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Thread: After a mature opinion

  1. #1

    Default After a mature opinion

    Hi Guys and Girls

    On so its 7:53am on a Sunday in Australia at the moment.

    I just woke up after having a really strange dream.

    Background:

    I have thought now for about a year maybe more that i could have been abused as a child - nothing specifically makes me feel this way - except for when mum mentions on of dads business trips we all went on and i get a really weird warm feeling in my stomach.

    So any way the dream....

    So i was young in my dream - maybe 10 -12 years old. I was in my current house. (we have only been here for 1 year and a few months) I was alone for some reason in our media room down stairs and there was a man in there with me, sitting next to me.

    Anyway for some reason i was holding his hand - then i get this feeling that i am unsafe and i let go of his hand and put it on my lap. This guy then puts his hand on my knee and slowing starts just rubbing his hand up my leg and back down to my knee. After a while he stars to get close to the inside of my leg.

    This is where i am wondering if this dream represents my past somehow. because i didn't stop him from rubbing the in side of my leg..why??

    A little while longer he is undoing my fly and is doing what i now know as fondling my penis and testicles. What makes me feel guilty is that i started (in my dream) to get an erection...

    I would like it if admin could maybe stop those under 16 or 18 from reading this if that is possible.

    But for those older i would love to hear your thoughts.. should i tell someone like mum ( dad is not around so the next guy is my older brother) or will this create unneeded tension.... i don't know why i feel guilty it was only a dream right?

  2. #2

    Default

    I would ask your brother if anything like that happend to him, maybe you have a trusted freind, or close relitive, in your life that was doing you wrong, and if he did it to you he may have done it to your older brother.

    Or it could be just a vivid dream, and you somehow want something like that to happen to you.

    I think your mom would go nuts if you asked her, and there was someone in your life like that.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ballucanb View Post
    Or it could be just a vivid dream, and you somehow want something like that to happen to you.
    Just because he dreamt about it doesn't mean he wants something like that to happen to him. Just sayin.

  4. #4

    Default

    dreams can be quite dodgy; they're a mix of fantasy and reality. you've heard of 'false memory' haven't you? i'd suggest being very careful about how you deal with the interpretation of the dream. perhaps a tactful enquiring about the history and events of the 'trips' would help develop a better understanding of the situation? or maybe reviewing the type of your relationship with your dad, primarily, as a lack of contact (physical and emotional) between you and him in your childhood may be manifesting itself in this strange way. i can explain that in more detail, if needed but, the point is that there's a range of possibilities and you are dealing with two different aspects of yourself in the first instance (the sexual adult viewing the non-sexual child), so it can get all a bit mixed-up.
    above all, though, if the idea of having possibly been abused is bothering you, you need to get information which is more accurate, or more sensible, than a dream or gut-feeling; otherwise, it just leaves unanswered questions which will annoy you more than anything else.

  5. #5

    Default

    thanks for the responses

    ade can you explain what you said about the relationship with dad and reviewing it etc a bit more.

    FYI he was diagnoised with cancer when i was in yr 3 and died when i was in year 11. i was 15 or 16 at the time, i'm now 21.

  6. #6

    Default

    If you can imagine it you can dream it. I haven't ever had a dream I thought was remembering a buried memory. Anxieties, especially of the "what if?" sort often come out in dreams.

  7. #7

    Default



    I would like it if admin could maybe stop those under 16 or 18 from reading this if that is possible.
    I do think we are all old enough to know about this sort of thing, it should be okay. PM me if you want me to delete it.


    I remember when I was in grade one and two, I would get on the bus and sit beside my best friend, Jesse (yes, a boy and I can't spell his name right). We would play his secret game were we would make a tent out of our jackets so noone could see us, and undo our pants. It usually involved me making contact with him in 'that way' but soon after he wanted to involve mouths. I feel really guilty about it, I didn't want to do it but he always talked me into it. At reccess he got me into the bathrooms, on the way home it got different and wierd. It got worse untill grade three when he moved away from the school.

    I never told anyone, not my teachers or parents or anyone. I have dreams about it now, except we are in a locked class room. Its terrible.

    I would say see a therapist about it if it continues. They can really help with it if its bothering you. There are alot of things you can do to block it out as well but telling mom may or may not be progressive. If shes understanding, by all means. That might be a great place to start. If not though, or if the topic makes her really uncomfortable, stay away from it.

    As I said before, get me to delete it if you don't want a minors opinion. I will without a second thought. I respect your privacy to the matter. It is, after all, a very sensitive topic.

  8. #8

  9. #9
    Mesmerale

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dfl88 View Post
    [. . .] I would like it if admin could maybe stop those under 16 or 18 from reading this if that is possible.

    [. . .]
    Sorry, no advice for you. I can barely see straight after my 8 hours at work..

    Just wanted to let you know that, as far as I know, it isn't possible. If you post a thread in, say, "Mature Topics", than everyone with access to Mature Topics can see it (Which is everyone, Guests included.)

    Post it in "Regulars" and everyone who is a Regular can see it.

    In "Requests" and all the Mods/Admins/Webmaster can see it.

    ADISC isn't an age-restrictive site.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ade View Post
    dreams can be quite dodgy; they're a mix of fantasy and reality. you've heard of 'false memory' haven't you? i'd suggest being very careful about how you deal with the interpretation of the dream.
    You went where I was going to go. I think this is not the first that we've seen with "recovered memories" (via dreams, hypnosis, and so forth) in this forum. The advice here is sound: you need objective information if you're going to breathe a word of it IRL.

    If this dream persistently and vividly recurs or really throws you all out-of-whack, then you should consider the option of therapy. A one-off dream could be integration, "noise," wish fulfillment, a reaction to an outside noise, etc.

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