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Thread: To all the married people - how does this affect your marriage?

  1. #1

    Default To all the married people - how does this affect your marriage?

    Hey all! So my question is to all of the married people out there - how does the whole diaper issue affect the relationship? Adversely? Positively? If so, how? And I guess, to clarify a little bit more, I'm talking about those couples who face this issue (diapers) without one or the other being incontinent. Because of course, if you are incontinent, then you don't have a choice of whether or not to wear diapers.

    Does that make sense? From a personal standpoint, I'm not married, but really hope to be one day, and obviously I anticipate this issue to be somewhat of a challenge.

    I'm really interested what everyone has to say! Thanks!


  2. #2


    Hi! I've been married for almost 3 years now. We have a dauther (2 years old) and the hole diaper thing doesn't effect in anyway... My wife doesn't wear herself. She told me once she thinks it's cute

  3. #3


    I'm wondering if you could narrow your question. Is there an area you have in mind?

    I'm new to being open about my interests (about 5 months or so) but I would say it has had a positive impact on our marriage. We are still working out what role we want to play in our lives but I have experienced a huge amount of relief that she knows about this side of me and she has surprised me with her efforts to understand.

    To answer the general question, I think it has increased trust (she knows something about me no one else does) communication (it raised a number of interesting questions that would not have arisen otherwise) and expanded the way we relate.

    So far it has not undermined her view of me as a man and it has enabled us to share some tender moments that have touched us both.

    But I realize that is probably too abstract. So if you have specific questions I'd be happy to answer them. I may not be representative but I'm willing to be candid.


  4. #4


    I can share my situation. I have been married for a long time and have for about 12 or 13 of those years had a "neurogenic bladder" which gives me urinary urgency by day and and bedwetting at night. One mattress was ruined. When we got a new one, my wife imposed a very firm rule: every single night I wear DIAPERS and plastic panties (that is how she requires me to I refer to them). And there is a waterproof liner under the sheet.

    She uses my obvious need for diapers, not only as a practical solution, but also as a tool for dominating me. She is also gradually (but not always so sublty) introducing a bit of feminization. Our sex life flourishes and we share a strong religous faith and I trust her as the wearer of the pants. My work day is hard enough so I am willing to relinquish control to her when I get home.


  5. #5


    All positive for me. Wearing diapers in much more enjoyable for me now that my wife knows. It doesn't bother her at all, and she's happy that I'm happy. Our relationship has always been rock solid but it's much better without having to hide a part of yourself. I enjoy wearing diapers to bed a couple of days a week and often wearing and watching TV together. She has even let me diaper her once for fun, but only because I wanted to!

  6. #6


    I am not married just yet, but I live with my fiance and will be married soon. Neither of us are incontinent and he has no interest in nappies.

    I think that like many areas of married life or relationships, it's all about consideration and sacrifice. By that I mean both partners thinking of each other's needs with as much importance as their own. And sometimes, with more importance.

    My fiance doesn't like my interest, but he is not adverse to it, because he understands it means something to me. We work hard to make our relationship strong and we do alight.

    How it works out for me, is that I wear discreetly and with consideration of the occasion. For example, I wouldn't wear at times that might cause him embarrasment or anxiety, such as when out with friends together. When at home, I avoid making an exhibition of it. And I don't attempt to pull him into the interest. So, for example, I don't wander around wearing an uncovered nappy, and all my trips to buy them are done while he is at work.

    In all types of relationships, including business, friendships, etc, communication is important, and if I was making him very uncomfortable, I'd trust him to tell me. Our relationship is such that he is ok with chatting over issues with me, when I instigate it, such as why I have the desires I have, and many other deep subjects. So, I think we understand each other as well as possible.

    While I make many considerations for him, he does the same for me. For example, while I was ill recently, and laying in bed, he made me some tea in a bottle, which was really appreciated.

  7. #7

    Default A big thank you to all that replied

    Hey all - thank you very much for your candid replies - very helpful and insightful. It's encouraging to think that there are partners out in real life, that accept this, or atleast put up with it. The crux of it lies here: this "fetish" (it's more than that...) seems to be a little bit more on the fringe - and so I would think that rejection could be a real possibility by people that you have opened up to on this subject...

    Another angle I think, is from a personal standpoint, guilt over this. Trying to accept it. And I think that if your partner could accept you and it (diapers) then that would help with personal guilt... Does that make sense?

    I posted another topic, of what have therapists said about this? (diapers). have they said "It's an addiction - sex addiction - and you need to stop?" have they said "It's a fetish, it's not leaving you, accept it"? Medication offered?

    Again, a big thank you to all - I found all replies helpful, and on an earlier thread appreciated what Lill said about his experience with a therapist.
    Religion is the big factor in all of this for me... do I have a responsibility to quit (because of what God wants), and would I be a better future husband and man if I didn't have this, "addiction".... or "fetish" or "whatever"


  8. #8


    I went through most of my married life keeping it a secret from my wife. I had Fridays off for many years. That changed, and I had to wear less frequently. At some point she became ill with bone damage to her feet, and going on kidney dialysis. I helped out a great deal, even learning how to do home dialysis. During this period I was under a lot of stress. I ordered some cloth diapers and plastic pants, and she saw the order. I chose to explain everything.

    Since then, this has worked out very well. I wear to bed when I want or during the day if it's practical. Like Elli, I conceal them under clothes, or shorts, which I often sleep in. My wife is very understanding and accepting. She takes an interest in adisc, and often asks about individuals that I have an interest in, worry about, etc.

    I think she understands me at a greater depth. I was honest with her about every other aspect of my life before we got married, which included spending some time with a shrink, attractions to the other sex. I shared my writing with her, my poetry, my music, the things I found beautiful. She knew I was a complicated person, and it was that person she fell in love.

  9. #9

    Default Thank you dogboy... that's encouraging...

    Thank you dogboy - appreciate what you wrote. You know, it seems the theme in this thread is honesty: how beneficial it is to both you and your parter, and how much the partner appreciates it. It seems that it's also therapeutic in a way to share your secret with your partner - atleast that's what I'm gathering from all of the replies. Appreciated...

    I can relate on the complicated person comment you wrote - I also am complicated, and have sooooo many thoughts about just this one issue - arguments of "it's okay" versus "it's wrong..." I just about drive myself crazy.



  10. #10

    Default Marriage

    My interest in diapers and baby play for the most part has strengthened our relationship. My wife thinks that it is neat to have something that most couples dont and she find it to be very special.

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