Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: Messy messy flatmates!

  1. #1

    Default Messy messy flatmates!

    Right, I need some advice lads!

    I cannot live where I'm living at the moment any longer. The mess is killing me. There are constant parties going on, and I'm sick of living in this hole! My flatmates plan parties, and then when the flat gets trashed, it's MY deposit that's being charged as well as theirs. They never tidy up after the weekends shenanigans and it's always me and the other tidy one that end up having to tidy it up. I posted a blog not long ago detailing some of the mess, and this week is even worse.

    My blog!

    They had a party on Friday night, and when I got home on saturday afternoon it still hadn't been cleaned up. It's not 4pm on Sunday and there's still not a single clean dish, plate, pot or spoon in the flat and and I'm having to wear shoes so I don't stand on broken glass. I'm actually too scared to go into the kitchen to wash anything up.

    I totally get that sometimes mess happens, or people are too busy to do their dishes for one day, and that's ok, but this is disgusting. I can't keep being expected to tidy up their atrocious messes. Am I being too harsh though? Is it me that's in the wrong here?

    I can't move out of this flat until June, unless I want to pay double rent, which I can't afford. The people I live with don't seem to care about the deposit because they all have rich parents who will bail them out, but I really saved up for the deposit on this flat, and I really need it so I can get another flat when the lease runs out on this flat.

    How can I bring this up with them without sounding like a horrible person? They're so tight, and I know if I mention it they'll just bitch about me non-stop! I hate hate hate this!! Anyone got any advice on what I can do here?

    Is it really too much to ask that I won't catch something if I cook something in the kitchen?

  2. #2

    Default

    Wow, that really really sucks! I'm not sure what to advise on the flat itself--I think you should emphasize that it's a safety risk. Frame it in terms of "it's really dangerous to step on broken glass, and if you do when you're drunk it will cause you lots of trouble." I would be fairly up front about it. you might also suggest all clearing it up together with some music so no one feels they get screwed into doing it all. It's not fair to you, but that doesn't necessarily change anything.

    I would suggest you live with other people next year, though. I recommend older medical students if you want peace and quiet in the flat, but that probably isn't what you want.

  3. #3
    Asher

    Default

    Man oh man, I know the feeling; I've been going through a similar thing!

    In the apartment I live in, there's been a guy who lives next me. He's a young guy - early 30's - isn't married, has a little beer belly, stuff like that. Well, he has the habit of throwing parties... all the time. Even some that consist of only him and his twelve pack of Miller Lite. Gets a little on your nerves when you're trying to sleep and the music is blaring and when you wake up the next morning, there's weird things strewn across the hall... Its never a good sign.

    I did the mistake of talking to him. Just being nice and stuff - asking him to maybe turn down the music a little more. He looked a little confused about it and he said he would. But what does he do? ...Turns up the music louder. So trust me on this one: if you know that it would only make the situation worse by talking to them, DEFINITELY don't talk to them.

    What I eventually ended up doing was going to our landlord (very nice lady). I asked around (some of my neighbors are friends of mine), and they agreed with me about the noise. Had the landlady talk to the guy, and it has been a little bit more quiet, so it was a moderate success. So what I would say is this: get some support on this one and go talk to someone. Do you have people who live close by who feel the same way about your flatmates? They angry about the noise and the parties they throw? Anybody who has also seen the mess in your flat and finds it ridiculous, etc.? Something on those lines. Go talk to your land lord (or who ever is charge of the building that you're living in) and have them talk to your mates. This may or may not work, but it is worth a shot if it seems to be a reasonable option.

    Other than that, if that idea doesn't seem to work, just wait it out. June is a little more than 2 months away; it might seem like a while, but it might just fly by pretty quickly. I'm out of here in June too, so I'm counting the days. Hope this helped, and good luck!

  4. #4
    Peachy

    Default

    I would suggest what Asher said: Go to the landlord, or whoever owns/rents the place. It's one thing to leave dirty dishes around, which isn't really the landlord's problem. But if you're fearing for your deposit, and if there's glass strewn all over the floor, we're getting into the territory of permanent damage. Maybe the landlord can talk some sense into them, or at least take you off the list of people who trashed the place once you move out. It's always best to be proactive about these things, especially if you don't depend on the other roommates' continued friendship after moving out of there.

    Peachy

  5. #5

    Default

    I would go to the landlord about it, personally.

    unfortunately you have seemed to have learnt that while flatmates are all cool and fun and sociable during the day, actually having to live with them and their lack of consequence really starts to get old quick

    personally makes me glad I have the whole housing thing sorted out wayyyy before uni

  6. #6

    Default

    Just have to always be very careful when you pick someone to live with, as just because you get on really well with each other before...living with someone is totally different.

    Hope you sort it out ok

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by talula View Post
    Right, I need some advice lads!

    I cannot live where I'm living at the moment any longer. The mess is killing me. There are constant parties going on, and I'm sick of living in this hole! My flatmates plan parties, and then when the flat gets trashed, it's MY deposit that's being charged as well as theirs. They never tidy up after the weekends shenanigans and it's always me and the other tidy one that end up having to tidy it up. I posted a blog not long ago detailing some of the mess, and this week is even worse.

    My blog!

    They had a party on Friday night, and when I got home on saturday afternoon it still hadn't been cleaned up. It's not 4pm on Sunday and there's still not a single clean dish, plate, pot or spoon in the flat and and I'm having to wear shoes so I don't stand on broken glass. I'm actually too scared to go into the kitchen to wash anything up.

    I totally get that sometimes mess happens, or people are too busy to do their dishes for one day, and that's ok, but this is disgusting. I can't keep being expected to tidy up their atrocious messes. Am I being too harsh though? Is it me that's in the wrong here?

    I can't move out of this flat until June, unless I want to pay double rent, which I can't afford. The people I live with don't seem to care about the deposit because they all have rich parents who will bail them out, but I really saved up for the deposit on this flat, and I really need it so I can get another flat when the lease runs out on this flat.

    How can I bring this up with them without sounding like a horrible person? They're so tight, and I know if I mention it they'll just bitch about me non-stop! I hate hate hate this!! Anyone got any advice on what I can do here?

    Is it really too much to ask that I won't catch something if I cook something in the kitchen?
    Hmm.

    You need to move to Iowa instead!

  8. #8

    Default

    talula, looks like you've got some good advice thus far. If it were me I'd shut down all the power at the circuit board and lock it up 6 hours before the next week-end/party thing. I'd probably end up being a real prick about my displeasure with putting up with their shit.

    Your thread (among many others historically on ADISC) suggests a Wiki article that would be most useful for 14-28 year olds, would be one outlining ideas for successful shared/communal living. I know it may have little to do with *B/DL issues but it may make life and the quality of life for our members better.

    An excerpt of a post of mine from an earlier tread from last year:

    If you talk to the landlord, you may suggest, that if a reasonable solution cannot be found, perhaps he would release you from the rerntal contract and rewite the contract with the offending flatmates. The landlord could require that they payback your portion of the damage deposit (so your portion can be refunded to you). I went through many roommates before coming up with sane and logical consequences and agreeable contracts (rules that all roommates committed to follow). More that one roommate was asked to leave under the terms of our contracts. These situations were always difficult but not intolerable like your current situation. Best of luck in this sticky wicket.
    Last edited by Diapered Rabbit; 07-Mar-2010 at 23:49.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by BabyAlex86 View Post
    Just have to always be very careful when you pick someone to live with, as just because you get on really well with each other before...living with someone is totally different.

    Hope you sort it out ok
    Good advice which I hope to take next year, but this year is first year halls, so you don't get a choice. Believe me if I did, these would be the last people I would share with!!

    As to everyone else: I'm gonna go to the landlord tomorrow, well the accomodation manager, and ask if there's something I can do about it.

    Thanks for the advice, and if anyones got any coping strategies for me in the meantime please please post them

    xx

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by talula View Post
    this year is first year halls
    Yeah, the people I lived with in my first year of uni in halls were utterly awful. Same sort of stuff that you're describing: constant parties, keeping me up at night and then leaving the mess around for days. And to make things worse, every morning around 8am we had accommodation cleaning staff come in to clean the kitchen, but if they couldn't get to surfaces (because they were covered in bottles, etc.), they'd come and bang on all of our bedroom doors and yell at us. And obviously everyone else was so hungover that they didn't bother getting out of bed to the knocking, so I'd go out there and try to explain that the mess is absolutely nothing to do with me, but they rarely bought it and I'd have to clean up their mess anyway.

    I tried having words with them about it, but was branded some kind of freak and wasn't spoken to by anyone for the rest of the year. I ended up quite literally hiding in my bedroom and only going into the kitchen when I could be sure that no one else was around (e.g. 8am, before they'd all woken up). I had an en-suite bathroom, and a fridge in my room, so I could realistically avoid leaving there for the most part, but it still resulted in me being unable to actually cook anything for the best part of nine months.

    People were suggesting that I go speak to someone in authority (accommodation staff, etc.), but they gave a constant impression of being completely incompetent (and if they had done something, my flatmates would've known exactly who had complained...), so I was too scared to tell anyone about it.

    So yes, good luck getting it sorted, and I hope you've found some friends you can live with next year

    I'm such a quiet, shy, loner type of a guy that I didn't really make any friends at uni at all, so I ended up moving back in with mum (~10 miles away) for my second year and having her drive me to uni and back every day. Not exactly ideal, since she annoys me almost as much as the aforementioned flatmates did, but it sufficed for a year... I'm living with my best friend now, and getting a place with just him and his girlfriend in July, so all's good for me at last, but it's taken a few years of housemate hell to get this far :/

Similar Threads

  1. Safe amount of time to stay in messy diapers
    By Pamperable in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 10-Dec-2009, 00:26
  2. Wet or Messy or None?
    By AByHeaven in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 17-Nov-2009, 04:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.