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Thread: Therapy

  1. #1

    Default Therapy

    It kinda sucks my second post is gonna be on the heavy side but it is what has been on my mind.

    So I was going through a mental breakdown at one point. I got word from my mom that my little brother was back in rehab due to a relapse. This is a big deal to me because I already lost my older brother to a crack overdose when he was twenty four. To have to go through it all again would just kill me. Needless to say this started affecting my performance at work big time where they eventually sent me to a therapist to get help. I had never been to one. I never liked the idea of someone prying into my personal life and thinking everything was fixable with drugs. I didn't want to be dependent on drugs most of all. The fear of the unknowing of how they would affect scared the hell out of me.

    I remember when I was driving there though, kept thinking in the back of my mind "take a Uturn, you're almost there ....screw this!". Before I knew it I was walking in the office door like a nervous wreck.

    We tackled quite a lot and def. made some connections to what was going on in my head. I continued to see her and each time it felt more right. Eventually I did tell her about the whole ab/dl thing. I don't know how I did it but it just felt like I already trusted her with so much as it is, why not go all out?

    I told her what bugged me the most is the fact I can't control these desires. As I stated I absolutely hate feeling dependent on something, letting it control me instead of vice versa. Though that issue is far too deep to handle it did help to hear from a professional level such as herself that it's pretty damn normal.

    She related it all to a "coping mechanism". It's how I deal with stress and probably explains why my ocd is through the roof. The rest of what she said is things I already knew considering I'm not exactly a moron BUT it was nice to hear her thoughts mirrored back from mine. When it comes out of the mouth of a professional such as her, it's a pretty amazing feeling.

    Basically though, we're not harming anyone. Everyone has something they do, be it behind closed doors even of how they cope with every day pressures. There's worse things you could be into as well, like rape, murder, sniffing blow off a diaper crack, slapping hoes who don't pay up. You get the idea In the end though we just gotta do what makes us happy and if it's not harming anyone then by all means don't stop. You only live once, make the most of it.

  2. #2

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    Well I've been to three therapist for a number of things. So yes they help but The last one I went to was crap. But like how you end your post in a deep way.

  3. #3

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    I find it surprising that that's the first in depth story about a therapist and AB/DL I've read. I've heard it a few times, but everyone usually just says it went well. Thanks for the extra details.

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but it's good that therapy is helping. She is definitely right about how this isn't hurting anyone so have fun with it. It is really cool hearing a therapist say it.

  4. #4
    Peaceful

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    I think you have a lot of guts to share that with a therapist, even though they have the therapist/patient confidence thing. I am in a therapy group, and have not gotten up the courage to tell them about it, and I don't know if I ever will. MEGA PROPS to you.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by link View Post
    I find it surprising that that's the first in depth story about a therapist and AB/DL I've read. I've heard it a few times, but everyone usually just says it went well. Thanks for the extra details.

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation, but it's good that therapy is helping. She is definitely right about how this isn't hurting anyone so have fun with it. It is really cool hearing a therapist say it.
    I never been a fan of short write ups. It's more entertaining when you actually provide details in what you're sharing. You wouldn't tell a story in real life like that so why should this be any different.

    Thank you for your kind words. Always appreciated.

    ---------- Post added at 11:33 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:26 AM ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by Peaceful View Post
    I think you have a lot of guts to share that with a therapist, even though they have the therapist/patient confidence thing. I am in a therapy group, and have not gotten up the courage to tell them about it, and I don't know if I ever will. MEGA PROPS to you.
    Here's some advice that helped me.

    When I was told by work that I need to see a therapist I was given a list of therapists that I was covered under by work. I wanted a female for one. On top of that I wanted a female whose name I could actually pronounce. I would feel quite awkward in a already uncomfortable situation if I couldn't understand what they were saying or if they were having trouble understanding me. I mean can you imagine spilling your heart out to only have to repeat it for them? Not fun.

    I also listened to the voice mails before I made my decision on who I wanted to start seeing. I wanted a soft female voice. It's the same deal with my search for a mom. I have to feel comfortable to share such close feelings going on in my head.

    If you have a male, this may not be true for you but I think it would set me off. Males usually carry this whole "you have to be tough, you have to be a man" ego to them. Yeah, no thanks.
    Last edited by statik; 03-Dec-2009 at 19:34. Reason: lack of proof read

  6. #6
    Peaceful

    Default

    Thanks for the insight. I will think about that.

  7. #7

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    Thanks for writing that, Statik. I've always wondered what a therapist would say and I appreciate your detailed post.

    I have a question:
    People always say that if something is bothering you, it helps to talk about it. Hear it all the time, right? Well, I've always found that when I tell a friend something that has been on my mind, it doesn't help at all. If anything, I feel worse, especially the next day, because I'm worried that they will think about what I told them every time I see them (and I don't want them to think less of me). So, my question, did it help to talk to a therapist? Did you actually feel better? I could see it helping because they don't really know you. The anonymity assist. It seems that it did for you, but just curious if you had any other thoughts on that particular matter.

  8. #8

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    Austin, it helped in so many ways and more.

    I helped me take down my mental wall that I've built for myself over the years. I remember when my parents first caught me red handed into this stuff and all the threats of sending me to the shrink scared me right into hiding. To come back years later, only with a adult head on my shoulders really put things into perspective.

    Like I said though, I did know some of what she told me already because I had done my own research or been exposed to people like myself who really didn't seem all that bad. I kinda put two and two together at that point. I have quite the background involving this stuff *grins* Not all good I assure you. I had a horrid upbringing and was raised in a extremely dysfunctional family. That's another post all together though, maybe one day. Sure there are plenty of times where I wish it just go away but then I remind myself if it wasn't for all this I probably wouldn't be where I am today. I probably wouldn't of met my better half. Hell all the friends I have accumulated over the years would of never crossed paths with me. It's things like that to make me step back and go "you know, this isn't all that bad". I honestly think it made me a better person in the end.

    Did that help or did I misread your question altogether?

  9. #9

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    Well statik i have to say that as much as your graphic avie scares me that this was a really nice topic, it's nice to have so rel insight almost a memoir to look into the effects of having a tutor. More amazingly it's great to hear a positive story, since i've too often come across people saying that they utterly despise therapy and that it only served to make them a more f*cked up individual. I think your account may serve to help a lot of people actually try therapy rather than just shooting the idea down like you planned to do at the beginning.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by statik View Post
    Did that help or did I misread your question altogether?
    Nailed it

    Thanks for responding.
    I have to say, I felt like I read a book teaser. I really want the whole story now. When you take the time to post about your history, I'll definitely be reading.

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