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Thread: I need advise, so lonely :(

  1. #1

    Unhappy I need advise, so lonely :(

    ****ing lonely.. How do I meet people?

    I'm not a social person at all. I manage to do my job just fine, and thats talking to people all day [how can you be surrounded by people yet so ****ing lonely?]

    How does an adult meet people? Seriously? I can't do "social networking" because really don't know too many people.. Just like to having someone that I could talk to.

    I listen to all these songs, should I not get my hopes up? I mean a guy like me. Doeas;rblfshnz

    Please, someone has to have experience with meeting people.

    I try to make my way to you.. But still I feel so lost, I've got nothin left to say.. Just Take me Away

  2. #2


    Hmm, i am pretty much the same. I left school without going onto further education so i lost contact with most friends, and also didn't meet anyone my age.

    Today i was going to a new martial arts training thing, sadly they are at a competition this week so i will go next week .

    The plan doing MMA is basically to get fit and hope i meet people my own age. Even if they are early 20's and i am nearly 18, one friend leads to another!

    Is there anything you would want to do? Like for me it's the martial arts, maybe there's something you enjoy and could go to a club and join in.

    Are you driving yet? That always helps getting out and about.

    Seriously, just stay positive in your mind and you won't get all depressed about it. Obviously that would make it worse if you did.

    Good luck, just keep your head up and try to get involved with something, possibly something in your community or a sport. Good luck!

  3. #3


    If, while talking to people on the job, you meet somebody you would like to know, be they male or female, you should definitely find ways to get their attention. Go out of your way to make small talk, like asking "Have you seen Avatar yet?" or "Your coat is really cool. Is it expensive?" Make conversation, and develop your people skills. If you say or do something that evokes a bad reaction (weird/awkward look, dismissive body language, making excuses to leave) think very hard about what happened and what might have killed the conversation, and learn from mistake. Then, forgive yourself. Nobody can tell that you're a loser on first glance, so don't worry about seeming like one. Just approach every conversation as a fresh start and a new chance, and take a position of confidence.

    Eventually you'll reach a point where people enjoy your company. Then, if you meet and talk to somebody you're genuinely interested in, even if they just have a nifty idea or like the same games you do, try to make contact. Invite them to lunch around your breaktime, and exchange phone numbers. Soon enough you'll make a buddy or two who won't mind chumming around with you now and then. Just don't share your personal problems with them unless they ask.

  4. #4


    It's not easy. But I think I can help. If you're looking for friends (and not like sex partners or something), it's pretty straightforward. Please note, straightforward and easy are not the same thing.

    First off, you have to identify interests you have. What are your interests? How the fuck would I know, why are you asking me? Okay, wait, I've been up for about 36 hours now, I'm a little drunk, and I'm talking to myself.

    Okay, starting over.

    First off, identify your interests. Do you like rugby? Astronomy? Books? You gotta figure that out, first. When I went through this exercise, it was surprisingly difficult to figure out things I was interested in.

    Once you have that nailed down, look at where you live. If you live in a large-ish city, there should be lots and lots of social clubs. This is where google-fu comes in. You'll have to search out clubs that focus on your interests. A fantasy football league, an astronomy club, a book club - whatever. Find a club that sounds like you'd have fun with it, and show up for their meetings. Finding these things is made much easier with things like facebook, where damn near every club on the face of the planet has a facebook page complete with details about when and where the next meeting happens to be.

    Once you have joined the club, show up for a few meetings. Get to know the people there. Don't go in there with any expectations of finding a best friend or anything, because that's just not how it happens, and you'll only leave disappointed and frustrated. But after you've been a few times, you'll start to get to know the people there. Find other events that some people there might be interested in. Is a there a comedian coming to town that you're interested in? See if anyone else at the club likes said comedian and see if you can arrange tickets. Here's how it works for guys - friendships are based on time and shared experience. So if you want a friendship, you need to invest time and share some experiences. That's what social clubs are practically built for - to give people with a common interest a chance to interact with one another. Oh, and never, EVER be afraid to say the words "hey guys, I got the next round".

    That's all there is to it. It'll take some time and practice, and you'll probably get hurt more than a few times. But if there's one thing we should all have learned from Dennis Leary, it's that life sucks, so get a fucking helmet.

  5. #5


    Answer me this and I may be able to point you in the right direction:

    What are you into? What do you like?

    An example form my life that lead me to a new group of friends.

    I have a diesel truck, I started really getting into working on my beast and went online to a forum, posted like crazy and with a year i have developed some pretty close offline friends in the diesel engine world. Guys I hang out with at their home garage and drink beer and bust knuckles turning wrenches on each others engine. You know male bonding tool time shit LOL.

    Theres a book I read years ago about native american's and the medicine wheel by a guy named H. Storm.
    "Loneliness is the cause of all suffering. end loneliness and you will end inner pain"

  6. #6


    Like others have mentioned (and I'm in the same boat), try going to certain groups/meet ups. I haven't been so I can't give proof of friendship, but if anyone wants to meet up in the Massachusetts area... *hint, hint*

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by kite View Post
    Like others have mentioned (and I'm in the same boat), try going to certain groups/meet ups. I haven't been so I can't give proof of friendship, but if anyone wants to meet up in the Massachusetts area... *hint, hint*
    DUDE you go meet the Boston Babies, some of th coolest folks around in the diaper scene.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by ChildishDaze View Post
    DUDE you go meet the Boston Babies, some of th coolest folks around in the diaper scene.
    I've only been to one so far, why? Are you inviting me along to another one coming up

  9. #9


    A while ago I went to the Midwest Furfest (furry convention) and met a bunch of people. I didn't hang out with any of them afterwords, but I could have. Just last weekend I went to Capricon (scifi convention) and I once again met a bunch of people, but this time I'm meeting them again, today in fact. I think that's the best way to meet people, just go to some event with a lot of people and make some friends!

  10. #10


    Find a club, hobby or sport that forces you to be around people. I have no idea what your interests are so I can't be more specific.

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