(To my knowledge) None of the people on this forum are health professionals. So none of the advise given here is professional advise. Be very careful with the advise given here.
Now, I really really don't want to come across as whiney, but I'm having problems I am unable to resolve myself. Sure, this may sound whiney and I know for a fact there are worse issues in the world.
I switched from throwing up purging to excersise purging. It is getting out of control. My day starts with breakfeast, then a junkie snack...a binge. Then i workout like mad...eat lunch workout dinner... feel guilty. I run 4-6 miles a day. My day has been revolving around working out. I don't workout untill after I feel guilty which is around midmorning. Untill that happens I am unable to get on with my day because I am guilty.
My binges consist of more than two servings of junk usually after a meal. It is extrememly impulsive and I usually find myself simply wandering to the kitchen in a spaced out like state. Sometimes I can stop it somethimes i can't. I am afraid to tell anyone i know in real life about this because it makes me feel like i've lost all will power and control. I used to be anorexic...which is horrible, but at this point I am wishing i had that kind of control back.
I have tried all the tricks in the book to stop my binging. I have gone on a healthy balanced diet...gone back on a meal plan givin to me by rehab, stopped working out and purging to leave me no choice but to abstain (ha how stupid).
Part of the reason I have been binging is im so exhausted. I keep eating becaus i keep feeling hungry...eating is the only thing that makes me not tired. I keep sleeping average...about 12 to 8 or 9 am. I truely don't know what to do anymore. I keep gaining weight...i am now 120 lbs. I was 115 at the begenning of summer.
This is making me really upset. My weight has been yoyoing due to crash diets and deppression and working out. This isnt a way to live...I am so preoccupied and its just embarassing at this point. I have seen professional help and itsjust not working. I don't know how i got myself into this...
For a few months now I have been getting dangerous thoughts; thoughts of using ipepac,diet pills, you name it. I haven't yet though so please don't worry. After all this is why this is a thread and not a blog. I really need the advice to stop binging. If i stop binging I know I will be okay. Thank you for your concern and even reading this.