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Thread: Confused

  1. #1

    Default Confused

    First off, this is very very difficult for me to type, but i feel comfortable enough to come to you guys about this. So please be nice because i am very fragile right now. soo here it goes.....

    I'm a 21 year old male (Along with my AB/DL desires) I have always been attracted to females. I have had many gf's and have been intimate with some.

    But recently i have been. *Pauses* feeling strongly in a sexual way towards men.

    This is very very hard for me to talk about but basically, has anyone here had this happen to them?(to just suddenly be attracted to another sex) I don't know what to do. I guess i now consider myself bicurious, but I don't know, i'm just so confused.

    What should I do?

  2. #2

    Default

    I think you're fine.

    I consider myself heterosexual and I have homosexual fantasies every once in awhile (sometimes for a day, sometimes a month). I usually just masturbate to the fantasy and the feeling fades eventually. If people would label me bi-curious, I'm fine with that. I know I'll never act on my homosexual fantasies with another man because I don't feel the need to; my imagination is good enough for me.

    Bottom line: you don't need to label your sexuality. Do what you're comfortable with, and be careful of the consequences (i.e. STDs).

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skeeter View Post
    I think you're fine.

    I consider myself heterosexual and I have homosexual fantasies every once in awhile (sometimes for a day, sometimes a month). I usually just masturbate to the fantasy and the feeling fades eventually. If people would label me bi-curious, I'm fine with that. I know I'll never act on my homosexual fantasies with another man because I don't feel the need to; my imagination is good enough for me.
    thats sorta how i feel. its been like a month ive felt like this. It literally feels like i was shot by cupids arrow. just BAM all of a sudden you know.

    thanks for the comforting words
    Last edited by Codybear; 25-Aug-2009 at 15:58. Reason: adding a thank you

  4. #4

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    I would tend to agree with Skeeter up to a certain point. I agree with him that it is totally fine to be having these feelings/thoughts. I also agree that the feelings/thoughts don't necessarily mean you are "gay" or "bisexual". What you have to do, is some serious soul searching! If you simply cannot wrap your head around acting out on these feelings, then you should examine why that is. You may come to the realization that the thoughts are more based in fantasy than in reality. If that is the case, use your imagination to explore these feelings. If in fact, the feelings are not based soley on fantasy you have some hard decisions to make. Do you act on the feelings? You have to evaluate the effect that would have on yourself and on the other person. No one wants to be a guinea pig for someone else to figure out their sexual preferences; nor is it fair to ask someone to be. Once you engage another person, you have to be above purely satisfying your own needs and take their feelings into account as well. If you are not in a place where you can accept this side of you, it may not be fair to involve others until you think it out a bit more and process your feelings. JMHO. ~MP

  5. #5

    Default

    I was in your shoes for a little bit, my suggestion would be to keep going with the sex you feel strongest for. However a little experimentation between relationships never hurt.

  6. #6

    Default

    Sexuality is fluid. IIRC, something like 3% of the population has their sexual preference switch for some period of their life.

    It's simply another point of evidence that there is nothing wrong about being something other than pure-heterosexual.

    You eventually go back to being purely heterosexual - if not, there's nothing wrong with identifying as bi.

  7. #7

    Default

    *giggles to self* I was going through the same thing a few weeks ago Cody. my advice is to experiment get out of your comfort zone and see what happens. Soul serching can help but it might make you over think things. see what you like and go from there.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by stonemask55 View Post
    *giggles to self* I was going through the same thing a few weeks ago Cody. my advice is to experiment get out of your comfort zone and see what happens. Soul serching can help but it might make you over think things. see what you like and go from there.
    i agree with stonemask. i have trouble understanding why you're so uncomfortable with this. if you're sexually interested in men, you should explore the idea of dating men. there's nothing wrong or shameful about having homosexual interests.

    if you're too hung-up to actually explore your fantasies, you luckily still have your interest in females you sustain you in real life. just because you fantasize about something doesn't mean you have to actively pursue it, although as i said i have trouble understanding why you wouldn't in this situation.

  9. #9

    Default

    I went through a bi-curious phase. It's natural, happens to a lot of people. If you do decide to experiment (which a lot of people do), then please, for the love of all things good in the world, play safe*. Essentially, human sexuality is far too complicated a thing to narrow down to 2 options. "Gay" and "straight" don't really cover it for most people. Check out the Kinsey Scale for a much better explanation.

    * - playing safe is good advice for everyone at all times, but if anyone messing around with guy/guy stuff should be a little extra careful. About the only STD that isn't more easily passed between guys is kids.

  10. #10

    Default

    lables are for soup cans. Don't worry about it you're fine.

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