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Thread: Libido

  1. #1

    Default Libido

    Okay, firstly, I really do not come to this forum often anymore, so I'm pretty sure that 99% of all of you have no idea who I am, but I do remember this being the place to go to, to ask the kinds of question that you don't really ask people in general, and as long as you posted in a mature manner and weren't a complete pedophile, nobody would really judge you for it.

    So... I have a very interesting probelm. Over... well the past two years or so, it seems I've began to seriously start losing my sex drive. Well. Let me rephrase that, kind of. It's more like I basically get hardly any of the stimulation I used to get from masturbating, yet my body still has the urges to do it quite often, and a lot of the time it's still really hard to arouse myself, even if I'm thinking about what in my mind's opinion is the most arousing kind. On top of that, I can barely get anything from sexual circumstances unless I'm masturbating and have the fantasies in my head. Yet say, for instance, if I'm having phone sex, even if the subject of sex is what turns me on the most, it doesn't do much for me at all, and requires a ridiculous amount of effort to even get an orgasm. Pretty much, I hardly feel anything. When I see something in everyday life, like an attractive body, that used to just arouse me on the spot, I barely even notice it, and my brain is just like "yeah, okay, DD's. Whatever, boring"

    And when this first started I was scared that I would lose my sex drive completely by the time I'm 20, and laughed about how ridiculous that sounded. But Now I wouldn't doubt it X_X. I really don't want to be that guy.

    So my question is as to what can affect ones sex drive. For instance, if there's some kinds of physical or psychological side affects of certain things that might affect ones sex drive, I wouldn't mind knowing, everything and anything that would affect it.

    I don't do alcohol or drugs, and regardless of the 1 or 2 depression cycles in the past 2 years that it started to vanish, I had the most sexual gratification before that when I was in an insanely deep depression. I also don't have any STD's.

    Thanks (I think)

  2. #2

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    You're 16. Assuming you're typical, you went through puberty 2-3 years ago. I would expect that for most people, sexual stimulation declines quite a bit after puberty given that you have ungodly hormone levels during puberty.

    Rest assured, I can say as a college student that sexual stimulation is harder to get and does a lot less for me than when I was 13-15.


    I wouldn't worry about it - I'm sure you have enough other things to worry about already. Even if you have a really low sex drive, there's little you can do about it, and there are far worse things that could happen to you in life anyway.

    Honestly, as an asexual myself, I would say my life would be easier if I didn't have a sex drive at all. My diaper fetish may get me off, but it's really not that much fun, it seems really empty, and it introduces various inconveniences into my life. It's not a very good cost-benefit proposition.

  3. #3
    Mesmerale

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NutFreeFruitcake View Post
    You're 16. Assuming you're typical, you went through puberty 2-3 years ago. I would expect that for most people, sexual stimulation declines quite a bit after puberty given that you have ungodly hormone levels during puberty.

    Rest assured, I can say as a college student that sexual stimulation is harder to get and does a lot less for me than when I was 13-15.


    I wouldn't worry about it - I'm sure you have enough other things to worry about already. Even if you have a really low sex drive, there's little you can do about it, and there are far worse things that could happen to you in life anyway.

    Honestly, as an asexual myself, I would say my life would be easier if I didn't have a sex drive at all. My diaper fetish may get me off, but it's really not that much fun, it seems really empty, and it introduces various inconveniences into my life. It's not a very good cost-benefit proposition.
    I completely agree with this on both points.

    The idea of getting older causing your sex drive to lower seems completely plausible.

    And I definitely agree that my life would be easier if my sex drive was lower. It's a gift, man. Accept it.

    Seriously, though, try to see the good in not being distracted by having to fap every couple of hours.. Beautiful thing, focus..

  4. #4

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    I'd basically like to second Mesmerale's comment. While it may seem to suck that you're losing the edge you used to have in that regard, also realize that now, you've got more time on your hands, as opposed to having... Nevermind. But seriously. You may just be freaking out that you don't have the usual cycle you used to, and don't have to do that so much anymore, and don't know what to do, because your life structure/schedule is changing... Put the extra time to good use, and enjoy the ability to shift your mind away from sex much easier than before. And congrats, man. =)

  5. #5

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    I third that.

    Many will say that reduced sex drive can help you stay focused. If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend you may find yourself noticing the more detailed aspects of him/her such as disposition, preference towards clothing/accessory style, toe/foot hair, length of arms in relation to yours, and much more. You'll look at his/her face, not boobs/ass. You will benefit overall and your sex drive will never entirely leave you, it's just that meaningless sex will disgust you.

    Being autistic, I find my sex drive to be extremely dull (not dead, I still do get off), partly because of my nonsocial disposition and mostly because I find any kind of superficial relationship to be empty and therefore pointless. Thats not to say I won't ever find a girlfriend (yes it's true that I never had a girlfriend and I do get made fun of because of it), but it's going to take a while to do it. I actually enjoy not having a normal sex drive because it allows me to waste my time in more constructive ways.

  6. #6

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    You will find as you age, yes at 16 you are ageing, you need to find different ways of stimulating your sex drive, that is where most fetishes come in to play, you will try something and it will work great and then after awhile it looses its appeal also, and you move on.

    This is why the internet is so great you can find almost anything you need, to get you stimulated, when I was 16 and before I was wank central, but as I got older I moved from one thing to another looking for the spark.

    Check out some fetish sites and see if there is anything that sparks your interest, don't spend alot of money if you need props, use your mind frist and props second.

    That is how I got interested in diapers at an older age than most guys here, I also have many other interests to keep my spark alive, I plan on having that spark untill I croke.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by NutFreeFruitcake View Post
    You're 16. Assuming you're typical, you went through puberty 2-3 years ago. I would expect that for most people, sexual stimulation declines quite a bit after puberty given that you have ungodly hormone levels during puberty.
    This. I can speak from experience on this one. I was a... well, when I was 13-14, I just felt like I *needed* to get off several times a day. It was terribly distracting, especially in class. Ever been so horny that you just cannot concentrate on anything else, and you're seriously considering making a lapse in judgement and going to find someplace pseudo-private to go get off, just so you can feel human again? Yeah, when you're that horny, it's easy to get off--quickly. After that drive died down some (actually, somewhere around 16-17 now that I'm thinking of it), I had to put a little more work into... well, yeah.

    There's a good chance this is just a result of getting older. You probably won't lose your sex drive or ability to get off completely, but you may become a bit more... discerning, I guess. It's not necessarily a bad thing. As others have said: being able to concentrate, especially when you're trying to function as an adult and not a young teen, is useful. But I'll say it again: don't worry, I doubt you'll lose it completely.

    Also: being stressed can decrease one's sex drive, though you didn't mention if your life is particularly stressful right now. But if you're worried about not being able to get off easily while you're trying to get off--it's probably not helping things.
    Last edited by Tygon; 19-Sep-2009 at 16:06.

  8. #8

    Default

    i would discuss this with your doctor. hopefully it's pretty much a non-issue, as others are suggesting. it's typical for your sex drive to go through periods of greater or lesser intensity, and it's also typical for a 16-year-old to be less horny than a 14-year-old. but there's a chance that there's something going wrong that your doctor would need to know about. it'll be an embarrassing conversation, but doctors are used to having those and he/she will know how to make it easy for you to talk about it.

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