So, I recently got engaged to the girl I'd been dating for a few years now. All was pretty well, except for me and my diapers. I knew she didn't like them before, but it was always like a little spat and we'd move on. At that time, we were long distance still.
After we got engaged, she moved down with me and we now live together She apparently really really hates my diapers. I never wear them around her, and only do it (and not even that often now) when I'm alone, or she's not around (like at work). This is a pretty big change for me considering that I was 24/7 for a few months last fall.
Anyway, I was content enough that she didn't want to participate, that she didn't want me to do it around her, etc etc. Granted, like very other AB or DL, I always dreamed of finding a girl who was into diapers. Although I figured that wouldn't really happen (why is the male/female ratio in this fetish scene so depressing?), I always thought that I'd find someone who could at least tolerate them at some capacity.
But lately, she's started this whole ultimatum with me. She's pitted herself against them, and insists that it's either her or them. Now, I love her tons, but I'm just trying to be honest. I told her that I didn't think that I could give them up for the rest of my life. And I told her that I could try to stop wearing them, but that I would never stop liking them. She refuses to budge or compromise in any way. In fact, she's all angry with me that I have them in our apartment at all.
So, I figure others here have faced something similar before. What did you do? I don't want to lose her, but it bothers me that she's asking me to change something so big about my life and that if I don't she'll leave me.
The truth is, I really don't want to stop wearing diapers. It took me a long time to accept myself for who I am, and I really do not want to return to the days of fighting my diaper desires. When I wore them all the time, diapers became nothing special to me. And that's how I liked it - they were just like underwear. I didn't really think about them lots. Now, I could be plenty happy with wearing them just every once in a while, as long as I could wear them when I wanted to.
But, if I stick to my guns and lose her, I'm not sure other women are more accepting of it ... that was one of my biggest fears as a teen diaper lover, that I'd be alone forever. I've noticed that a lot of people in the community are either young and single, or a little older (40-50+). Many of those who are around my age and married seem to only be a part of the community without their SO's knowledge (e.g. someone who only wears like if their partner is out of town for the weeknd, or something). I'm not going to judge anyone, but I personally don't want it to be like that. Does that observation seem correct? Where do the other DLs go? Do they just kind of grow out of their urges? Or do they shove them deep down inside of them, try to move on, and get marred?
I feel like I'm kind of at a big fork in the road. I never wanted to have to choose between diapers and a woman, but here I am. She just can't see it from my point of view, and refuses to try. Like I said in some threads in the past, she has compared them to doing drugs, and other things that she finds undesirable. She thinks if I stop wearing them for a while that my urges will go away. I told her that I didn't think so, but that I'd try it. So, I didn't wear a diaper for a month. This was on of the hardest things I've done in a long time -- to put off all my urges, even though I had diapers sitting in my closet a few feet away. Through the month there were times I was angry, depressed, anxious, and just generally unhappy. And, I couldn't talk to her about it because she always either gets mad or distant when I talk about diapers.
She floated the idea of us seeing a "fetish therapist", but she says that nobody is going to change her mind about it. So, really she just wants it for me, and I honestly don't see myself just giving up diapers entirely.
Am I screwed? Have you guys ever lost a long standing relationship over this stuff? She's way more important to me than some diapers, but psychologically I just don't think I can do it. And, I don't feel like she should be trying to force me to change something like that about myself. So, I'm a bit conflicted.
Anyway, if you're still reading this, thanks . I know this post is probably a bit ramble-y and long, but I just needed to get it out there. Phew.