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Thread: Not 'visual'?

  1. #1

    Default Not 'visual'?

    Ahem. Um, this isn't something I would normally talk about, and is a source of great embarrassment for me. But here it is.

    Sexuality has never been a 'fo sho' thing for me. I have observed both attractive women AND men, but have never had romantic attachments to the latter. When I see an attractive person, I don't get the 'normal reaction' for a guy. Naked people don't seem to do anything for me. When I... ahem... commit a certain 'sin', I am thinking about fetish-related things, and not things related to people.

    That said, in all of the relationships I have been in, when I got close to the girl, held her, kissed her, and so on and so forth, the 'normal reaction' 'reacted' as it should.

    What does this make me, exactly? In our culture, men are depicted as visual creatures. We're supposed to thrive on seeing titties and all else that is unseen on a lady - or, for some, on a man. I seem to enjoy the intimacy of a relationship, the romantic aspect as well. What the fuck am I? Is this normal? Gahhhh.

  2. #2


    Firstly, yes you are normal. All it means is that you are probably more in touch with your feelings than most people, and that isn't a bad thing. Don't let society cram you into a predetermined box, you are who you are and that is normal for you. This preconseived notion that male and females are only allow to do this, or think a certain way is F'd. Both 'species' constantly push into the others so-called box all the time, but mind you it does seem more one sided because of the belief that females are the weaker sex, and therefore guys shouldn't "lower" themselves and become weaker, total bullshit.

  3. #3


    I don't think there's anything wrong with turned on whilst actually being with a woman, but not turned on looking at porn or not fantasising about women.

    I'm not sure if it's 'normal' in general (most guys fantasise about women), although I'd guess it's pretty normal for people with fetishes.

    Looking at breasts, or other parts, isn't really much of a turn on for me, but if I'm kissing somebody that's a turn on. Really the idea of sex is more arousing than the visuals of the female body... I think the macho stereotype of
    "Look, breasts! Somebody give me a high five!"
    is pretty false.

  4. #4


    Congrats! You're not like the a lot of the male population! You're better than normal!

    It's people like you that make true romantics happy! :heart:

  5. #5


    Wow I am not alone... Naked Woman do not do much for me. I am more of the cuddly type.

  6. #6


    Same thing for me, man. I think it's a fetish thing. As in, yeah I think women are sexy, but I can't get off unless I'm physically there with her. Porn does almost nothing for me unless the fetish object is present (in this case, a diaper).

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by Possibly Insane View Post
    What the fuck am I?
    You're a person. Any other label is irrelevant. Labels are used as either to be part of the social norm, or to better explain yourself to other people. In both cases, labels are bad because the social norm is just horrible and you should take your time to explain who you are to other people, like you did here. You obviously know what you like as you clearly explained it to us, so don't worry about what anybody else thinks. Just go with what you like, no matter what it is, and you'll do fine.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Possibly Insane View Post
    What the fuck am I?
    You are lucky. I would love to get to experience romantic attraction.

    Human sexuality is not remotely as certain as the stereotypes make it out to be. Unfortunately, our society doesn't talk about sexuality much in the open and thus society (especially the conservative, religiously-strict elements of society) often defaults to assuming that the common stereotypes are the only things that are proper.

    The truth is that there is no objectively right or wrong form of sexual desires. There are actions you could take based on those desires that would be wrong because they infringe on others' rights, but beyond that, it doesn't matter whatsoever. If you don't care for looking at girls, but you enjoy physical contact, then so be it as long as whoever you touch and possibly go further with consents.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by Chillhouse View Post
    Same thing for me, man. I think it's a fetish thing. As in, yeah I think women are sexy, but I can't get off unless I'm physically there with her. Porn does almost nothing for me unless the fetish object is present (in this case, a diaper).
    That's exactly it.

    Thanks everyone. I guess human sexuality can't be divided into three or four different categories. Must be a more fluid sort of thing. It's interesting... reading back (cause when there's a question, I need answers), I found that sexual labeling didn't start until the 20th century. Maybe society has conformed to what has been forced upon us?

  10. #10


    I think several things come to play on this topic. I've noticed that most of us are significantly more intelligent than the average, so we think and react differently than the televised stereotype. We're constantly being bombarded through the media, t.v., movies, music, how males and females are supposed to act in sexual situations. But lets face it, we are not those people. We are far more complicated, diapers being one big example.

    Quite frankly, I'm more turned on by cartoons of women and guys, than I think I am by the real thing. No wonder so many of us list ourselves as asexual. Cartoons don't smell, don't excrete something you might not want to touch, and don't make demands from you...haha. If you don't believe me, look at our furafinity members.

    Anyway, all I'm trying to say is that none of us is a stereotype, nor should we feel guilty if we don't live like one. Sex is complicated. There is a lot more than just the human body. There is personality, the human spirit, commonality and passion. All of these fall into the mix. But like I've said before, there nothing like having sex with someone who passionately turns you on. It never gets better than that.

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