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Thread: To tell or not to tell...

  1. #1

    Default To tell or not to tell...

    That is the question and I have come to you for the answer.

    I have known this guy for 4 years now and we are great friends. I have... idk what to call it... a desire to tell him about this but... i really don't know how he'll take it...

    Please vote here and post any comments.

    Thank you for your help!

  2. #2

  3. #3


    How would telling him benefit you? Would it put you in jeopardy, if he decided to go public with what you tell him? I would be very cautious. It could make life very difficult for you.

  4. #4


    He doesn't care to hear what you do in the bedroom (well, hopefully there), and this urge is a passing phase. Don't tell him if you value your friendship as it is now.

  5. #5


    Do you consider him your friend? Friends are people who you can tell things to in confidence and keep things secret or special to themselves, and respect and honor you in whatever you say. If you are afraid that he will say anything or make you uncomfortable about what he would say by just his actions, so forth then you should reconsider, but if you are comfortable in saying something and know he's a type of person who you respect and honor, then no doubt go for it!

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    How would telling him benefit you? Would it put you in jeopardy, if he decided to go public with what you tell him? I would be very cautious. It could make life very difficult for you.
    I say "no" for the sames reasons.

  7. #7


    I'm going to have to agree with them majority of the posters here. I don't think you would benefit at all from telling him. You have to understand, I feel the same way at many times. But, what would be the point? Get him to wear diapers? HOPE that he'll like diapers? Chances of that are VERYYY slim.

  8. #8


    Ask yourself:

    "Am I telling this person to make myself feel better?"

    if yes, then you shouldn't tell them. I have told people out of the desire to feel accepted, when all I needed to do was do some internal work on my relationship with myself

  9. #9


    If you were incontinent then it might be a good idea. But if you wear for fun there is no good reason to tell anyone that you are not dating.

    The best thing that could possibly happen is that you never talk about it again and he never thinks about it again. There is a thread up now where telling a non interested friend got someone ratted out to their parents and probably a bunch of other people.

  10. #10


    As a general rule of thumb, the answer to this type of question is no.

    What, exactly, do you gain by telling your friend? Generally, the answer is "not much". Moreover, if he's going to take it neutrally anyway, you just forced your sexual fetish on him for no reason, which is really awkward and uncalled for - it's not like he's telling you about what sex positions he fantasizes himself performing.

    What could happen in the unlikely case that he doesn't take it well? Generally, the answer is "it's unlikely that he'll take it wrong, but he could cause a lot of problems if he did". You're 14 - teenagers your age are not exactly the most trustworthy keepers of juicy secrets.

    All in all, it's generally a -EV decision to tell people.

    Once you tell someone, you can't undo it. You'd better be making this decision on more than just a strong urge because there are some nasty potential consequences that you could have to live with. This is not a decision to be taken lightly with a poll.

    There will come a day when you're older, slightly less hormone driven, and surrounded by people you can better trust (and/or a significant other who cares for you and deserves to know the full you). Wait until that day.

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