Now that I've been living on my own (moved for college), I've been purchasing from websites like ABUniverse and Bambino. And everytime I do this, and everytime I put one of their products on, I feel a profound sadness and disgust with myself. I feel so cornered. Addicted to this junk. And it's the worst kind of addiction, because, unlike pot or whatever else, diapers are everywhere. I can't go without being reminded of them. There's no fucking escape. I hate it, guys. I hate this part of me, and I want it to burn.
A few months ago, I was institutionalized after trying to commit suicide several times. Pills. Cutting. The whole shitton. And the intensive therapy didn't help cause I couldn't tell anyone this particular part of my depression. There are other issues, but therapy doesn't seem to do much anyway. Pills don't do much. I dunno. It's putting me in a rut.
Have you guys dealt with anything like this? It really sucks.