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Thread: I'm Off! (for just a while)

  1. #1

    Default I'm Off! (for just a while)

    First and foremost: Happy New Year everybody!

    It has been almost a year since I joined this site; its crazy when you think about it. This site has really changed the way I see things (for the better); just over one year, I have grown to understand this "culture" (if that is what we want to call it) and have come to accept myself. I couldn't be more thankful for what ADISC has instilled in me and how it has helped me shape my perspective for different things. Moo, the mods, and everyone on this site - I thank you.

    However, my time here on the site has been... "restricted" per say. Life has gotten in the way...


    Some of you guys know that I was diagnosed with some really bad skin cancer earlier on in the year, and I had to go through chemo and radiation. I went through that; it sucked, but I'm here. Ever since the whole cancer thing though, nothing really has been the same. My mom's bipolar disorder (diagnosed by the way) has gone over the edge. Fits of madness and then deep sorrow and then large amounts of glee and happiness. Coming home everyday from school or work, I never know what mood she'll be in. Completely unpredictable. Along with that, my dad (who I have been close with for years) is now going through some sort of depression. I've spent a lot of time with him and have tried to help him, but he never wants the company. He just says to, in his own words, "fuck off." Its sad; a guy I've considered such a great guy and companion has just slumped. And there is nothing I can do about it. It pains me; I really just want my dad back...

    Long story short: some really bad shit has gone down over the past months. Something isn't right over here, and I honestly do not want to go into detail (nor do I want to think about it). The house has become unstable. I have lived in unstable homes before, but this has taken the cake.

    I was originally going to move out on my birthday (something that I had planned for a long time), but I realized I needed to get a lot of stuff done first. So over the last two months, I have gotten everything in order. Called every insurance company on the planet (health, car, etc.), Nevada Energy, and everything else you need to get settled. I found a nice little apartment in between work and school, and I put a down payment on it and such (my landlady is actually really nice ). Two good friends of mine are in the same complex (originally, we were all going to bunk together, but I thought that would get too complicated), so we can all cook for each other, etc. Main gist: everything's in order, I'm packed, and I'm ready.

    ...Tomorrow morning, I'm leaving this house, and I'm not coming back...

    My parents have become too apathetic to care, so there wasn't any fight. They're just letting me go. I will tell you one thing: I'm going to miss my dog like crazy. I wish I can bring her with me (maybe someday, but not right now). I'm going to miss this house, but I feel as its time to go...


    The main reason why I write this is because a) I felt like I needed to and b) I'm going to be gone for a while. I now have a lot of stuff to take care of (college tuition = daunts me haha), but everything should end up alright. I'll probably get back on here and post once we have everything in order, but I have a lot of stuff to take care of now. Once everything is stable and I get everything in balance (school, work, and... life), I'll start getting back on less sporadically.

    Hope this wasn't a tl;dr post haha! I wish you all the best!

  2. #2


    Aww, man Asher, a lot of this really sucks.

    I understand what it's like to live with someone who has a pretty bad case of bipolar disorder. My little bro has severe early-onset bipolar disorder, and he can be so frickin' scary at times. When he isn't on his meds, he's downright crazy in every sense of the word, to the point where he's hearing voices and unable to show emotion or move (that was true a long time ago). Fortunately, he's really accepted it and has been practically religious about taking his meds for a few years now, which I know is a problem for a lot of bipolar people.

    Having a mom who is bipolar though, would likely suck so much worse. I love my little brother, and he was sharing a bedroom with me for well over a decade, so I see a *lot* of him. However, I don't look for him to give me advice and help me learn how to better do things to live on my own in life. That's more the nurturer's role. My parents are supposed to be my nurturers, and in my case, they both have some real big problems, mood swings, and are recovering addicts, but they are at least more stable than your mom is, from the sounds of it. Your dad being depressed doesn't make things any easier .

    >Skin cancer
    Really? You may (or may not) have told me that before. If you did, and I didn't notice, I'm sorry. That's a pretty harsh thing to deal with. Cancer is such a scary thing. I have no personal experience with it, thankfully, but I have lost two (I believe) grandparents to it, as well as plenty of other acquaintances (including some kid who was my age when we were 15, though I didn't kno him, he was a close friend of a friend).

    I am so glad you survived the ordeal. It must have been really hard not to have much support coming from your parents though throughout this time .

    >Moving out
    I don't blame you, dude. With everything that has been happening in my family the past several years, and the constant strain it puts on me to live here, I am often thinking of leaving. Unfortunately though, even at 22, I'm still afraid I might not be able to handle things on my own yet.

    It looks like you will be able to support yourself though. You seem to be in a pretty good place, and taking all the right steps to make sure you are able to move out on your own officially without too many setbacks. An apartment, insurance, a job... you have done a lot to insure yourself that you'll be able to make it on your own that so many people just don't have at 18. You're a smart guy, and I'm confident you'll be able to make it on your own.

    >Break from ADISC
    I don't blame you. You have a lot more important things on your plate than communicating with us freaks . Seriously though, you have a lot of work to do to get yourself established. You don't need the distractions, which remaining active in this group would certainly be a diversion for you.

    I get the feeling you'll be back in a little while though . Take some time to get used to things on your own. Earn some money and keep up with the classes (about to start the winter semester, right? a week?). Adjust yourself to life in your own apartment, which I am thrilled to hear you will be in the same complex as a couple of really good friends. You'll still have privacy and the support of your buds, even though it comes at the cost of a larger rent payment and more individual responsibility, I suppose.

    After a while though, I'll bet you'll find living on your own allows you to be very free with your *BDLism. Just one of the perks of living on your own, and that would probably bring you back onto the forum eventually. When you come back, there will probably be a few new faces, and a couple changes, but I get the feeling a lot of the core users will still be here . I, for one, don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

    Well Asher, God bless you in all you do over the next several months as you get acclimated to life on your own. If you ever want to talk, just log back on to send a PM or whatever. We're still here for you bud. I'll miss seeing you around, but it's for good reason. So a big for you my friend .

    Remember we're here for you.
    Take good care, best wishes.

    (ps, congrats on post 600, lol)

  3. #3


    Sorry to hear you're moving out under circumstances like that. It's usually a hard thing, but it shouldn't be made moreso. I hope your folks will work out their problems. Those are things you can't solve, although keeping tabs on them to ensure they don't slide too far would be a good thing. Could be they'll need some outside help as time goes by.

    Anyway, congratulations on getting yourself together and making a positive change. It's a big adventure and there will be all kinds of fun and weird stuff along the way. See you back when you get things more settled

  4. #4


    I honestly have no idea what to say other than the generic "Good luck". I hope your life settles down and you can relax, good luck.

  5. #5

    Default that's the reason. I suspect your dad has crashed because of your mom. I know I have had my moments worrying over my wife's health. I'm always impressed by how upbeat and positive you always sound. Right now my mind is racing with how can I help you. Well, you know I'm here, so far away.

    I hope that someone in your school knows your plight. You may have to fall back on an adult for help. Perhaps there is a special teacher? You will find that expenses can mount up very quickly. Please stay on top of your health. You don't want to have another tumor show up and not jump on it immediately! Lastly, you must go to college. To not go would be such a waste. You are a great guy. I'm here for you, and I will stay in touch. My thoughts and prayers go with you. Love.....

  6. #6


    Thank you so much guys; I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

    Right now, I'm using my work computer just to check my email and such. I'm moved in, but I still have a lot to do haha!

    Again, thank you guys; I'll be back soon enough

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