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Thread: Given the choice...

  1. #1

    Default Given the choice...

    I have a fairly tough decision to make, and I'd really appreciate some advice on the issue, if anyone is willing to give some. ^^;
    If this is the wrong area to put this in or it's simply a bad idea, tell me. I'll do my best not to make a mistake like it again.

    Given the choice, would you choose to live with a friend who you know very well, but hide certain aspects of yourself (namely, your diaper wearing), or live with someone you don't know as well but be yourself completely?

    At the end of last year, my friend Keegan (who is more like a brother then a friend to me) offered to become my roommate. He gave me until October to raise enough money to fly over (he's in Melbourne, on the other side of the country). And although I love him to bits and I'd walk through fire and frost for him, if I choose to live with him I can't express myself as much as I'd like to, with both my furryness and my daiper wearing.
    A few days ago, a good friend of mine, Paul, offered to let me stay with him. He's the one who got me onto this site, and is also a furry. If I stay with him I can express myself the way I want to, 'cos he does the same thing and his roommates don't give a rat's ass. Paul lives in Sydney, also across the country.

    If I choose to live with Paul, then I can visit Keegan every so often, by driving up there (as soon as I get my driver's licence... >.>).

    Simply staying where I am isn't exactly a good idea, 'cos... well, it's boring down here, and to be honest, I need a roommate 'cos I haven't the foggiest idea how to look after myself completely. I can't cook for crap, last time I tried I gave myself food poisoning. >.<

    But given the choice, what would you do?

  2. #2

    Default

    Learn to cook?

    Just because you're room-mates doesn't mean they'll look after you. When you move out, you have to start taking responsibility for yourself. People won't want to share a house with you if you're just going to be a burden.

    When you're choosing where to live you need to take all sorts of things into consideration. How well are you going to get on with these people? What does the local area offer? How much rent will they charge you? Are there any job/schooling opportunities there? What are the leasuire facilities like in that area?

    You shouldn't be making your decision based on one aspect of your life. If your fettish means so much to you that you're basing your entire decision around it, then you probably need to get some help because that's not healthy.

  3. #3

    Default

    If I were you I would move in with my long, long time friend Keegan. Mainly for the simple fact you never lived with Paul and the basis for your friendship is diapers and furry interests. I am not saying he is a bad guy, I am just saying that one or both of you could end up not liking living together and if that happens it will make tension.

    with Keegan you fine and you can always keep the diaper and furry stuff to yourself. Plus in most cases true friends wouldn't give a shit at all if your into diapers for need or want, however if there's no reason to really tell keegan I suggest you don't..

    But overall I suggest move in with the person you actually known for a long time rather then a friend you only known online. If me and my older online brother were going to be roommates I would meet with him a few times first just to make sure we are actually compatible in real life to each others perspective lives.

  4. #4

    Default

    They say that you should never move in with your best friends. Because even though you are best friends now, once you are living together, that will start to wear down quickly.

    I learned this the hard way. While I didn't move in with them, I was at my best friend's house just about every day during my and senior year at high school. We were the best of friends and even referred to each other as brothers. However, being there every single day, did wear on us both. We tended to get bored more easily as time went on, and we also didn't talk to each other as much as we used to. I guess we just continued this every day because we were bored, and neither one of us was driving at the time. We got bored of each other's company, and it was causing our friendship to break because of it. We both agreed that I could continue to come to his house, but it would only be one day out of the week (normally Friday) rather than every day. After this agreement, our friendship quickly healed itself, and we have been going about the same ever since. We were like brothers, and still are, but we need time to be by ourselves. So it is not a good idea to move in with friends in my opinion.

    You mentioned that Paul has roommates already. While they might not care about him, they will probably have a completely different opinion of you. Do you want to leave them (probably complete strangers) with the first impression of "diaper?"

    Also, even if you do move in with someone, you should still show some Independence. Learn to cook, clean, look for a job in the area, etc... No one is going to allow you to stay around too long if you always are dependent on others.

    However, between the two I'd suggest the one you have known longer and have a deeper bond with. Even if you can't necessarily be "yourself" around him.

  5. #5

    Default

    Something I haven't mentioned, and I probably should have: I've never met Keegan IRL. It's simply that I've known Keegan for over 2 years now.

    I'm hardly helpless when it comes to pulling my weight, either. I can do the laundry, do the dishes, and clean very well (thanks to my grandmother ^^).

    Paul is Paul_Fox, he's on adisc too.

    I do have 10-odd months to make my decision, and during that time I can get to know Paul better, and contact his roommates, as well. If I have money left over I might be able to afford a visit, as well.

  6. #6

    Default

    You can't really move in with someone you've never met before. Thats just ludicrous!

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sammybear View Post
    Something I haven't mentioned, and I probably should have: I've never met Keegan IRL. It's simply that I've known Keegan for over 2 years now.
    Suggestion in phrasing: if you haven't met someone, it's confusing to others to refer to them as "more like a brother than a friend". I get that you may feel this way, but the word carries with it the weight of considerable familiarity that just doesn't translate well to never having actually met the person unless you back it up with other information. Makes it harder for people to give you good advice.



    I'm hardly helpless when it comes to pulling my weight, either. I can do the laundry, do the dishes, and clean very well (thanks to my grandmother ^^).
    As Talula said, learn to cook. You don't need to be a prize winning chef, but you should be able to make toast, an egg, soup, safely fry up a cutlet, that kind of thing. If cooking isn't your thing, that's fine, but it's not reasonable to just throw up your hands and be useless with it.



    Paul is Paul_Fox, he's on adisc too.

    I do have 10-odd months to make my decision, and during that time I can get to know Paul better, and contact his roommates, as well. If I have money left over I might be able to afford a visit, as well.
    So it's a choice between two people you haven't met, but one that you have a longer/deeper acquaintance with? I think I'd schedule a visit to see both of them sooner rather than later to make things clearer.

  8. #8
    EmeraldsAndLime

    Default

    As someone who's met Paul - and his room mates for that matter - I can at least lay to rest the point about whether his room mates would care about the diapers.

    They don't.



    People who don't really know each other move in together all the time. At least where I from there's flyers everywhere asking for a roomie. But still, moving across the country to live with people(s) you've never met before is a bad decision in general. I'd say meet them both first... even if you decide against living with either of them, at least your decision will be an informed one.

  9. #9

    Default

    If you can move in with Paul and visit Keegan, can't you move in with Keegan and visit Paul? I'd move in with Keegan because I know him better, but I'd go to Paul's place every so often to wear diapers and be a furry.

  10. #10
    Peachy

    Default

    The question is: Why do you have to move at all, at your age? I'm not saying Paul is a bad person or anything, but as Lukie already pointed out: You need a really good reason for moving several 1000 km away from your current home to move in with people you haven't met before. That should be your first concern really, rather than deciding who to move in with.

    Peachy

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