(first and foremost, sorry for being such a stranger!)
I've been going through a lot of problems since I've last talked to you guys. I was in a 2.5 year relationship with a guy that I confided my secret to. He promised me he wouldn't tell, but did anyways. After beating me up and cheating on me 4 times, I decided to leave as he told people close to my my secret as I tried to do damage control. Ever since then, I've been so ashamed of myself for not only letting my secret out, but was ashamed at what I was because of the awful things people said about me.
Now, I've been in a relationship with someone else, for about 10 months now. We suffered a lot in the romance department because of my fetish and inability to truly accept who I was: I couldn't tell him my kinks because it would scare him and he would do the same as my ex did. Also, I felt so...unattractive about my surpressed feelings. So long story short, our relationship plummeted. We just talked after not seeing eachother for a week. He showed up at my house crying, begging to be with me because he realized the error of his ways (he was always needy and materialistic, wanting me to spend 100% of my time with him). I told him I would drive to his house after work to talk.
I had my mind set that I wouldn't get back with him. And he told me something that completley opened me up. He told me that I need to love myself before I love anyone else. And I told him that I don't love myself because there's parts of me I have a hard time accepting. He poked and prodded and I told him my secret. He wasn't shocked. He wasn't angry. He was obviously curious haha. He told me that he still loves me for me, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to help this relationship, even if it means putting one on himself. He was worried I was going to be a pedophile or into beastiality, and he was so thankful that all I was worried about was the fact that I like to wear diapers. It made me feel good though, to know that he is willing to do something he doesn't necessarily understand, to help me love myself and be comfortable with who I am.
I'm sorry for wasting thread space, but I'm so happy right now, I thought I'd share it with you guys.