*puts back of hand to head and swoons dramaticaly*
There's some crazy people on the internest these days. I'm one of 'em, so watch out! But I encountered some sort of half 40-year-old-virging half young girl on another website that I'm a member of. I was just minding my own buisness when BAM! I get PMed out of the blue! I've only been a member of the site for a few days, and I had yet to post anything or write up a profile (I'm a lurker, after all). So I was a little surprised when I got a PM from a complete stranger. Behold the PM in question:
Queer? Queer?! The hell? Oh, and awkward too. How the hell could this person assume to know anything about me when I was still new and anonymous? "I'm straight!" I wanted to scream at the computer. But it wasn't my computer's fault. So I did some research on this guy (name witheld). Turns out it's a girl. An 11-year-old girl! What is she doing on the internet? And how the diddly-hell does she know what 'queer' means?u seem farely awkward........and queer.........
Obviously, I had run into some sort of old man who gets off on pretending to be a little girl on the intenet. 'Cause, as we all know, that's what all girls on the internet are. I PMed back thusly:
I had no idea how she... he... would react to this. Badly, I secretly hoped deep down inside. I hoped she (he) would burst into flames at the very sight of my message, then who's computer would than explode like a texan's fireworks display on July 4th. I won't sugar-coat it: I was in a pretty bad mood when I was cruising this particular site. Than I got a message that told me I was gay FOR NO REASON AT ALL. You'd do the same too. I've also had too many (unpleasent) experiences with men pretending to be women on the internet. Far too many...How could you know if I'm queer or not? I haven't said a single thing on the entire site yet. So how could you, someone I have never before met in real life let alone the internet, claim to know something about me?
If by "queer" you meant (as the yanks say it) "homosexual", well then I'll have you know you're entirely wrong. And I have no idea what you mean by "awkward". "Awkward" is something uncommon or out of place, right? How on earth could you denote that I am awkward if you have never before seen, heard, or watched me go about my life?
Well, as long as we're making assumptions (remember: assume makes an ass out of you and... well, mostly just you) about eachother, I've read some of your posts on the forum and I have come to two conclusions.
1. You are an 11 year old on his parent's computer who is only just now learning basic grammar. You also play Halo, I bet. You're a fan of "The Sight".
2. You are in fact a 40-something depreesed and out of shape old fart who spends his free time masquerading as a young kid with no grammar skills (and overdoing it a little bit).
Nice to meet ya'.
But I got a reply from the person. So much for computers exploding after showing my message from hell on their screens. Oh well.
Well, apparently this person is more "edjucated" than me. I was speachless when I read that first bit. How does an 11-year-old go about telling me she is smarter than me? I wanted oh so badly to reply with something as philosophical as "Are not!" , but it would be futile. How do you argue with something like that? The bastard knew it would be impossible to argue against something so childish. You just can't...hahahahaha thats funny because first of all I am probably more well edjucated than you I have written several poems and storys in my life that have won 1st or 2nd place in a contest and i am a girl and you are probably a stalker(thats why you are saying this to get more info. about me!). I did not meen queer or awkward in that way i just meant random. If you are that sensitive then do NOT bother to send something back because it will most likely get worse. I, as a matter of fact have my own laptop and yes i do play halo and ive read the sight, i usually have bad grammar because i try and relax on the computer and have fun. YOU on the other hand seem OVER sensitive, pathetic and disliking yourself. If you hate yourself enough to TRY and pick on someone who is most likely younger than you than you have some mental issues and you are a pathetic loser. I am more in shape than you or else you woudnt have said so I enfoy life and you hate it!
well nice meeting YOU! even if SOME stuff isnt true then lets just say MOST of that stuff is true! :P
Then that next part. You've written several poems and stories? CONGRATU-****ING-LATIONS! WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING WE'RE TALKING ABOUT?!
And I apparently made all those assumptions about her because I'm a stalker. Don't stalkers, you know? Stalk? (I did quite an extensive background-check on my enemy, but let's leave that out of the equation. I'm not a stalker. Never was. Maybe I will be when I'm a 50-year-old fat, lazy bum, but not not.)
And I'm randome too! Random for what? PMING SOME RANDOM PERSON AND CALLING THEM GAY? THAT kind of random? This person also owns her very own laptop. I'm very impressed. SO impressed, in fact, that I could burn a village down.
She also plays Halo. 'Nuff said.
Relaxing on the computer is fun. Hell, I do it a lot too. Late at night, when I wake up scared from a nightmare, I hop on top of my computer and lay with my arms around it. Very relaxing.
According to this person, I'm pathetic and "disliking myself". I also have mental issues. Funny how you usualy have to have some sort of interactions with someone to make those assumptions about them. Hmm. I shall keep this in mind when I'm collecting my welfare check and stabbing myself.
Overly-sensative? OVERLY-SENSITIVE? Well SCUH-REW you buddy!
Can someone also tell this person that it is impossible to decide the shape someone is in without seeing them first.
And that snarky little smiley on the bottom there. Oh-boy. That about threw me over the edge.
And for those wondering what I did. Well, nothing. There is absoultely no reply to that PM that I can give. All doubts in my mind that said person is in fact a pedophile have been thrown from my head. She said it like no other 11 year old could.
Damn kids always messing up my internet. Get the heck offa' ma' lawn!