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Thread: Honeying the Trap...

  1. #1

    Lightbulb Honeying the Trap...

    So.

    I'm moving from my house to an apartment. The apartment is in the town where I go to university.

    I am also starting to think to the future. I'm not sure I'm ready for dating and everything that entails, but I do want to invite young ladies* over and have a nice time. That may have sounded sexual, but it's not intended as such.

    I'm a painfully private person. I know that if I am left to it, I'll hole up in the apartment, close all the blinds, close in on myself, and be a hermit. This is what I'm asking:

    (For the young ladies here especially: ) What can I do to make a place feel as airy, welcoming, inviting, and intimate as possible, without it being festooned with shag carpeting and velvet paintings? I want women to feel welcome, not like they are expected to put out.

    Note: I have no television. As such, "movie nights" would be difficult. I have the following furniture that will go into the living room:
    • 3-cushion couch;
    • Bookshelf;
    • ... shit, that's all the furniture I have now.

    I'll probably buy a couple of chairs and maybe a low coffee table as well.

    1. What kind of layout should I set up?
    2. Aside from dimmable lighting, how can this room be made into both a "public" and "semi-intimate" space?
    3. Am I missing something else?


    * By this, I mean people who are my age or younger. It's a college town, so not a lot of thirty-somethings are going to be single. Ideally, I can picture a 25+ year old person (someone in grad school, at least) and I getting along really well. This is what I mean when I say "young ladies." Thanks to Zephy for pointing out that the phrasing here sounded a bit pervy. I'm not specifically looking to date anyone right now ... but I'm trying to put myself into the position where I might have to kindly turn down an offer, rather than being in a position where I'm finally ready and unable to find anyone. This said, I'm not sure that I'd get along intimately with someone who is 20-23, because I am removed enough from current events and popular culture as it is. They might start talking about ... er ... well, something current, and I'd have no idea what they were going on about. And then I'd have to gently tell them that I've no idea what they're talking about, and that I live under a rock. And that's a somewhat embarrassing conversation to have.
    Last edited by h3g3l; 06-Mar-2010 at 00:02. Reason: Disclaimer/Footnote.

  2. #2

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    Alrightey....

    Make it homey. Lots of throw blankets, soft seating areas. If that's your couch, maybe add a love seat or something.... chairs aren't intimate, as only one person can sit in them. :S I would suggest getting a television.... and movies, and such.

    The best thing to do is make it reflect who you are. If you have an entertainment center crammed with books, that's great! It shows you like to read. Do you like wolves? The colour blue? Panda bears? Hannah Montana? Grab throw blankets or throw pillows of things you like and drape them on the back of the couch and such.

    A coffee table would be nice, too. Something cute, cozy and comfy would be best. It allows the person to feel at home (and not like they shouldn't sit the wrong way lest they break something) but not *too* at home. The kinda place where someone would wanna kick of their shoes and relax with you.

    Lamps are good, too. That way it's not overly dark... and not crazy bright from an overhead light. Oh, I would also suggest board games. Everyone lovesss board games!

  3. #3

    Default

    Okay, here's a few things to keep in mind. This is just stuff that I've learned. First off, keep the place spotless at ALL TIMES. I mean it. Not just tidy, I mean clean. No pile of dirty dishes in the sink, no milk left on the counter, clean. The smell is also critical. Nothing overpowering, nothing strong, and nothing smelly. If you can find a cheap steam cleaner, pick it up. It's one of my best friends. Also, make it look masculine. A lot of people will say it should be neutral, but masculine is pretty important. It sends a subtle message - this is a man's apartment. By that, I don't mean having sports paraphernalia all over the place or anything, that sends a different message all together (you're obsessed with games). What you want to do is have your apartment look like it belongs to a man who is in charge of himself and his life. A bedspread that matches (not your mom's old hand-me-downs), in solid, darker colors. Mine is a sort of a steely-blue. High threadcounts are important, too (high threadcounts feel much better on naked flesh ). Don't make it look like you're trying to get laid, make it look like this is a place where you live and work. Spare is the key word, here. Everything in your apartment should be functional. That's not to say that it can't look good and be functional, but don't put something in just for decoration. Also, make sure the apartment reflects you (or, at least, the image you want to portray to your guests). If you're a voracious reader like myself, a nice, elegant bookshelf filled with books is perfect. If you're in to computers, make sure your computer desk looks like something you'd see in the office of someone important. By that, I mean it's clean (NO FOOD AT YOUR COMPUTER), cables are neatly tucked away, etc.

    Oh, and something that I like -- a bar. It doesn't have to be big or complicated or anything. Something like this that you can keep some glasses and a few bottles of liquor on. That way you can offer a drink to your guests. Don't go overboard, or you'll look like an alcoholic, but a simple cart with a few bottles of whatever you like to drink is good. And if you only like beer, well, time to branch out

    The main purpose of this is to trigger something in the mind of whoever you're inviting over. There are many, MANY women out there that think a man who is in control of his life just need "the right girl" to come along and make his life perfect. I'm very honest about my sexual pursuits - I have no intention of finding a wife, or anything beyond some carnal fun. But nobody believes me. Seriously. Girls almost fall over themselves to be the one to change me.

  4. #4
    DominatingMommy

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    Being a young woman who happens to know you, as much as you allow me...I'm going to go with a different room. The kitchen. I know you like to cook. Matching salt and pepper shakers, especially a pepper grinder, shows me that the guy cares about what he is doing. I know you didn't ask that, just throwing it out there. Matching plates and silverware are nice too.

    Back to the livingroom area - pillows on the couch make me feel comfy. Nice soft ones. Window treatments, not just blinds and/or a sheet thrown up there.

    I have more ideas, but it's almost 1 am and I'm tired. I'll revist this thread.

  5. #5

  6. #6

    Default

    Does that mean that I'm not invited over since I'm not young or female?

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by khaymen View Post
    Does that mean that I'm not invited over since I'm not young or female?
    No. But it means that I'll not be as paranoid/neurotic insofar as what you think of the place.

    ---------- Post added at 01:46 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:41 AM ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by DominatingMommy View Post
    Being a young woman who happens to know you, as much as you allow me...I'm going to go with a different room. The kitchen. I know you like to cook. Matching salt and pepper shakers, especially a pepper grinder, shows me that the guy cares about what he is doing. I know you didn't ask that, just throwing it out there. Matching plates and silverware are nice too.

    Back to the livingroom area - pillows on the couch make me feel comfy. Nice soft ones. Window treatments, not just blinds and/or a sheet thrown up there.

    I have more ideas, but it's almost 1 am and I'm tired. I'll revist this thread.
    I'm grinning as I read this. I *have* matching salt-and-pepper shakers, and the pepper is a grinder (pepper mill). So I'm apparently doing okay there.

    Of course, a friend said she saw "fucking pigs" salt-and-pepper shakers over in Norway somewhere. I haven't been so lucky, because I'd really like a set of 'em. Maybe it's for the best, though.

    Aha--and my matching plates were thrown out. And my silverware--a full set--now lives in China. So I have random odds-and-ends again. *sigh*

    I have and enjoy window treatments. The apartment has blinds--ugh--and plastic/vinyl ones at that--ugh. However, the sliding door that goes to the balcony is about a 15-20 foot span, so I'm not sure what I can really do there short of going all custom (and expensive). In the bedrooms, I'm going to install curtain rods (to hell with it, I'm doing that) and some nice deep red curtains I have and enjoy. I'm unifying the rooms with "red." It's a color I like and I think it's a good move, as one of the rules (stupid damn apartment living, I thought I'd moved beyond that!) is "you can't paint." So I get to look at white walls.

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