Personally, it can be very very hard if not nearly impossible to "get over it". You can say "how would you know unless you were in their shoes?" I know because I was
in their shoes. Albeit the fact that I wasn't physically abused, abuse is abuse and it can traumatize a child no matter how bad it was. I still haven't recovered, I guess you can say, from it. I was betrayed by my dad, and Tyler is right- even after being abused, they still go to that parent. For years and years after my dad was sent to prison, I wanted him back. I hadn't cared at that point that he did something that would affect me really badly in my later years of being a teenager, I just wanted him back. In my mind he was my dad, I was daddy's little girl and I always wanted to be that.
I didn't realize until I was about 16 that I didn't
want him back, that I didn't even want to see
him again. Even knowing he existed made me angry.
I went through counseling since the year it happened (mind you that was when I was 3), up until I was 16. And to this day I would still go back for more- I feel that there are more problems that I've been slowly uncovering that are a direct result of what happened. It's horrible for any child to have to go through child abuse, and it's something that will
stick with them for life. I have PTSD, depression and anxiety attacks, and abnormal, ridiculous fears about things such as sex because of what happened. They just didn't show themselves until i was old enough to understand.
Some of you may still believe that, no, they still are victims. But, I believe that a victim is a person that takes the experience that happened to them to their heart and brain in a negative manner. If a person lets the experience control their life then, yes, they are a victim. But, if a person abused as a child takes their experience to the heart and brain and comes to terms with it. Yes it did happen to them, yes it was very bad. And they can turn not only their life around, but the generations after them; then no, they are not a victim. Here is another quote from Richard Pelzer's book.
I have to disagree here. I am a victim- but I've been turning my life around the best I can. I'm making new friends, I'm slowly coming out of my shell of "everyone in the world is out to get me and make me hurt like he did". Sometimes it's VERY hard not to let such a thing control your life. It's something you just don't understand unless you experience it. Such a thing can drasticallyly change your view of the world- I have serious trust issues and very little to no self esteem because of what happened. I let people walk all over me in middle, high and elementary school because that's how I was treated. That's the only thing I knew how to cope with- I didn't know how to stand up to a bully, I was afraid of adults so I couldn't just go up to an adult and ask for help. All that made simply LIVING day to day a difficult task. Countless times I went home from school sobbing because I felt bad about people always bullying me. I was afraid that the three friends I had were lying to me and only trying to get close to me so they could hurt me. Why? Because bullies were telling that to me, and being lied to was something I had been previously exposed to, and being betrayed is what I felt was..."normal" i suppose.
Idk, I rambled but hopefully i got my point across. People are victims whether they want to be or not. It just doesn't have to have a negative connontation to it though.