I feel I must write this, cause other then the horrible thoughts of me still being
a selfish prick in Val's parents eyes.. I have other issues..
A certain ongoing problem within the Babyfur/Abdl community, that I wish I could solve..
I write this cause I am the few who are Victimized by it..
There are reasons why Babyfur girls and Girls who enjoy diapies are too far and few..
One of em is one I really dislike and its destroying any chance of me ever finding a
decent mate other then Val....
How every guy Hoards them like they are some Piece of Gold.. like they are a friggin trophy on a stand.. and they MUST have THEM.. its like a Hit item on Sale, and its a race to see who can have her first..Or impress her..
When a guy finds out a girl Likes diapies and wears them, they are immediately exploited.. desperate guys Jump in and ask an array of reckless and immature questions.. are you padded?are you wearing now? did you wet? when do you wet? do you like it? can I be your boyfriend?Would you ever poop?can I change you if you do?
Most of the time its "OMG your a GIRL?!!, and you WEAR DIAPERS?!".. Their minds go nuts at this.. and its immediately their ultimate goal.. they don't even consider the fact that the girl may just have a light interest in them, or might just be starting to get into em..
The fact that guys jump on this and hoard the poop out of them, scares them and makes them recluse back into their shell, for fear that she may attract more creepy horny guys..
Its SOO annoying when I hear about this..
Many time she could just have a curious interest in them, and then realize that it may not be such a good idea cause of all the creepy disgusting guys that will stalk her.. therefore totally ruining the whole experience..
Those who are defiant and have the strong will, and like it enough, will keep it to them selfs and hide, Only doing it within their privacy, because in the past they either dated, or have been bothered by desperate guys either looking for a mate, or a mommy...
I'm sorry.. but this is ridiculous.. I know this sorta thing has been going on for a VERY long time.. but now that I am grown up now, and alone again.. I am again affected by this terrible plight..
I feel this sorta thing is wrong.. for guys to only like a girl cause she wears..
That's an obsession, and a waste of time.. for both.. and it just kills the girls interest in a relationship in future guys with the same thing.. cause again.. she feels like it will only lead to the same thing..
This ruins it for guys like me who date, not only for the diapers, but for the personality, and Type of person they are, how they act, what they are doing in life, Sometimes what they love in life, and for who THEY are looking for Truely.. i go based on TRUE feelings.. Not Urges....
If a Girl I mate, Loves an wears Diapers that's nothing more then a bonus to me
it just makes me sure that I have nothing to worry about
same with being a Babyfur, or accepting of it..
Unfortunately, I can only date a girl who is a diapie lover.. because I cannot stand to give up or hide one of the few things that make me happy and feel secure..
Its a release for me to just relax.. and cub out. and be padded.. and to enjoy the feeling of it all.. sexual and Non sexual..
I enjoy living in the child like world because I feel free to be me.. who I really am
I only want a Girl, cause my heart demands it.. prefers it. and only has feelings for one, I wanna be the one who shares his life with that very special person,
I wanna live my life with one of the last remaining Good things left in life..
cause if there's anything that would make life not miserable.. ever.. is finally being in the arms of the person who knows it all and understands it all.. Nothing to hide.. nothing to worry..
It sucks.. I had all this with Jenni(Val)
I loved her farrr past the fact she loved and wore diapies, way far past the fact that she is a babyfur.. I saw her flaws, and didn't just look pass them and forget them, no, I made it my direction to help her with them, I fell in love with who she is.. our interests clicked and fit, and when I was actually being myself, and not some bratty asshole pity party, she was truely happy, I fell in love with the fact that she actually had a set direction in life, so i can actually have the chance to do what I had always wanted to do, and that is grow along with the Girl I love
To live and learn in life together, and thats bound to make the love even stronger then ever, its also bound to help you understand your partner, and how they work, so that you can happily live with them, it allows you to see what you have to give up and what you can gain by doing so..
If that's not true love..
then Guys.. Girls..
What the Fuck IS love then..
You don't just love somebody cause you "guess" that's what your supposed to do
You should already know if its right or not, and they the same..
yeah experimenting is fine, as long as both of em do it together and know..
Guessing is reckless.. and in something as important, and serious as a relationship, I wouldn't dare to guess on factors regarding the one I love
I do my research, and I FIND OUT.. I follow what I KNOW is true..
Before I flew out to Val, I knew... I knew it was gunna work out as long as I kept on working on it.. and not give up.. I would have had it made and me and her inseparable..
I Doubted myself, I disrespected the two most WONDERFUL people on the planet Besides Val, and that was her Loving parents..
And worst of all I never listened to their advice..
I don't know what was going through my mind.. but I know now.. that what I did was a most terrible thing.. and I would NEVER let myself make that mistake again..
But now, Nobody cares anymore, I fucked it up soo bad that I am not even trusted back at the house, or near Val, and I have to Fight, Just to get my belongings back.. cause everything I own, and everything I am, is still up there
I am regarded on that side, by her parents and her friends, and maybe even Kuromi, as an Obsessed self centered fool with no direction in life, no will to succeed, No want to better myself, and too lazy to go out and get it done...
And you know what.. I Really wanna change that!!!!, I really Do not want to live knowing that somebody out there whom I cared soo much about, now hates me because I was being something I am not..... I wanna Prove to them that I will fight as hard as I can to get through school, and find a job, and BE somebody!
Its just, I'm down here now, miserable, and lonely, my only guidance is the support of my family, and the advice of friends..
But.. none of them can I share with.. like I did Val
at the end of the day I am the same person, no different,
and that's how it will stay the longer I am here..
cause I am alone, and I have no release anymore..
When I was up there, I would look at Val, and smile, cause I knew that I was doing all this for someone as special as her.. and that made me proud to be alive..
That made me proud that I was bettering myself, cause I had somebody to better myself for..
Now.. I don't..
And don't go and say "Well then focus on bettering yourself FOR yourself"
Cause I will laugh at you, and then tell you that I have done this before,
I always end up doing the same thing.. and then I am on a steady life, living on what I have, and constantly on top of things, with nothing but me to live for
I just do what I always do and cherish what I have and, do what I love
all while getting nowhere, and achieving nothing.. yeah sure.. I was happy, but I wasn't making anybody else happy.. I had no reason to, I was alone..
I Fucking hate being alone...
Why have it all and have everything, with nobody to share it with at the end of the day?
I'd rather just have what I have and live it if I am to be alone.. and it will SUCK..
Least Val, Liked who I was, and fell in love with who wanted to be and who I really was.. Not a lot of girls like me for who I really am.. actually as of now.. None do..
Thanks for Readin..