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Thread: Confused about sexuality

  1. #1

    Default Confused about sexuality

    For the past month or so I've been having a small debate inside my head. I've been trying to figure out if I'm gay, bi, or straight. After the whole month I still have no idea what I am.

    I've thought about all possibilities and I can't seem to figure it out. I find both boys and girls cute and sexy but if I think about the possibility of being bisexual it doesn't feel right. Could there be any way to make it easier to find out what I am?

  2. #2


    Quote Originally Posted by kenshi View Post
    Some other stuff...Could there be any way to make it easier to find out what I am?
    Flip a coin?

    Also, maybe try and get into some relationship with people and stuff and see where that goes and what feels right. Experimenting and such. Nobody's can tell you what you like, you'll have to find out on your own /afterschoolspecialadive.

  3. #3


    That's why I'm trying to find out what I am. I don't want to get into the wrong relationship.

    Plus neither feel right to me, yet both feel right. It's confusing to speak about it.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by kenshi View Post
    That's why I'm trying to find out what I am. I don't want to get into the wrong relationship.

    Plus neither feel right to me, yet both feel right. It's confusing to speak about it.
    I'm afraid that, at your age, most relationships are short-lived and usually evolve around sex. So maybe you should take advantage of it and test the waters with either one or both genders. Much easier to make up your mind if you know what it's about, rather than just drawing up theories in your head.


  5. #5


    I think Slang and Peachy right, if you don't try you won't know. I know it's scary but it's the only way to find out. And I don't know your age, I guess you are young from Peachy's comment, so I'd say don't wait too long or it will be even more difficult as the more you wait, the more confused you are (talking from personal experience here)
    Last edited by PuerAeternus; 15-Jan-2010 at 09:30. Reason: added something

  6. #6


    Through My experience I learned that you discover your sexuality at a young age, through experimentation and trial and error. Both Peachy and Slang are right you need to get out there and test the waters. I was 18 when I came to terms with myself about being gay (I thought I could be Bi but alas it was not to be). You are young now is the time to experience different things and learn about who you are. I hope you figure it out and when you do You'll be a happier person

  7. #7


    This was me about 3 months ago. Going down the path and you really don't know what exactly you are? When we are all young, relationships are all about sex, and i can say that for myself. I am currently a virgin but I know that I am at my horniest and will probably self destruct come college time. The consumption that comes along with it, this can be one of the toughest decisions that one must face in their lives. It took me a while cause I just didn't feel that strong attraction that most men have with women and my personal self-interests of men blooming in. As of now, I am almost 100% sure that I am bisexual and sometimes it can be tough to accept it. I haven't come out yet to anyone outside of this site and that is usually the toughest part. I just think that my true self is my business and I don't give a fuck what others may assume or think. I have not had a relationship in over 2 years but that is another great story of complex levels. Just know that this decision won't come overnight and there are different levels to come at it. First there is finding out what you are, then comes personal acceptance (I am kind of still here). Just take your time and know that only you can know who you truly are.

  8. #8


    For me, what made the decision was how I felt emotionally, not sexually. Sexually, sure, girls were attractive, that worked. But the idea of going out with a female, the thought of having anything with them beyond sex, was completely off-putting to me. It is through that kind of thought process that I eventually came to the conclusion that I was gay. I'd say that while sex and your sexual feelings are a factor in this (a big factor for many), there's more to the self-discovery process than that.

    It's OK to try something out, too, even if you're afraid it might be the "wrong" type of relationship for you. It's hard to be sure what's right without trying it.

  9. #9


    It took me years too long to figure out just what I was, I wish I could have lived somewhere else where the gay community was more acceptable.

    If I were you I would experiment and try to figure it out that way, go with your gut feeling.

  10. #10


    Personally, I've stopped worrying about it... in fact, I've stopped worrying about finding someone.

    I will know, so why bother fretting over it until then?

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