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Thread: Any ideas on how to get my wife to keep me in diapers?

  1. #1

    Default Any ideas on how to get my wife to keep me in diapers?

    Any ideas or suggestions? Or do you think it's just plain over? I'm 29 but I've always loved diapers ever since I was the age of six. I met my wife 6 years ago. I was supposed to go into the military but I chickened out and ran out of state because 3 days prior I had met her online while looking for an AB Mommy in the AOL Diapers Chatroom. She claimed to be one but over time I found out that she is not simply because she usually gives me my way and not her's aka mommy's if this makes sense. Shouldn't it be Mommy is always right vs baby I would think?

    I think I might've posted this in the wrong forum earlier. Not sure which is the right for this topic but here it is again. Sorry Admin for the double. If it's wrong could you please move it or tell me which is right?

    Well anyways. She was into it for awhile but then it was like she lost all interest in the whole ordeal. Maybe she grew tired of it. Whichever she says she wants nothing to do with it anymore on occasion when I've hinted to her and I have tried putting off diapers alot but it always ends up coming back to me and I have to have one sooner or later reguardless otherwise I get really moody. She knows it but it's like she doesn't care.

    Another thing to add to this is that we have 3 kids but she still calls me her big baby at times which confuses me. It's like she's more then one person at times. Idk. I just know it's frusterating. I love her and all but I want to stay in diapers and be a baby but yet I can't it feels like. My kids have seen me and they just think daddy is being silly by playing with them so I know that's not an issue.

    I'm open to any comments about this whole ordeal...

  2. #2


    Wow....that's a lot to deal with. I think you ought to have a sit down talk with her and try to determine how she feels. Sometimes people change over time. She may have changed since she started having children. That can be a big life changing event. She now is a real mommy to those children, and she may no longer have the need to be a secondary mommy.

    If she doesn't want to mommy you, but accepts your diaper use, consider yourself lucky. Most wives wouldn't, so you are ahead of the game in that respect. You'll just have to learn how to adjust under the changing conditions.

    Lastly, I would not wear in front of my children. Remember that they will continue to get older and mature. Their attitudes will change. They will want to see you as a stable part of the family, in other words, their father. As fathers, we have our roles to play. These include being that strong male figure. We are teachers and nurturers, showing strength, love, caring and sensitivity. There are appropriate times for each one of these. As for diaper use, it is an extension of our sexual self, so I don't think our children should see it; just my opinion.

  3. #3


    That's a tough one for me to answer as I am DL not AB. But I think female partners in general will have a harder time accepting the AB lifestyle. I become more affectionate towards my wife when I am diapered and she likes that. I only wear in moderation, to prevent it becoming an obsession that interferes with our lives.

    The most important thing I think is to be receptive to her wants and needs. If she feels loved and gets lots of attention, she'll do more and more to make you happy. Effective communication is always a big help too.

    Good luck!

  4. #4


    thanks for the input. its good to have an outside look at whats going on sometimes. thanks again.

  5. #5


    I agree with dogboy, you are going to be a role model for those young children, as they grow-up they'll think its alright to be in diapers so they wont want to get potty trained and if they do, they might be arrogant and so-on.

  6. #6


    She could be upset with your difficulty in being pleased, or at least that's how she could be looking at it. You get a mommy, then you complain that she's not doing it right (always giving you your way), then you complain when she tires of the whole thing and walks away. A theory, mind you.

    Playing devil's advocate a second time, I know if I saw my girl wearing diapers in front of our children or being too openly babyish, a big talk would follow that. Maybe her style isn't as confrontational as mine, though. Maybe she hopes that by ignoring that side of you, it'll just go away. Again, huge theory.

    Really, I'm just grasping at straws from what you gave us. There's a lot more to this situation, obviously. Please excuse the broad strokes I had to paint with. My friends usually come to me for creative ideas about situations. lol

  7. #7


    THis sounds like a terribly complex situation, and it's one I recognise myself. I am married with three kids. Differences: I am a lot older than you (47), and I have never mentioned my ab side to my wife, because I know she would never be accepting. She's not altogether kinkless, but I know her very well indeed; she would not be remotely interested in treating her husband of 11 years as a baby.

    Aby, I think in your case the fact that you've had children has changed everything for your wife. I'm sure she feels its not appropriate for you to wear in front of the kids, and I must admit I agree with her. Perhaps she feels, but hasn't clearly said, that ab behaviour doesn't belong in the house at all whilst they're still kids.

    As for whether there's any chance of getting her to diaper you, it sounds very much as though she's told you no quite clearly. You might find that once the kids are grown and out of the nest, her attitude might change; but in the meantime you should do everything you can to enjoy ordinary sex, and to make her happy too - that might, ironically, help you in the long run!

    I think this probably sounds hard and I don't want it to be. Because I fully understand your desire for your wife to treat you like a baby - it's one I share. (But with MY wife, not yours. Ho ho ho.) I just think that the awful truth is this - we all have to be quite grown up about being babies. And of course I would expect (for instance) a couple who were into swinging or S and M to have similar standards where kids are concerned.

    'Not in front of the children!' My parents' generation used to say that about arguments. But I think it applies here too.

  8. #8


    not sure how u could get her to keep u in diapers but good luck

  9. #9


    Hey, AByHeaven. I really respect your post on this thread. I think it's honest, mature and open. I'd like to take a shot at offering some thoughts. First though, I'll outline my own situation so you know where I'm coming from.

    I am 23, female and not yet married. I have been with my fiance for over 4 years now, I recently began a house share with him and we are in the process of planning a wedding. I use adult nappies for emotional fulfillment and my fiance has no interest in them. My fiance does not like my usage of nappies, but he respects and allows my behaviour. In return, I keep it occasional and discreet. I have no children, although we plan to have some one day.

    Ok. I hope you'll take the useful bits of what I say and discard anything naive and unhelpful. I'm going to be very honest, but not unkind I hope.

    First, it seems from what you say, that your wish to have an AB Mommy is greater than your wish to have a wife. Your wife can and has been a AB Mommy, but there are clearly many, many other roles a wife plays and an AB Mommy is merely one of the important roles your wife plays in your relationship. Equally, an AB is only one of the important roles you play in your role as husband and father. Your wife is also your friend, mother to your children, mutual adult lover, sharer of household chores, sharer of financial responsibilities and many other things. You are the other side of all those things and that is awesome. Your relationship is incredible. All those roles working in synchronisation to make a family unit. That is very cool and I look up to you for it. I hope too that it puts your AB desires deeper into context. They might have to become an ocassional kink for the bedroom after the kids are asleep, or something like that. I think dogboy's post regarding kids was very wise.

    You say your wife sometimes still calls you her 'big baby' and it confuses you. That's understandable, she used to devote her time to you being the big baby, but now there are so many other directions for her time and energy, that babying you comes to the forefront only ocassionally. You may have to adjust your expectations and take a more realistic perspective. You started off with an AB Mommy, then a girlfriend, a fiance, a wife and a Mom to your children. You don't really have an AB Mommy so much now. But what you do have is very valuable.

    My second thought is that your wife is Mommy to three children and ocassionally to her husband. So your wife gives a lot out. She sounds like a brilliant woman. But everyone needs care and attention, your wife included. I'm sure you are mindful of that. But please make sure you aren't only thinking about what you need or want out of your relationship, but also about what your wife needs. I'm not sure it's fair to wish her to be Mommy to three children and a husband. As a Dad, you know way better than I do about what it means to bring up three kids, and I'd guess she needs you as the man, more than you as the baby, at least at the time being.

    For my own marriage prep, I read a book by Rob Parsons, called the 'Sixty Minute Marriage'. In there the author said he counselled a married couple one time and he got the woman alone and said, 'You must selflessly commit to every need of your husband' and then he got the man alone and said, 'You must selflessly commit to every need of your wife'. Now their clashes were only when they were trying to put each other first. Sure, it's idealistic, but it has a great point to consider.

    You sound like you've given some thought to this though, because you say you've 'tried putting off diapers alot but it always ends up coming back'. It's good of you to put your wife first there, and I can see it was a real effort for you. Perhaps you and your wife could have a conversation about where ABness fits into your life and relationship as it is now. I'd hope that you could come up with an idea of how to incorporate it, but in a way that suits you both with your family to care for. I respect (and know first-hand) that desires can't just disappear, but they can be given their place. For example, I like to enjoy a few drinks in the evening, but it began to get too frequent to be healthy, so my fiance and I agreed that twice a week, on specific days, we would enjoy a few drinks together, and I endeavor to put it out of my mind on the other days. Maybe you and your wife could agree to something like that. For example, maybe you can wear your diapers discreetly under your clothes, out of sight of your children and change them yourself, but she might aim to baby you once a month? Just an example, that might not suit either of you, but the idea is that the solution does suit you both and each other's needs are upheld.

    Now one warning if you do bring up a conversation: Be mindful of how it sounds when you begin. You might be thinking of her needs, but if you start with something along the lines of, 'You never treat me like you're an AB Mommy anymore...' and she's had three kids demanding things from her all day, and maybe other family, a boss etc demanding things from her, she might not take too kindly to what might initially seem like another demand. So, try starting by talking about how you want both her needs and your desires to find a fitting place, or something along those lines.

    I hope, that the question you asked in your original post was really just a catchy title. I hope that instead of, 'Any ideas on how to get my wife to keep me in diapers?' what you really mean is, 'How can I balance my desires to have an AB Mommy wife, with my care for my family's changing needs?' Ok, I realise that sounds a bit 'Dr Phil' but I really think that if you put your desires first, you might run into trouble. But if your attitude is good, you can make a mutually fulfilling compromise.

    Thanks for letting my say what I think. I hope you both work out a really good solution.

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