Alright, so I have a situation to share that involves some back story before I get into it.
So I use to have a friend who I met through a friend of a friend kind of deal. Yes, ab/dl was the common interest we all shared. Now at the time he was living in PA and quite miserable might I add. He wanted to come to California though to visit and possibly look into moving here. Sure enough he fell in love with California during his visit and starting working out all the details in his head in how to make it his new home. I was between jobs at the time so I joined him on a epic road trip from CA to PA and back.
When I arrived back home I got a email from him basically saying he was falling in love with me. He went into detail about how on the road trip he would watch me sleep and want nothing more than to cuddle up to me. Not just in the car either, all the hotels we stayed in too. There were further details but I'm not comfortable sharing those. The thing is, he knew I was already involved. He knew how happy and content I was with my current partner already. I thought he respected that but I thought wrong. I didn't know his new found love of California was gonna be one for me as well.
I played it cool though. Yes inside my head I wanted to rip his fucking head off for his complete lack of respect for my relationship. Not just that though. I felt used but as hard as it was to hold back it just wasn't worth it to me. No instead I told him that I can't help you. I'm not looking to break up with the one I already love for you. I think I even apologized to him that I couldn't be there for him in "that" way. Why? I probably felt sorry for him more than anything.
I pretty much knew at that point that this friendship would never be the same. Now if only I knew how he was gonna react. Fuck. He pretty much made our lives hell after that. Lies, lies, and more lies were spread. You know shit sucks when you have your friends asking you questions of "Why would you say that?" and your left staring there completely clueless as to what their talking about. Yes he turned into a backstabbing snake. Somehow he got it into his head that if he can't have me, no one can. So he spread multiple lies about myself and my partner. I never seen someone so driven by vengeance and fueled by jealousy until he came into my life. Not only that but he also got my roommate involved in attempts to get him to kick me out on the street. I heard everything from "he's a drug dealer, he's a whore, etc". The whole situation was just straight up hell. Don't even get me started on the multiple times I had to defend myself when he accused me of cheating on my partner. Once again, fuck.
I should mention a time line here. I was twenty when this all first started. So almost nine years ago. Yes it's calmed down considerable but once in a blue moon he'll find a way to get a message over to me. Usually it's because he's been drinking right before.
This morning he did it again. Here's a taste of what I'm dealing with -
"Why do you hate me so much? Please feel free to tell me whatever else you hate about me. I won't give up trying to be your friend. Hate me for it."
"I don't hate you. I never said that. This doesn't mean I want to be your friend though. I wish you could respect that but you're playing the stubborn card which is only further proving to me why it's best I continue to keep my distance from you. I learned from myself that the stubborn shit gets old. After all I use to be my own worse enemy. That being said, why would I want to friend someone who reminds me of everything I once hated about myself? I moved on. I wish you would. I'm very happy with my current place in life and it's only getting better. I'm not about to throw any drama back into it. Please try to find your own happiness because you won't find
it with me, even with force."
It's not often I say this to a fellow AB but grow up. I don't understand why it's so hard to accept the fact you fucked up. Some grudges can be let go but some are held on to forever to serve as a reminder of someones true colors. People will argue that someone can change if given a second chance and I'll simply laugh back in their face. I'm done.