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Thread: Diaper Run FML!!!

  1. #1

    Default Diaper Run FML!!!

    So I made another run today and it went down... Like crap. It started when I got dropped off at my house. I was supposed to be home alone for a while and then 10 minutes after my plan to run, my sister pulls up. So I decide to go anyway. I told my mom (over the phone) I was just going to get a bottle of Mountain Dew (LIES) So I went and here's how it went...

    The store was crowded so I had to wait for a clear path by standing next to the aisle and pretending I just stopped to read a text. Once it was clear, I yanked a pack of the Dollar General sleep pants off the shelf, then grabbed a Propel (Strawberry-Kiwi ) and a pack of atomic fireball candy (I'm not sure why...) When I get up to pay... The ONLY lady working the register recognizes me cuz I go there every friggin week day. The checkout begins with her pointing at the bag and saying, and I quote, 'Oh, you wear overnight pants?' Now I kinda tremble a little and I respond with the MOST OBVIOUS WAY POSSIBLE. 'N-n-no... I'm grocery shopping for my mom.' Let me stop to say I was buying candy water and diapers... Excuse FAIL!!! So she replies with 'Ha ha! Relax, I'm just messing with ya.' She then said something about candy... So I start to leave and she says 'Don't you want your reciept?' So I turn and grab that, then walk out to my bike. I didn't want to show up at the front door holding the bag so luckily on my way home, I found a big box marked 'FRAGILE' and hid my purchase in their, snuck it through the garage and now I'm here... I'm not going to that store for a few weeks or so.

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Geostigma123 View Post
    So I made another run today and it went down... Like crap. It started when I got dropped off at my house. I was supposed to be home alone for a while and then 10 minutes after my plan to run, my sister pulls up. So I decide to go anyway. I told my mom (over the phone) I was just going to get a bottle of Mountain Dew (LIES) So I went and here's how it went...

    The store was crowded so I had to wait for a clear path by standing next to the aisle and pretending I just stopped to read a text. Once it was clear, I yanked a pack of the Dollar General sleep pants off the shelf, then grabbed a Propel (Strawberry-Kiwi ) and a pack of atomic fireball candy (I'm not sure why...) When I get up to pay... The ONLY lady working the register recognizes me cuz I go there every friggin week day. The checkout begins with her pointing at the bag and saying, and I quote, 'Oh, you wear overnight pants?' Now I kinda tremble a little and I respond with the MOST OBVIOUS WAY POSSIBLE. 'N-n-no... I'm grocery shopping for my mom.' Let me stop to say I was buying candy water and diapers... Excuse FAIL!!! So she replies with 'Ha ha! Relax, I'm just messing with ya.' She then said something about candy... So I start to leave and she says 'Don't you want your reciept?' So I turn and grab that, then walk out to my bike. I didn't want to show up at the front door holding the bag so luckily on my way home, I found a big box marked 'FRAGILE' and hid my purchase in their, snuck it through the garage and now I'm here... I'm not going to that store for a few weeks or so.
    Not really an FML, but I've been there before.

  3. #3

  4. #4

    Default

    I consider myself lucky, i got to either a walgreens or a pharmacy to get my diapers so i dont really have to deal with meeting a person too many times. It could have been a lot worse, you just got to calm down. If you act cool and collected no-one would think anything of it.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Dakota13 View Post
    I consider myself lucky, i got to either a walgreens or a pharmacy to get my diapers so i dont really have to deal with meeting a person too many times. It could have been a lot worse, you just got to calm down. If you act cool and collected no-one would think anything of it.
    This ^

  6. #6

    Default

    So true. Thanks guys. I've never been good with quick excuses. I wonder what she would say if I just said they were for me. Awkward cashier moment ACTIVATE

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Geostigma123 View Post
    So true. Thanks guys. I've never been good with quick excuses. I wonder what she would say if I just said they were for me. Awkward cashier moment ACTIVATE
    Why are you getting those crappy Sleep Pants anyway?

  8. #8

    Talking



    Quote Originally Posted by Geostigma123 View Post
    Sure felt like one '''-_-
    I know the feeling. I just got back from a diaper run:

    So, if you don't know already from my other rants. I've been getting pissed lately at my roommate for just existing. He's ALWAYS around. College sucks so much balls... *cough* anyways...
    So, after my classes, I have a good 2 hours that I wasted today while my roommate was at his classes. I could've spent them going to get diapers, but I was on here instead. W/e.

    By the time he's back, I finally work up enough liberalism to just screw it and go get a bunch of diapers anyways, despite the fact that I'm in a small dorm room, at college, where it's difficult to keep things like diapers hidden. But nevertheless, diapers must be my anti-drug, because I was sick of withdrawal. The best part about this is that he went to the gym unexpectedly, and I therefore didn't have to work up an excuse as to why I was going out. So I hopped on a bus with my empty laptop bag and rode off to Walgreens.

    At Walgreens, I'm taking it casual in the adult incontinence isle, looking at Tums on the adjacent rack. Quickly, I grab a pack of their Certainty Large Fitted Briefs and head for the baby isle. I take less time there and grab some Pampers Size 7 (first time I've ever bought them ) and a small bottle of baby oil.

    As soon as I check out, I ask if there's a bathroom (even though I already know that there is one in the back of the store). I carry my bags straight to the bathroom, open the packages, and put all the diapers in my laptop bag, which barely fits. Keeping all the packaging and receipts (in case of a shoplifting accusation), I walk out the door.

    From then on out, I'm practically home free. When I get back, my roommate is in the shower (snorting or coughing or what ever the hell he does in there taking so long... another reason why he gets on my nerves), so I have a perfect time slot of 20 minutes to put my diapers away.

    Pictures of my awesomeness:


    Who knew that pampers diapers smell SO EFFIN GOOD! <3 But yeah, can't wait to wear some tonight.

    ---------

    On the note of excuses, I have a plan and excuse of reasoning for EVERYTHING, especially when it comes to diaper activities. For example, when my dad sees the $25 dollar charge on my bank statement from Walgreens, I'm going to to tell him that it was for valentines candy for a dorm party activity.
    If the police somehow expose that I bought diapers at Walgreens (via the cashier failing to review the cameras and accusing me of shoplifting), it was for a science project (but then I'll yell at them for trying to test my Pursuit of Happiness).
    If my roommate finds the diapers, I'll tell him it's personal, and I'll bitch slap him for invading my privacy. Either that, or I'll act real embarrassed and say that I have a bladder control problem at night, and ask that he not tell anyone (and he wouldn't).

    Yeah... I'm pro at excuses.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Suspence View Post
    Why are you getting those crappy Sleep Pants anyway?
    Only had a 10...

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Geostigma123 View Post
    Only had a 10...
    Is there a CVS near by?

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