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Thread: Mature AB/DL topic: 24/7

  1. #1

    Default Mature AB/DL topic: 24/7

    Hello ADISC,

    I, like most people here, have been striving to find a balance--to somehow manage to integrate my life and my interest in wearing diapers.

    I've spent the greater part of my life, so far, believing that moderation and restriction would help me to find balance in my life. For example, I would only allow myself to wear (not use) diapers to bed--nothing more.However, I have been trying out those methods for several years and I have yet to find any sense of balance.

    Thus, I've decided to try wearing 24/7, and I have spent more than two weeks in diapers thus far. I've been writing my thoughts in a journal and carefully monitoring my emotions during this time, and I feel like I would still like to continue wearing 24/7.

    However, I suppose I might want to clarify what I feel would be a sense of balance--especially considering that many people here would be up in arms about someone who actually enjoys 24/7 behavior and may be associated with one of those creepy exhibitionist people.

    Well, for one thing, I strongly desire to keep this discrete. I find no value or pleasure in shoving diapers in people's faces. I also do not desire to wear babyish clothing; that was a phase of my life that ended a long time ago, and would have fallen into the "exhibitionist" category.

    In my terms, balance would be integrating these "desires" successfully into my lifestyle. From past experience, treating diaper-wearing as an end-of-the-day "treat" did not equate to any sense of balance, because I felt like I was living two entirely separate lives. Often, the distress of having to hide this other "precious" side of myself, caused anxiety that strongly bothered me.

    I consider wearing diapers 24/7, so that I will not have to maintain a veil between two separate lives. If I become incontinent, then so be it. I feel that wearing diapers is a part of who I am, and who I see myself becoming. Not only does incontinence seem to offer the safest way to express this part of my personality, but wearing diapers 24/7 also helps me to stabilize my mood throughout the day and night by decreasing the strength of the desire for diapers.

    Honestly, I don't seek to increase the enjoyment of diapers; I've been there, and I've decided that I would prefer to have stability. I like to wear them, and I feel satisfied-enough to know that I can wear them without putting myself on an emotional roller-coaster.

    Aside from that, wearing diapers has pushed me to grow on several new personal levels. Ironically, I've actually become more confident, socially, because wearing diapers around others has given me the opportunity to identify and understand counter-productive aspects of my ego that had otherwise existed below the surface (aspects which have, for years, hurt my self-esteem), and which had severely limited my ability to socialize with others--but don't interpret this as to say that I cannot socialize without wearing diapers. Regardless of whether or not I wear diapers, I will continue to change and grow as a human being.

    When I resolve those personal challenges, I might anticipate that the desire to wear diapers will resolve completely--at which point I may choose to toilet-train myself again. However, it is more-likely that the desire will persist--even if only marginally.

    I figured-out, not too long ago, that I would be wearing diapers for the rest of my life--because I would constantly be attracted to them and would have to fulfill that need, however frequently. Choosing to embrace diapers, rather than to hide them, has made a world of a difference. The pros of 24/7 diaper-wearing far outweigh the cons, so I see every reason to continue living in such a way.

    Maybe, I don't need an opinion on how to embrace incontinence. It seems pretty obvious, from reading my own words, that I would like it. However, I would greatly appreciate an opinion on how to deal with family who know (or will know) about it.

    My parents know I want to wear diapers, and they know I want to become incontinent. Of course, they don't approve of it: they don't like the thought of me being in diapers again (unsanitary conditions, work put into toilet-training rendered pointless, etc...), and because they are worried it could ruin my social life. This last one, however, was redundant, considering that I've not ever had a good social life to begin with--and especially considering that my social life has actually improved with the addition of diapers.

    So, before I can let down my final mental barriers, I will need to resolve this with them. Though I am an adult, they refuse to let me wear diapers around them--which means if an agreement is not reached.......things might get rough. I love my parents, and I don't want them to leave me. However, I also absolutely refuse to continue living an unbalanced and secretive life.

    I am not sure how to approach this, at all. Maybe, if I can show them that my life has actually improved during incontinence, then they might approve of me (and an immediate example would be my social life). Of course, my understanding of my own parents/family will be far superior to anyone else's, but it would still be helpful to see my situation from a different perspective. In the very least, I could emerge more optimistic.


    Does anybody have any sage advice to offer me, as I travel this path?


    And on another note, I have a concerning medical question.

    Night-incontinence should not begin to happen for several months...but I've already begun to experience it (after three weeks). Last night, for example, I tried going to bed without wearing a diaper--but I woke up wet in the middle of the night and had to change-out the sheets. I think I ought to consider seeing a doctor, just in case this turns out to be something unrelated to wearing diapers 24/7. However, I have a feeling it is strongly tied to 24/7 behavior, because I have worn diapers at night for years without using them (and wanting to), and I have finally given myself the permission to start wetting them; it is as if I have finally dropped into a mold that was constructed as the result of spending years of being kept separate from my desires.

    Regardless, might it be a good idea to check with a urologist? Thank you.

  2. #2

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    Hmm... I was thoroughly obsessed with diapers pre-pubescent then twice as much post-pubescent. But of course in the stone ages, before sap had been invented, let alone with the advent of like-minded people discovering each other and forming communities (there was no where to stick a usb cable into clay tablets) the thought of 24/7 was a fantasy, but no more likely to be realized than faster-than-light travel, at least for me.

    How your 24/7 affects you I can not say. For me, it would interfere with real life too much. And besides, I do not want to take the risk of overdoing anything lest I get tired of it... like records I overplayed and could not enjoy for years afterward. Same for certain things I ate too often and lost the taste for. I would say be careful what you wish for. And hope it is reversible if need be in the future.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kif View Post
    In my terms, balance would be integrating these "desires" successfully into my lifestyle. From past experience, treating diaper-wearing as an end-of-the-day "treat" did not equate to any sense of balance, because I felt like I was living two entirely separate lives. Often, the distress of having to hide this other "precious" side of myself, caused anxiety that strongly bothered me.

    I consider wearing diapers 24/7, so that I will not have to maintain a veil between two separate lives. If I become incontinent, then so be it. I feel that wearing diapers is a part of who I am, and who I see myself becoming. Not only does incontinence seem to offer the safest way to express this part of my personality, but wearing diapers 24/7 also helps me to stabilize my mood throughout the day and night by decreasing the strength of the desire for diapers.
    I feel the exact same way. I hate the idea that I am living two lives, and only having diapers as a treat. I feel more myself when in diapers, It's hard to explain. I have been considering going 24/7 for quite a while, and the more I weigh the pro's and con's the further I come to a conclusion.

    Good luck with your choice to wear 24/7 I hope it helps you find your balance.

  4. #4

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    Thank you, everyone, for your support and advice.

    I've done a bit more research, on my own, and I've found an article that applies to my situation very well:

    Susan's Place Transgender Resources for Transsexuals and Crossdressers:Reference Library

    Now, I am not transsexual...but the changes that could occur to me, as the result of embracing this identity, have similar implications. The identity that my parents have known will change--but my perception won't, because I will be embracing an identity that had always been there. I will still be a successful and motivated person; in fact, I may become even more motivated, once I embrace my identity.

    My parents have been bargaining with my diaper-wearing my whole life, and they've tried to control it by telling me what I could and could not do. Now, I've decided to move on and to end the stagnation--I've decided to grow up and be the adult, rather than the submissive child.

    I feel, very strongly, that diapers are a part of my identity--maybe in the same way that a transsexual man may identify with a woman (vice-versa)--and now that I've begun to embrace this identity, I've been able to find peace within myself and to make positive changes in my life. I won't have to feel depressed or angry about diaper-wearing--for once in my life, I'll be able to focus on something else and to let diapers become an active part of my identity!

    I'll take the time to visualize how I'll tell them of my intentions, and then I'll tell them that I intend to wear diapers again. When I do so, I'll post an update.

    Until then, feel free to comment--as I'll likely check in with your opinions as I go through this process.

  5. #5

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    Eh...seems kind of iffy. If I had to choose between seeing my parents and wearing diapers, I would obviously go with seeing my parents. I enjoy wearing diapers, but at some point you really have to get your priorities straight. (personal opinion)

  6. #6
    Peachy

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    I'm not sure what to make of your statement, to be honest. I remember a time when you were in constant conflict with your parental units over your diapers and had to settle on just wearing and not using them. Then a while ago you left the forum, and now you've seem to have gone the exact opposite...binge cycle!

    Personally, I'm not at all fussed about people going 24/7. It's your decision what kind of underwear you wear and where you deposit your bodily waste products, and for all I care, you could do so standing right next to me. You'll just have to deal with the fact that other people around you may not be so liberal and understanding about your diaper use and the nuisances (smell, sound) that come with it. Again, you'll have to bear the consequences of that - a fact every young adult will learn sooner or later.

    I'm just wondering about the motives for your decision. YOu said something about basically gaining self-confidence from wearing 24/7. How so? Because, when put on the spot by people noticing your diaper, you will have to defend yourself and face the challenge? And I don't quite understand how wearing 24/7 makes you more social and outgoing. You compare your situation to being transsexual, but I think that decision/feeling is rooted a lot deeper than the choice of your underwear.

    Again, don't consider it an accusation or anything. I'm just curious to find out how your decision to wear 24/7 has made you stronger when most people who are forced into diapers by accidents or whatever are bound to experience the opposite - insecurity and retreating into solitude. If you've chosen the diaper path to overcome the problems you've had before and it works for you, then I'm all for it. As you said for yourself: It may be a temporary crutch that you can eventually discard once you've reached the point where diapers won't be necessary to be who you want to be.
    To be honest, I think that idea of deliberatly getting yourself into a tough situation to prove to yourself that you can achieve some goals you thought you could not reach and to change your personality is quite common. Some people grab a backpack and climb on a mountain, or fly off to foreign lands for half a year, and for you, it's just diapers. Maybe that's the light in which you should be seeing your experiment. May also be a good comparison when talking to your parents
    Speaking of which: Where do you live now that wearing 24/7 is possible?

    On the medical question: I don't think it's possible to untrain yourself that easily, unless you have had a prior history of bedwetting or your toilet training wasn't as successful as for many others of us who'd need years of practice to even wet a diaper laying down. If you want to wear 24/7 anyway, you'll eventually lose some control, so why worry about it happening sooner rather than later? It's what you wanted in the first place, so maybe your mind is just playing its part in this.

    Peachy

  7. #7

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    i agree with peachy. you seem to be a person of violent extremes, kif. you either let your parents completely control everything you do, even things that should be strictly private, or you do the exact opposite and flagrantly defy them.

    there's nothing bad about wearing 24/7 in and of itself. it's when it starts interfering with crucial aspects of your life (like your relationship with your parents) that it becomes a problem. if your parents don't want you to wear diapers around them, you should respect that! if that means you have to wait until you're older to start wearing 24/7 then so be it.

    try to be flexible: you don't have to choose between wearing diapers all the time or never wearing them at all. i think you should wear as often as you like, even 24/7 if you can, but when it starts interfering with other aspects of your life, that's when you know you're taking it too far.

    you said that you're not an exhibitionist, and you want to keep your diaper wearing discreet. so then why do you want to discuss it with your parents!? if diapers are becomming such a big part of your life that it's going to lead to conflict with your parents, you're effectively shoving your diaper-wearing in their faces. wear in private, keep it a secret if you need to, and wait until you're older and you can integrate 24/7 diaper-wearing into your lifestyle without messing up your family life.

  8. #8
    Peachy

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    Quote Originally Posted by avery View Post
    i agree with peachy. you seem to be a person of violent extremes, kif. you either let your parents completely control everything you do, even things that should be strictly private, or you do the exact opposite and flagrantly defy them.
    [...]
    so then why do you want to discuss it with your parents!? if diapers are becomming such a big part of your life that it's going to lead to conflict with your parents, you're effectively shoving your diaper-wearing in their faces. wear in private, keep it a secret if you need to, and wait until you're older and you can integrate 24/7 diaper-wearing into your lifestyle without messing up your family life.
    That sounds rather extreme as well, avery - "messing up the family life" (I hope you don't mean that literally ). But maybe that's what Kif wants or needs, as I explained in my previous post: Shaking off that parental control by more or less putting them on the spot "Look, I'm diapered 24/7, and I'm old enough to decide for myself". Maybe he's just a late bloomer and put off his period of rebellion against his parents until now. Teens do all kinds of weird stuff despite or because of their parents' disapproval - dress in gothic/punk/arousing/offense clothing, drink excessively, take drugs, get girls pregnant, but why not wearing 24/7? Different tool, same concept.
    In the light of that argument, it would be pointless to wait until he can integrate 24/7 with his life - he needs something right now to prove his independence and to grow self-esteem on. I agree that it's not a good situation to put his parents in, but I would deduct from Kif's words that right now, he's more interested in his own development rather than his parents' opinion or approval. So it once again comes down to the fact that he's now an adult and can make his own decisions, but will have to bear the consequences of them.

    Peachy

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peachy View Post
    That sounds rather extreme as well, avery - "messing up the family life" (I hope you don't mean that literally ). But maybe that's what Kif wants or needs, as I explained in my previous post: Shaking off that parental control by more or less putting them on the spot "Look, I'm diapered 24/7, and I'm old enough to decide for myself". Maybe he's just a late bloomer and put off his period of rebellion against his parents until now. Teens do all kinds of weird stuff despite or because of their parents' disapproval - dress in gothic/punk/arousing/offense clothing, drink excessively, take drugs, get girls pregnant, but why not wearing 24/7? Different tool, same concept.
    In the light of that argument, it would be pointless to wait until he can integrate 24/7 with his life - he needs something right now to prove his independence and to grow self-esteem on. I agree that it's not a good situation to put his parents in, but I would deduct from Kif's words that right now, he's more interested in his own development rather than his parents' opinion or approval. So it once again comes down to the fact that he's now an adult and can make his own decisions, but will have to bear the consequences of them.

    Peachy
    hmm, maybe i hadn't read your first post closely enough when i said i agreed with you. it sounded like you were recommending that kif be courteous and tactful toward the people around him, and that that would include his parents.



    Quote Originally Posted by Kif
    Though I am an adult, they refuse to let me wear diapers around them--which means if an agreement is not reached.......things might get rough. I love my parents, and I don't want them to leave me. However, I also absolutely refuse to continue living an unbalanced and secretive life.
    kif, it looks to me like there's a pretty clear conflict of interest between your involvement with diapers and your relationship with your parents. in that sort of a situation, the parents ALWAYS come first. nomatter how high a priority diapers are in your life, they should never be more important than your job, your social life, and your family life.

    your parents have asked that you not wear diapers in their presence. the courteous thing to do is to respect that request, or at the very least, if you DO wear diapers around them, to make sure they never find out. to insist that your parents embrace and accept your diaper-wearing amounts to shoving your fetish in their faces. it also sounds like it's wishful thinking in your case.

    the root cause of your troubles is the same as it's always been: you shouldn't be discussing your diaper-wearing with your parents at all! whether you're standing up for yourself or caving in to them, the biggest problem is that you've brought the issue to them in the first place. you don't need them to approve your choice of underwear for you. be strong enough to make your own choices, and wear as much as you can without letting them find out. just be courteous enough to keep your private life private!

  10. #10

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    I suppose, shamefully, that this may have been a binge cycle--and I apologize for being so extreme. However, I do not regret any of the experiences that have come into my life, as the result of my behavior. No amount of words could have taught me as much as I've learned from actual experiences.

    My challenges with control do lie in the fact that my parents and I have talked about this for years. I did not come up to them and tell them--they found out, years ago, and since then we've been through enough psychological counseling that the doors have become open. We expect to be open to each other, now, and both my parents and I strongly appreciate it.

    I would have preferred that they had not found out about this so long ago, but it is the situation that I must deal with.

    Now, the relationship has inherently been a controlling one. In all aspects of my life, I’ve not ever been the one to rebel against an established order, until now—so you could say that I’m finally going through the “typical rebellious teenager” phase. I’ve got to be quite honest and admit this is an extreme form of rebellion—but at least it does not involve something worse, like drugs or sex. Aside from that, though I do say that I would rather choose my own stability (hence, diapers) over my parents—what I really mean to say is that I choose for now (temporarily) to pursue something beyond my parents.

    I love my parents dearly, and even if I could wear 24/7, I would still want to put on regular underwear around them. I would never leave them.

    Now, I did talk to them yesterday—unexpectedly. In a moment of spontaneity, I told them about the experiences that I’d been through since entering college and trying to wear diapers 24/7. It turns out that they had always accepted my diaper-wearing—but what had been mis-communicated was their approval of it. My parents disapprove of wearing diapers—especially using them—and do not want to see any of it. However, they told me that I could make my own decisions—as an adult—and if I wanted to wear diapers, they would be fine with it as long as I did not use them.

    Now, I understand better what I can do to respect them—and what has changed is that I do not feel controlled in such a way that I MUST obey their wishes. Now, I can choose and be aware of what that choice implies.

    I wish to respect my parents, as well as myself.
    God, I wish this were easier. Then again, “easier” may not be the best option.Therefore, I will choose to wear diapers only when I am NOT around my parents. Or, if I do choose to wear them, I will certainly NOT use them. And, I do not intend to bring this topic to their attention anymore--unless they ask.

    It is now my responsibility to bear, and I will not let them take any more parts in it. I can move on, now.



    I apologize, again, for being so extreme. This has been a bit of a “binge”, if it could be put that way.

    But I know that a better balance will come out of this—I’ve found both ends of the valley, and now I can look for a place to settle in-between. Please, wish me luck.

    And for those of you who claim to be wearing 24/7 for non-medical needs, I pose a question to you:

    What does your family think of your 24/7 behavior?

    I've yet to hear anyone talk about it--and I really feel it ought to be discussed more often. People like myself really ought to help make this information more-easily accessible to younger members who feel confused on this challenging life-situation. I hope that my situation can be an example, if nothing else.

    Thank you for your help, Avery and Peachy.

    ~Kif~

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