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Thread: Church..........

  1. #1

    Default Church..........

    My parents are forcing me to go to church...... My dad was put in prison and turned his life around in "the eyes of god". Leaving my mom a die hard christian. I don't even want to go to church. Just the thought disgusts me. Wasting away perfectally good hours of my life... Should I talk to them? Or just go and not listen to anything?

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Mako

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    Quote Originally Posted by SilverStar View Post
    My parents are forcing me to go to church...... My dad was put in prison and turned his life around in "the eyes of god". Leaving my mom a die hard christian. I don't even want to go to church. Just the thought disgusts me. Wasting away perfectally good hours of my life... Should I talk to them? Or just go and not listen to anything?
    I don't know your parents at all, but stereotypically this is what we call a rock and a hard place. On the one hand you can go to something you have no interest in and appease your parents, on the other hand you can rebel and possibly bring down a lot of "tough love".

    It becomes risk management at this point. Would you risk possible grounding for the chance of not going to church?

    Though I am curious, what are the specific reasons you don't want to go? If you choose to talk to them then your probably going to get asked this anyways.

  4. #4
    Butterfly Mage

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    I'd try to have a rational conversation in which you state honestly that you don't feel comfortable in being pushed into a religious framework in which you do not agree.

  5. #5

    Default Christ, you know it ain't easy! You know how hard it can be! The way things are going, they're going to crucify me!

    So let's take a look at what KIND of church going is going to be required or expected of you and your alternatives and then create a personal activities schedule/plan that can be shared with your parents.

    Is the church attendance being offered/suggested/required the obligatory one hour on Sunday vanilla Christian version? Or is it the more insipid/rabid - Sunday most of the day shot to hell, with numerous other midweek services, youth groups, gatherings, et-cetera, et-cetera, et-cetera?

    SilverStar, you have an ace in the hole! You are a conscientious, committed and uber-busy high school student! At the current time you are involved in a rigorous marching band program. Which if memory serves me right, while my son was in the program obligates you for 4 hours each week night and 8-10 hours on Saturdays for practice. Then when competition begins you have numerous trips that depart 5:00 PM Fridays and don't get you home until 2:00 - 3:00AM on Mondays. In addition you will be at every home football game as part of the Pep Band and to do major half time shows while your band perfects this years marching field routine.

    Every spare waking hour (that you are not sleeping) you will have to be doing vast amounts of homework to keep up with your classes and grades. So if you make an effective appeal, you can possibly opt out of most church services between now and November when the marching band season ends.

    But by that time you will be heading straight into Jazz Band and basketball games. Oh, you will be so busy! Then over Christmas break you will be participating in Winter Percussion, preparing for major competition in Salem, Portland and elsewhere. Then in spring comes State Solo Music Competitions in Ashland, Salem and Portland.

    As I see it, your photo on the church bulletin board with a blurb about what you are doing in your High School Career may be the nearest thing to true church commitment for most of the year. Perhaps to appease your devout parents and the masses - create a (jazz) or other unique arrangement of an old hymn and offer to perform it during a special service.

    On top of your musical pursuits you are also a swimmer? Compete in the swim team and completely white yourself out of your parents schedule.

    Fortunately your four year high school career, roughly coincides with the amount of time you have before you are emancipated from obligation to parental requests.

    Hope this hasn't been just some smoke blown up your - er - instrument. Best of Luck to you, SilverStar.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Diapered Rabbit View Post
    So let's take a look at what KIND of church going is going to be required or expected of you and your alternatives and then create a personal activities schedule/plan that can be shared with your parents.
    Why does it matter what 'kind' church it is. Obviously his parents can't force him to believe what they want to, but, they can drag him along. Their house, their rules.

  7. #7

    Default You missed the point



    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky View Post
    Why does it matter what 'kind' church it is. Obviously his parents can't force him to believe what they want to, but, they can drag him along. Their house, their rules.

    My point was that rather than any confrontation about "my house, my rules" or some kind of show down, SilverStar can use his current situation to minimize his parents demands on his time.

  8. #8

    Default

    I went through the exact same thing a few years ago. I just stuck with what I believed in and refused to go. Church wasn't the only thing I was rebelling against, though. After years of neglect my parents finally decided they wanted to 'parent' me, so I lost almost all of the freedom I had grown up with (such as - wait for it - bicycling at night). So, because I wouldn't listen to them, but still acted courteously and did my chores and everything, they cut electricity from my room, locked up my bike, and refused to give me rides anywhere in town (which is interesting because I had never asked them for rides anywhere before they took my bike away). Once they saw that I didn't really care about all this (I didn't use electricity for anything other than a lamp; and I caught rides from friends), they caved and didn't bother me any further. Eventualy, the priest was accused of something like child abuse, was shuttled away in secret by the church, and my parents lost their faith and stopped going to church alltogether.



    Moral of the story?
    I think if you can somehow get the priest of your church accused of child molestation your parents won't force you to go there anymore.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillhouse View Post
    Moral of the story? I think if you can somehow get the priest of your church accused of child molestation your parents won't force you to go there anymore.
    Some tips. YouTube - Get A New Daddy


    But really talk to your parents about it, if they have one brain cell they will know they can't force someone into religion, it might seem like you can sometimes but it will always fall apart.

    Also this is a qoute from my own lead pastor. "You are not a Christian if you step inside a church just like your not a car if you step into a garage." That one line alone makes me feel fine to not go to church even though I do truly believe in god. I mainly don't go since I don't like some of the people especially the one's in my dad's group due to the being hypocritcs, idiots or just in general acting like they are Jesus themselves since they go to church every single week.

  10. #10

    Default

    @ Chillhouse:

    Maybe if parents stopped dressing their 7 year olds like hoars, they wouldn't be touched.... "I no rape you! You too ugly!"

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