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Thread: I Want to Discuss This Before I Leave

  1. #1

    Default I Want to Discuss This Before I Leave

    Ok first I know I said I was leaving (Working on it)

    But A friend to me they where Asexual. I'm not sure how to aproch this.
    I have friends that are gay though. I don't want to hurt him.
    I'm posting this here because I saw that a lot of your are Asexual so I figured you guys could help.

    We got on that subject talking about how I've never been on a date and all of thier's dumps them.

    So I don't know how to tell him i'm ok with it and that he can talk to me about it any time.
    I've questioned mine plenty of times.


    I'm just going to take a Hiatus. I don't think I can leave permently.

    I'll come on my B-Day though. Thanks for the kind goodbyes they mean alot each one of them.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by scoo View Post
    I'm just going to take a Hiatus. I don't think I can leave permently.

    I'll come on my B-Day though. Thanks for the kind goodbyes they mean alot each one of them.
    Be well and see you when you return

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by scoo View Post
    So I don't know how to tell him i'm ok with it and that he can talk to me about it any time.
    I've questioned mine plenty of times.
    I'm asexual.

    If I were you, the next time the subject comes up I'd just come out and tell him that you're ok with it and mention that you're questioning your own sexuality. He's probably a great friend to confide in because he has gone or is still going through that same struggle to see where he fits.

    I feel like you're making too big a deal out of this - the way to not offend him is not to make a big deal out of it.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by NutFreeFruitcake View Post
    I'm asexual.

    If I were you, the next time the subject comes up I'd just come out and tell him that you're ok with it and mention that you're questioning your own sexuality. He's probably a great friend to confide in because he has gone or is still going through that same struggle to see where he fits.

    I feel like you're making too big a deal out of this - the way to not offend him is not to make a big deal out of it.
    I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it. But yea I'm perfectly ok with it.

    Thanks.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by scoo View Post
    I didn't mean to make a big deal out of it. But yea I'm perfectly ok with it.

    Thanks.
    The thing to remember is that when you're dealing with an asexual is that there's really nothing much to be "okay with". The absence is the pivotal bit. The biggest leap of understanding is to get that he's not likely to be hitting on you or anyone else nor to be much interested in overtures from anyone, all of which falls squarely into his own thing to deal with. The only reason to talk about it at all is if he's not happy with that, so just let him know you're open and available and go see a movie or whatever you normally do.

  6. #6

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    I don't see the problem. So he's just not interested in sex? I don't see how that could affect the relationship between two people, nor do I think he needs to know you're okay with it. If you have friends that are gay I think it's kind of assumed you don't mind his asexuality. Kind of reminds me of Micheal Scott feeling a lot of pressure to make sure everyone knows how open he is even though really he's just making it obvious how very aware he is of the other persons differences.

    But if I read right (wording was a little odd) is he's calling himself asexual because he can't get laid or because he doesn't have interest?

  7. #7

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    Just to clear something up, asexuals don't necessarily want to be single forever. Some of them desire romantic companionship, but just have no sexual desire.

    I myself am not really asexual, but I am far, far, far less sexual than most people. It could be because I'm not completely comfortable with my sexuality, nor my gender. I get sexual feelings, but sometimes I don't like it. And I really would not be in a hurry to have sex if I had a girlfriend.

  8. #8
    Butterfly Mage

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ShippoFox View Post
    Just to clear something up, asexuals don't necessarily want to be single forever. Some of them desire romantic companionship, but just have no sexual desire.

    I myself am not really asexual, but I am far, far, far less sexual than most people. It could be because I'm not completely comfortable with my sexuality, nor my gender. I get sexual feelings, but sometimes I don't like it. And I really would not be in a hurry to have sex if I had a girlfriend.
    Exactly. I've have a partner that I love very much and have a ten-year relationship. Neither of us are particularly gung-ho about sex, but we certainly don't want to be single either.

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