But only not. I went to see my doctor that morning, only to realize I was being discharged. I filled out a questionare, and by noon, october 1st, 2008, I was gone. I got home, and it hasn't been the same since. I'm never allowed my laptop upstairs, or out of my parents' site for that matter. And I was grounded for about 20 mounths from the internet, 2 from games, and 10 months from my phone. I got ungrounded fully Christmas of '09.
I hope that you liked reading this... And hopefully you learned something from it, too. If you had a better experiance, well then I salute you. The moral of this is just please, look before you leap. Thanks for reading.
Plz comment!! ^^