View Poll Results: What do you do/What do you think a person should do

19. You may not vote on this poll
  • I tell the person. If im annoyed or bothers I let others know.

    12 63.16%
  • I just stay silent. (i dont wanna hurt their feelings)

    3 15.79%
  • I think you should let a person know if they are annoying before it gets outa control

    13 68.42%
  • I think you should keep it to yourself, it will be better that way.

    2 10.53%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Ok, I really want opinions on this because this is getting to the point of annoying me profusely (Rant Warning)

  1. #1

    Default Ok, I really want opinions on this because this is getting to the point of annoying me profusely (Rant Warning)

    Ok Im really hoping someone can actually give a good reason for why this f**king happens. Because this is REALLY pissing me off and I am really getting fed up with society over this.


    In society today everyone is so f**king scare of hurting others peoples feelings that when something is wrong they just keep their dam mouths shut. And then they let the problem grow and grow, and they when it finally does come out the person's whos feelings they were trying not to hurt get hurts 100000000000000000x worse.

    I mean come on people what the heck is going on with all the dam silence. I am sick of losing or almost losing friendships over s**t like this.

    I almost lost 2 friendships because people didnt tell me what was wrong, that i was bugging them and i didnt kno, until it got to the point where the friendship was over. They thankfully finally told me before it got past the point of no return and now were back in great terms with eachother.

    Now I have just lost a friend cause apparently the past few times we talked on messenger i annoyed him cause i wasn't having a good day(s) so i vented to him, cause friends are supposed to be there to listen when you need an ear.

    Now this apparently annoyed him. But He didnt say anything, he listened, and comforted me a bit. And he stayed silent. Didnt say i was annoying him, didnt tell me to stop just was silent.

    NOW here comes the best part. He starts avoiding me, saying sorry he hasnt been on, lifes been busy. Now i can understand it, some times life throws us problems.

    But it gets to a point were i can tell hes having contact with other people(while supposedly busy and AFK) and i pretty much come to the conclusion that he blocked me on messenger and just ignores me on here. Now i finally send a message. And then i get told everything. And i get told that they dont want contact with me anymore.

    And it f**king hurts. I love all my friends and i never want to hurt, annoy, pester, or bother them. So when I find out i have been doing this I say sorry and ask why i just wasnt told i was annoying them so i could stop or attempt to stop what i was doing that annoyed them. Might it bother me a bit, yes, but its better then lieing and avoiding.

    But the whole thing revolves around: "YOU CANT FIX A PROBLEM IF YOU DONT KNOW IT EXISTS"


    If someone is bothering you, or annoying you or offending you or w/e. DONT be afrade to let them know that they are. People got to stop worrying that they might hurt others feelings and let them know when something is wrong or a simple thing turns in to something huge.

    People have heard silence is acceptance. but its not... a person could be hateing whats going on but they will stay silent and let it go on. Then eventually it gets past the point of no return and all hell breaks lose and you do something you might regret. Hurt someone, hurt yourself, destroy a friendship over something stupid or simple, lose someone you care about.

    People need to learn to open their mouths whens something wrong.

    Ive lost friendships due to me being silent or others being silent, and ive seen other friendships have the same thing happen to them and its sad. Two great friends might throw it all away over something so stupid as something not said.

    now if you have read this far first off I appreate you at least listening to my rant, this has really been bothering me these last few days and ive been crying and just inverting. And i needed to get this off my chest or it would have driven me nuts.

    But now i wanna know what you guys do or what you think should be done

  2. #2


    This is very true, people don't know when to start talking, especially when something's wrong!! I agree with you completely, I've talked to people that assume nothing is wrong, but they won't talk even if you ask them to. Thanks for bringing this issue upfront. It shows what some people do. Do they think somehow that they'll hurt your feelings? When there's a problem, it needs to be dealt with. That's my 2 cents.

  3. #3


    Where's the 'I don't care' button?

    If someone ignores me, they ignore me. I'm sure they have atleast a half-decent reason. It's not like I'm stranded on a desert island with my lip pierced to theirs.

    Now, to wait for the negrep to shower me because people disagree.

  4. #4


    Oh yes thank you. This also annoys me too when people don't speak up. I recently found out I walk away while people are still talking to me because my husband told me my mom wasn't done talking. I come back saying I thought she was done talking and what was she going to say. Then I ask her if she is done. I then find out I have done this several other times and my husband didn't say anything about it because he didn't want to upset me. Why? Because lot of people don't like having their flaws pointed out. I told him "So you just let me kept on being rude because you never told me I did this?"

    Also people expect each other to read their minds in a relationship and my mom says that's why so many of them fail. They think if they love them so much, they would know on their own.

    That's one of the things I love about kids. They are direct and brutally honest they will tell you if you stink or if you are boring or annoying, they don't care for your topic, etc.

    Lot of people love me for my brutal honesty. But yet lot of people stop talking to me through PMs because we are having a nice conversation and then they stop responding. I also don't understand why people ignore my questions. I mean if they don't want to answer them, why not tell me? I don't think there is anything wrong with answering "Have you seen A League of Their Own?" or "How often do you go to Spokane?" Those type have been ignored. I just don't understand.

    I rely on 100 percent words because I can't read people. I need them to tell me. If they don't, then I won't know.

  5. #5


    I know how it feels, I lost a friend too this way. I also agree with gaachan though, if it happens to me now, I just kinda ignore that person, because I can't be bothered with people like that, now.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Cheetaluver View Post
    I know how it feels, I lost a friend too this way. I also agree with gaachan though, if it happens to me now, I just kinda ignore that person, because I can't be bothered with people like that, now.
    I agree, people like that after it happens its best to ignore them. But I still get botherd by the initial hurt. Guess im weak in that area.

  7. #7


    Yeah, I get what you're coming from. I used to be really timid about telling people what I think; I'd let them go on and on about whatever, occasionally mumbling something irrelevant, and I was really concerned about doing anything to insult them. But I eventually got tired of playing that role, and started being more vocal about my opinions. If I think someone's doing something idiotic, I make that clear, if somebody starts spouting off about some annoying girl at school, I'll tell him that I couldn't care less. In an odd coincidence, that was about the time my friends started calling me (affectionately) an ass. I'm okay with that (makes me feel like Dr. House), and my friends ask me for advice a lot more now, because they know that I'll assess the situation and tell them exactly what I think. Maybe some feelings get hurt, and there are times where a certain delicacy is called for, but if you never tell anyone how you feel, why bother talking to anyone at all?

  8. #8


    You've got to really push my buttons for me to say you annoy me. It happens, but rarely. I'm sorry to say that in life, there are those who annoy me, and I try to avoid them. Clearly we have nothing in common, and probably are coming from different ends of the spectrum. There's a woman who subs at our school and we couldn't be more opposite, so if I can, I try not to get engaged in conversation by her. There's a French teacher who is a real wack-o, and I try to avoid her at all cost.

    In these cases, we aren't friends. With my friends, if they annoy me, which is rare, I'm not going to say anything because I'm an adult with adult wisdom. I know it will pass. I also respect where they're coming from, even if I disagree with them, because we are good friends. That friendship didn't just happen, it was earned, and so we stay friends through thick and thin. Friendship is about loyalty.

  9. #9


    All i have to say is that if a friend is getting annoyed by you and won't say it and then leaves the friendship they weren't worth your time to start with. I am a very bubbly person and my friends have always told me when i'm "too bubbly" so i have never lost a friend and i can go to any of them and tell'em my feelings and these have been friends for 4-7 years. So from my experience if they don't want to listen or don't say anything and then blow up at you for it. There weren't worth it!

  10. #10


    It's a hard question to answer, but I'll try to present my two cents the best I can.

    I agree to most things that have been said already, but I'd like to add a few things.
    One of them, you can't force, neither can you expect everyone to speak out. Not everyone have the strength to speak out about their challenges and problems at the time. For reasons that varies.
    One might be that when you speak out about something sensitive or important to you, you're laying yourself wide open. Opening your fortress's gates and exposing a very real part of yourself. Point is, allot of people in this world today thinks that this is a negative ability. To expose yourself, to talk about problems, is a weakness.
    I believe nothing could be further from the truth.
    Hiding your real feelings inside and not give expression for them, can be very, very harmful for you.
    Which is why I want to stress that talking with other people, friends or family, is important when you face hard times or problems... For your own good and well-being.
    To overcome the fear of exposing yourself. Because really, behind those fears, lies something better.
    There's nothing, absolutely nothing wrong in asking for help.
    Alone, is not always strong.
    And for the person experiencing the hard times, there's one very true factor:
    "Nothing changes, until you first move."
    They really can't, expect someone to read their minds. They hold the key themselves, they have the choice and possibility to change.
    Of course it's hard. I too have experienced this. Unfortunately, I was learned the hard way... I know how hard it can be to speak out.

    Secondly, as for the person who's trying to comfort his friend...
    I believe that the very least one can do is to be there for your friends and listen to them. You really don't have to say anything, just be there for your friends and listen to them.
    Then comes this hard part, to try and help them and make them speak out if they're not doing it by themselves.
    Truly a tough thing to do...

    I think that one thing you can question yourself is something in the lines of:

    "If I don't stress my friend to speak to me about what's bugging him, will I be able to forgive myself if something horrible happens to my friend because of this, knowing that I had the chance to try and help?"

    Simply put, act in a way so that you won't feel regret. Because once you make a decision, you can't go back. If you care about your friends, take the risk.
    And I think, that should you stand there one day with something horrible happened to you friend, and you knowing you had the chance to take action... It will break your heart.

    But to be annoyed because one is staying silent, that's wrong. I base that on the things above.
    Broaden your visions! Try to see the situation out of THEIR perspective. Don't jump to conclusion that they don't want to tell you or doesn't like you!
    Edit: I happened to see this in BabyYuri's signature:
    "You dont know how the other person feels." I think that's a good summary of the above.

    That's what I believe. My two cents.

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