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Thread: Have you shared this with your SO

  1. #1

    Post Have you shared this with your SO

    I am new to ADISC and after reading a few posts I have become curious how much people in serious relationships have shared with a significant other.

    How much does he/she know and how much does he/she participate?

    What impact, if any, it has had on your relationship?


  2. #2


    i was married to my wife for 12 years before mustering up the courage to tell her i enjoyed wearing and using diapers. i was so nervous, i was shacking. she just laughed and said if I'd told her 12 years ago, I could have been wearing them all this time. she started going out and buying diapers for me. that was 11 years ago and I've worn when and as often as I like. so it worked out well for me and I do feel blessed to have lucked out with such a wonderful and loving wife.

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by lill View Post
    How much does he/she know and how much does he/she participate?
    I told my partner after 7 years together and it went very well compared to what I'd built up in my mind. I've told him everything about my ABDL and I don't expect him to participate but he is open minded about changing me and treating me like a toddler/baby. He really doesn't have any objections to any of the ABDL activities expect concerns about pooping, but even then his concerns are very minor and not disapproving of pooping if that is what makes me happy.

    Quote Originally Posted by lill View Post
    What impact, if any, it has had on your relationship?
    The impact on my relationship has been great in that I don't have to feel bad by hiding / lying about something that is natural for me.

  4. #4


    My DL urges resurfaced in a big way a little over a year ago and then it really compounded when I discovered plastic backed adult diapers.

    When I was a teen Luvs size 6 (with Barney) was my diaper of choice & around 2001 they were one of the last diapers to switch to a cloth like cover. When I couldn't find them any more I thought about trying adult diapers but I always assumed that they were in the same (cloth backed) boat as baby diapers.

    About 6 months ago I discovered the Bambino's and bought a few and for the first time in over 10 years I fit into a diaper the way it was meant to fit. After that I knew it was going to be much harder to give it up again and I started thinking about what I would have to go through to hide it from my wife and what would happen in the event she was to find my stash or catch me padded.

    I decided the best option would be to tell her how I felt about diapers and hope she would understand. When I told her at first she was horrified and after I explained to her that diapers helped me to feel better about myself and helped me relax she s-l-o-w-l-y started to come around. The first few months were pretty rough and the more she started to realize that her perception of me in diapers really effected my self esteem the more she started to relax about it.

    Now it's gotten much better and I can wear in the house when she's home and she doesn't require me to hide my diapers from view. I am able to walk around the house in just a diaper now and wear to bed and the other day we had a sort of break through. In the past she wouldn't touch anywhere near my diaper when we were being affectionate (even if I had something on over it & was just giving a peck on the cheek before heading off to work,) and the other day, (without going into great detail) let's just say she was a bit more hands on than usual.

    I asked her to wear one time just to see how it felt (I thought maybe it would help her to better understand how I felt) and she was so adamant about never wearing a diaper unless it was medically necessary that I will never ask again unless she was to bring it up.

  5. #5


    I've been with my fiancee/ex-wife for almost 10 years on and off, and she participates to the fullest. She's in ab role pretty much 75 percent of the day, 90 percent on bad days. lol

    It's...perfect for us. It wouldn't be for a lot of couples, but it's really nice for us.

  6. #6


    My GF is really understanding and is totally supportive of me and my ab/dl tendencies. She has some other tendencies of her own and we work together. She is not into it for herself, but has no problem with me flaunting around in a diaper when just the two of us are together. (If that's what floats my boat.)

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by lill View Post
    I am new to ADISC and after reading a few posts I have become curious how much people in serious relationships have shared with a significant other. How much does he/she know and how much does he/she participate?
    I've shared my desire for diapers and my medical need for them with two women that I dated. The second one I married and we've been that way for almost 7 years. I told both of them within six to ten months after first dating. They were not interested in participating in diapering except for on rare occasions some kinky love making.

    Quote Originally Posted by lill View Post
    What impact, if any, it has had on your relationship?
    I think it has a lot of impact, especially for me since I'm urge incontinent and wear 24/7. My wife wishes I didn't have to wear diapers, but she has slowly accepted them. I think most women want to see their man as the strong leader in the relationship and when they see them in diapers or using infantile things, it's a turn-off for them. That being said, I think it's important to tell your SO about your desires BEFORE you decide to get serious or get married. I did and when she finally accepted me, it helped our relationship.

  8. #8


    It sounds like there are a number of understanding partners out there and that this can add something positive to a relationship. I'm especially impressed, Bokeh, with someone who starts out horrified but then slowly comes to accept it. Way to stick with it. Kudos to your wife!

    My own experience is that I have been married for 15 years and once in a while I have bought diapers while out of town on for work, but I never brought this home. I shared my interest in diapers with a therapist who encouraged me to try wearing one to see how it felt (I didn't have the courage to tell her that I had already tried them and was suprised when she suggested it.) That gave me a pretext to tell my wife about my interest and what the therapist recommended. It was terrifying to tell her but she was very understanding from the start.

    It's now all in the open, much to my surprise, since I never expected to tell anyone about this. Now she has purchased diapers for me and has gone with me to buy them, which helped. I no longer fear the store. She is willing to put one on me but wants me to wear boxers over them. We cuddle while I am wearing them but she stays away from touching them. I think she is still trying to get used to them.

    I feel so much better now that she knows although there is still a part of me that hasn't fully relaxed about opening up to her in this way. I was asking my question partly to get a feel for other people's experience. It feels like a beautiful experience so far but I'm afraid of hurting my relationship. The first time she diapered me I was nervous because I kept thinking that now we can never go back. What if this changes her image of me forever.

    It sounds like most people have had a positive experience with understanding partners. So I am breathing an even deeper sigh of relief.



  9. #9


    I think if you are not yet in a more permanent relationship, or in one at all, that it is important to tell your (future) partner about it towards the beginning of the relationship. This is just my opinion, but I'll give my reasons. If you tell them towards the beginning, then it'll already be out of the way, and you'll never be in the toss up of weighing benefits vs. consequences of telling. Also by telling early, you won't have to worry about damaging whatever image they have of you, at that point in the relationship it is still quite mailable. It would also be a good test of how committed they are if you were to tell at the beginning. Now I'm not saying to go tell them within any specific time, i.e. within the first 2 months, all I'm saying is earlier is better.

    That's my 2 cents on the matter.

  10. #10


    Yes, I told my ex-boyfriend about the whole thing one night when the topic of fetishes came up. He was very surprised but didn't take it badly. He instead bombarded me with questions.

    He never participated in it, but offered to do so if I wanted to. It mostly never happened because I felt I'd be the one who would be weirded out and not him. The diaper part of my sexuality is just a very private thing.

    As for the impact on our relationship it was all good. It really strengthened our trust in each other to be able to be so open about things like that.

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