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Thread: Possible Repressed Memory - Anyody with Experience or Advice?

  1. #1

    Default Possible Repressed Memory - Anyody with Experience or Advice?

    On Sunday night I was worried about a few things which kept me up, but with the help of a plushie, I did manage to get to sleep not too late.

    Then at 2:30 I wake suddenly after a dream, not overly unusual in itself, except for the fact however much I try I can't remember a single thing about the dream that woke me up. This would be the norm for most people, but I always remember something about my dream, especially if it wakes me up.
    Now I try to get back to sleep but there's something blocking me from doing so. (This is going to sound odd if you've never had anything like it) The block seemed to be a memory that was worrying me, yet however much I tried to probe what it was, it always stayed out of reach.

    This may be jumping to conclusions here, and in a way I'd prefer it if I was, but is it possible that it was indeed a memory I was hiding from myself for some reason?
    My thinking was that the dream must have triggered it, enough for me to realise it was there, but then it still managed to hide itself again (and seemingly hide the dream too so that the link couldn't crop up again)

    Again, I may not be right here, but if it is a repressed memory then has anybody had any experience with these? I'm just worried I suppose that it's some kind of trauma (or even abuse, but I really hope not) that happened when I was a child.

    Sorry, if I seem slightly paranoid but I hope you can understand my concern.

  2. #2
    Butterfly Mage

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    Since I have a dissociative disorder, I'm old-hat at repressed memories. the best bet for dealing with them is finding a good counselor that can help you deal with what you are beginning to remember. If the memory is so bad that it's buried, it's guaranteed to be unpleasant. I've been in therapy for many years and there are still vast chunks of time that I cannot account for.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodlandWanderer View Post
    On Sunday night I was worried about a few things which kept me up.
    Your first words could be the answer.

    Bad dreams most often represent our fear and anxiety in relation to current events in our lives.

  4. #4

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    I would not dwell on it. Random stuff happens.

    And repressed finding repressed memories is a well know scam that dresses up as science and results in innocent people going to jail.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly Mage View Post
    Since I have a dissociative disorder, I'm old-hat at repressed memories. the best bet for dealing with them is finding a good counselor that can help you deal with what you are beginning to remember. If the memory is so bad that it's buried, it's guaranteed to be unpleasant. I've been in therapy for many years and there are still vast chunks of time that I cannot account for.
    Well i'd gathered that if it was hidden it was for good reason. The question is what's worse: Always knowing there's something (which may or may not have been nothing), or finding out something really traumatic happened?



    Quote Originally Posted by muira_wolf_pup View Post
    Your first words could be the answer.

    Bad dreams most often represent our fear and anxiety in relation to current events in our lives.
    If you read the whole thing carefully you should notice it wasn't a dream, that just happened right before. Sure I've had bad dreams that have woken me up and made me feel worried or anxious, but I'm certain this wasn't one of those. It's hard to explain, and if I try I'll probably not do it very well, so I wont; what I will say is each of us knows the feeling of certain things that go on in our brains, and to an extent you can know something is different (very different) but find that difference hard to explain to other people.



    Quote Originally Posted by MessyMan View Post
    I would not dwell on it. Random stuff happens.

    And repressed finding repressed memories is a well know scam that dresses up as science and results in innocent people going to jail.
    Yes, random stuff does happen, but just because something's random doesn't mean that it's not significant (but it doesn't mean that it is either)

    And next time think what you're writing before you post it, I and many other people (such as Butterfly Mage) will find that second statement incrediby offensive.
    Sure there are people who will claim to have had a repressed memory, and used it against someone in court when they didn't really remember a thing. However there are large numbers of people who have hidden traumatic experiences and had the memory triggered years later.

    Believe what you like, but I came here asking the community for help, and if you think it's appropriate to call my problem a 'scam', then I don't think you should be in the mature topics section.

  6. #6

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    I know where you are coming from, WoodlandWanderer.

    Most nights, when I dream, I realize that I am reliving some very bad things that have happened to me in the past, but that my mind sorta blanked out. But in my case, that is probably because the first 20 years of my life was an endless stream of very bad things happening to me, so the more minor stuff that appears in my dreams is much less on my mind than the much more damaging things people did to me (you know, the things I wish I could actually forget about).

    I often wake up in the morning feeling very troubled over what went through my mind while I was sleeping. On one hand, I know that I went through a lot of things that would have broken a lot of people, and I do feel traumatized by most of it. On the other hand, I am aware that so many people in the world have had things so much worse than what I ever had to deal with, so I feel as if I have no right to feel any pain or trauma over the things I went through. Logically, I know that the second statement I just made in that sentence is complete bullshit, but emotionally, that's how I feel deep inside myself.

    In any case, I wish I could offer helpful words, alas I find I am at a loss for them.

    So I will offer you a (((hug))), and let you know that I wish the best for you.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodlandWanderer View Post
    Yes, random stuff does happen, but just because something's random doesn't mean that it's not significant (but it doesn't mean that it is either)

    And next time think what you're writing before you post it, I and many other people (such as Butterfly Mage) will find that second statement incrediby offensive.

    Sure there are people who will claim to have had a repressed memory, and used it against someone in court when they didn't really remember a thing. However there are large numbers of people who have hidden traumatic experiences and had the memory triggered years later.

    Believe what you like, but I came here asking the community for help, and if you think it's appropriate to call my problem a 'scam', then I don't think you should be in the mature topics section.
    Dollars to doughnuts he's talking about it as a "scam" that is perpetrated on the person doing the remembering by the person facilitating the memory, as it has for nearly all the cases of which I am aware. I haven't made a study of it, but I am not aware of a credible case of recovered memory (I'd be interested to see one if anyone knows of it, too) and I have seen news stories debunking the memories and studies that have debunked the process. As a skeptic, I won't say it's impossible, but simply that there are probably more plausible explanations for the recoverey of a "repressed memory". Memory is not the unvarnished recorder of truth we'd like it to be and it can easily be distorted through suggestion. I myself have a strong memory of something that I am assured did not happen in my early childhood and no one benefits from lying to me in this particular case.

    I'm sorry you had this upsetting thing happen, but I think it's fair of people to suggest that it's likely there's nothing of significance causing it. All the same, it wouldn't hurt to ask some neutral questions of people who would have been around at the time. Could at least result in an interesting story.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodlandWanderer View Post

    Believe what you like, but I came here asking the community for help, and if you think it's appropriate to call my problem a 'scam', then I don't think you should be in the mature topics section.
    The scammer would not be you. It would be someone you go to for help. They will find a repressed memory even if they have to make one up because they don't get paid for diagnosing sleep disorders. And if they have to make one up it won't be pleasant. And there is no way you would be able to tell what they did.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by MessyMan View Post
    The scammer would not be you. It would be someone you go to for help. They will find a repressed memory even if they have to make one up because they don't get paid for diagnosing sleep disorders. And if they have to make one up it won't be pleasant. And there is no way you would be able to tell what they did.
    In which case I apologise for misunderstanding what you said, however please be careful in the future and consider if everyone will read a statement as you intended it to be read.

    I do agree that suggestion by a proffesional to 'help' you uncover a represed memory, could easily lead to a false memory being created, and that's why I'm cautious abou seeing anybody. However I so no reason why somebody can't remember it by themselves sometime, and verify it using other sources.

  10. #10

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    @MessyMan: I don't know of any doctor that would make up a diagnosis, they get paid either way weather they find something or not. As far as insurance companies are concerned a doctor will submit the findings good bad or indifferent in order to get paid.

    Having been in two different hospitals and four plus doctors over the years it really doesn't matter to anyone if progress is being made or not. Doctors hope for a patients sake that things can and will be resolved but they are a resource for people to help themselves.

    Back to the main topic, the human mind works in funny ways and the mechanics of the brain are even more mysterious (I think). I personally don't remember any dreams I have for about the last 6 years, prior to that most everything I dismissed as deja vu since I really didn't feel like BSing myself into believing precognitive abilities. When it comes to stuff I'm awake for there is more trauma in my past than I realize and try as I might I doubt I'll ever be able to recover most of my memory. My defense mechanisms have also set me up for forgetting the good and or current events as well.

    Tip: Don't read into stuff too much and don't go out of your way to make sense of nonsense. If you had a dream about a monkey eating a cheeseburger while riding a unicycle would you honestly try to make sense of that in the same fashion? Dreams are the brain's way of twiddling your thumbs.

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