Okay so here is the situation, i've been wearing diapers for close to 9 years by choice and in the last year, year and a half i've started to notice a reduced ability to "Hold on" and make it to a bathroom, mostly when i have to pee.
Im kinda worried because i think that i might be conditioning my body to getting used to not having to hold it, because when ever i am wearing i meditate on not having to think about it and just focus on completely relaxing to the point where i will sometimes dribble on and off for minutes at a time before i realize im getting wet. And even more so, more occasionally im starting to get a re occurring feeling that i've wet myself (familiar strain and then release of certain muscles, warmth in between legs and the feeling of cold dampness afterwards) but it always turns out that im not wet. Well not ALL the time but mostly.
Anyways its getting me worried because i think i might be losing control .. does anyone think this is possible or has ever heard of something like this .. im pretty clueless and not sure what i should do about it.