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Thread: Having a Same Sex Relationship

  1. #1

    Default Having a Same Sex Relationship

    Recently, a friend of mine came out as gay. Now this took me by surprise as I thought he was like me in that they didn't really care much about developing any real relationships with anyone. Not to say their romantic stills are dry. But just seemed like an all round good friend.

    This got me thinking, my friend only really came out of the closet because they were sick and tired of having to hide their partner. They have been together for a number of months, and I guess they wanted to tell people so they could be more comfortable being around eachother around me and other friends.

    There are a number of homosexual people, and I can imagine that they've been in similar situations. So how do you handle remaining under the radar if you're still in he closet as it were. Being limited to your freedoms will take a hit on how you are dating your partner. And ultimately leave you missing out.

    It's not that you can never seen to me 10m within each other in public, but to avoid certain people raising eyebrows after you are suddenly interested in a new person, inviting them in the house every week or bring along to every activity of your friends. I guess you just play it smooth and act as normal friends?

  2. #2


    It's always gonna be a bit tricky unless you're one of those people who is happy to share the fact that they are gay with everyone that they meet.

    I'm lucky in that all my friends, and my parents know about my BF and me.
    I haven't told extended family though, because to be honest I'm not that close to any of them, so it's just not worth the hassle.

    For me workmates biggest pain, since you're dealing with lots of colleagues who's personal beliefs and values you don't know much about.

    I've told a few people at work who I know to be open-minded, but haven't made it public knowledge that I'm gay in-case it effects my working relationship with anyone. Besides, it isn't really their business, though I'd probably be honest if anyone specifically asked me if I was gay.

    I've been with my BF now for the last three years, so it is pretty weird to have some colleagues telling me that I need to go and find a nice girl to date :P

  3. #3


    im literally not allowed to tell anyone in my family other than my parents....god only knows what would happen. I don't even know why they made this rule. Why would i go tell the world in the first place?

    wow thats a rant ^

    im female,bi, and taken with a girl btw

  4. #4


    i think the people closest to me have it figured out already,even though i havent been around anybody near them

  5. #5


    It actually hasn't been much of a problem for me. While I'm not in any type of relationship now, when I was with someone of the same sex, I generally didn't intermingle with my regular friends. I don't live with my parents, and I don't live in the town I grew up in, so really nobody's ever asked. Also, it is one of my personal things that I am extremely against even the slightest public display of affection, so that helps I guess.

  6. #6


    When I was in college I "was with" my room mate. Eventually people figured it out. The biggest problem was with my parents. I started to get the "I never see you with a girl"....etc. Eventually, either your friends accept you or they don't . If they're good friends, they do.

  7. #7


    UnMarth, I was in a similar position as you are about this time last year. A good school friend of mine, who I suspected of being gay, finally came out of the closet, although the difference between your story and mine is that he was caught out... by my brother.

    Actually, it's a pretty interesting story in itself, but I'll keep it concise. My friend (friend 1) and I were all having drinks at another friend's house (friend 2), when my brother and some of his friends dropped around quickly to say hello. On their way out, my brother's friend mentioned to my brother that he had slept with friend 1. Word got around back to me and I confided in friend 2 about it, because he was more or less a closer friend to friend 1 than I was. After curiosity got the better of him, friend 2 asked friend 1 and he eventually admitted it.

    I guess at the time I felt a little bad about putting him in this position, but the outcome for him had many benefits. He's now openly gay, has a boyfriend and seems happier. Found out he was afraid to tell us because we might hate him for it and all that typical anti-homosexual jazz. For reassurance, I basically told him that I really don't care what preferences he had, despite any [joking] slander I've made in the past (and that I'm more open than he gave me credit for... for certain reasons. ).

    I suppose if you take anything away from what I've said, UnMarth, is that on your behalf just make a point of showing your support (if you haven't already). Just once though, don't go overboard. I'm sure he doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is gay. Tell him you're A-OK with it, that it doesn't bother you and that it's not going to stand in the way of anything.

    Then move on and get on with just being friends like you always were.

  8. #8


    I'm openly gay to everyone but my parents!
    I'm also openly a furry and a TB.

    So, I kinda do not hide!

  9. #9


    Well you gay people are not the only ones who got bugged about not bringing girls home. I brought girls home when I got my own place to bring them to. Plus I didn't date til late in life, like grade 11. Lesbians I have known have had a bit of an easier time of it...

  10. #10


    I started dating my first boyfriend around the same time that I started coming out to people. But yeah, there was a lot of sneaking around at first.

    My group of friends that I see regularly consists of about 10 people or so. When I started dating my boyfriend I was somewhat out to two of them. I'd told them that I might be bi to try the waters a bit, even though I knew that wasn't really the case. They were nothing but supportive which felt great at the time, having known I wasn't straight since I was 10 or 11 without ever telling anybody (and being 17 at the time).

    I met my boyfriend pretty shortly after telling those two people after a series of random events leading me to be at his birthday party. So, we started dating. The aforementioned friends knew about it but none of my other friends did. So when I was going to my boyfriend's place I'd usually make up a story about just going to hang out with some other friend. Which was easier said than done since oftentimes all of my friends hung out together at the same time. Every time I feared that somebody might call the bluff by talking to the friend I was supposedly with on MSN or something. It was really kind of stressful thinking back to it.

    Other stuff that was hard were times such as when one of my friends got a hold of my cell phone and found a text message from my boyfriend saying he missed me. When confronted I joked it off as a guy I knew who was just messing around.

    I eventually just came clean about everything. One or two friends at a time with the support of those who already knew. In short: one of the best things I've done. Not one negative comment from anybody. No nothing. Nobody cared besides having a general "good for you!" attitude. Sometimes your fears are just in your head.

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